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Ten Reasons Why I Broke Up With God

By Annabelle Gurwitch, TheNation.com. Posted December 13, 2007.


Shellfish, Iran, and Britney Spears, to name a few.

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After his address on religion last week, I'm sure I'll never be invited to Mitt Romney's White House should he be elected President. It's not just because as a National Public Radio commentator, documentary filmmaker, single-payer universal healthcare proponent and driver's license for illegal immigration-supporting liberal, I don't travel in the same circles as he does. As an atheist, I now know that I'm not even included in Romney's America.

You see, I broke up with God years ago, but not really because of the big stuff that leading godless heathens like Christopher Hitchens write about. As with most relationships, it's the little things that drove me crazy. Here's my top-ten list of reasons I gave God the old heave-ho. In no particular order:

1. Shellfish. My God would never make mussels, clams and oysters taste so good and then prohibit me, a Jewish gal, from eating them.

2. The meek shall inherit the earth. In my family, like much of America's workforce, not only have the meek inherited nothing, they are barely holding on to their standard of living. So on this point alone, I reject the Bible.

3. American Gladiators. If there were a God, American Gladiators would not be returning to TV this winter.

4. Iran. If there were a God one part of our government wouldn't be opening doors to negotiate with Ahmadinejad, while another fans the flames for military action.

5. There's not enough good Szechwan in Los Angeles. If there were a God, he would make better Chinese food more readily available in Los Angeles. LA is mostly made up of transplanted New Yorkers, so why can't we get good old chicken and broccoli in garlic source out West?

6. Britney Spears. If there were a God, Britney Spears wouldn't be one of the most Googled topics on the Internet. Although perhaps there is a God and this is one of the signs of the apocalypse. Example: Spears gave us views of her vajayjay: 3,450,000 Google hits. Jonas Salk gave us the polio vaccine: 212,000 Google hits.

7. Multitasking is of dubious effectiveness. Recent studies have shown that multitasking isn't that productive. If there were a God, he wouldn't allow my illusion of being able to accomplish more on a daily basis to be taken away from me.

8. God doesn't give you anything you can't handle. My God wouldn't allow people to make up inane aphorisms about him. I'm disorganized, easily distracted, have a fear of anything medical and have a kid with health issues. My God would know that I was a poor choice for this assignment, that this saying is just moronic and only serves to make people like me feel worse when we inevitably fail.

9. Trannies. Most all of the little beauty tips I've employed in my career as an actress I learned from the transvestites and transsexuals I used go-go dance with on the bar at the Pyramid Club in NYC. Especially tricks with crazy glue. My God simply would not stand for unequal treatment of gay people.

10. Darfur, AIDS, my awe and respect for the mysteries of science, that lead paint is in kids' toys, that we allow people to live on the streets, that we haven't passed stricter gun legislation... OK, I lied. I have a million top ten reasons why I reject the notion of the kind of God invoked in particular by the Republican candidates, though most of the Democrats have also enrolled in the campaign God-a-thon.

That said, I am willing to admit that I might be completely wrong about God. After all, round-toed Mary Janes are back, which is something I've prayed for, because it's just against nature to squeeze into pointy-toed high heels. Furthermore, Donny and Marie are reuniting. It seems so improbable that there is interest in them that even immaculate conception seems plausible to me now. Not to mention that the chance of a presidential run by former pastor Mike Huckabee -- not long after a movie about existentialism titled I (Heart) Huckabee was released -- seems to be the same as the notion that dinosaurs walked the earth at the same time as man.

But if Mitt and I ever did break bread, he would get no flak from me on the Mormon faith. Compared to burning bushes, people turning into piles of salt, plagues and general mayhem of the Bible, I find Joseph Smith's buried tablets written in the secret language that no one has ever heard of a perfectly reasonable story that was turned into a three-part series on South Park -- such consistently brilliant satire that its existence alone might just prove there is a God.


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Writer and actress Annabelle Gurwitch is the creator and producer of the Fired! project. The documentary Fired! which was featured on The Sundance Channel in November 2007. Her column Fired Up appears regularly in The Nation, and her essays have appeared in publications including the Los Angeles Times, Glamour, Child, Premiere, and Penthouse.

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If there's a god...
Posted by: chomsky on Dec 13, 2007 1:01 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
If there's a god... he is likely to be above all these "meaningless" human concerns...
We are just a small number of beings, living on a tiny planet in the middle of an infinite universe.

God just lighted the fuse of the big bang and watched the explosion.
Except for some basic rules, it's all random.
Evolution dictates what form of life it will be.
And the life forms decisions, plus the environment, will dictate what type of life they will live.

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» RE: If there's a god... Posted by: launcher
» RE: If there's a god... Posted by: Lauren
» RE: If there's a god... Posted by: Jbuuty
» There is a GOD! Posted by: williameon
Sarah Rachel Thomson
Posted by: Tom Degan on Dec 13, 2007 2:09 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Lie Down and Sleep

[« Reply to this comment] [Post a new comment »] [Rate this comment: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5]

» Here's the Link Posted by: Tom Degan
» RE: Here's the Link Posted by: aislinnluv
» RE: Here's the Link Posted by: ArtemInox
» RE: Here's the Link Posted by: wisewebwoman
50 more reasons to break up
Posted by: Lector on Dec 13, 2007 2:38 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
50 more reasons to break up



There is a major scheme that religions have always gone along with; an imposed top down, centrally planned, patterned distribution of wealth according to some conception of "social" justice. This model seems to be very compatible with religion in America, in any Western traditional Christian nation. Whether it is atheism (Stalin) or religion (the Roman Catholic Church), cruelty and violence always follow this major scheme. History has proven religious schemes are failures. This is only one major reason to break the God spell which perfectly decent people have put on themselves and grok the universe on their own, if they have the courage.

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Funny
Posted by: kepstein7777 on Dec 13, 2007 2:49 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
American Gladiators is back?!?!?!? My prayers have been answered.

The thing about LA was funny...You can get the best pizza in NYC. But drive half an hour in any direction, and you'll get skimpy cardboard crap that tastes worse than cardboard, even though the owner and all of the employees have Brooklyn accents. What sort of God would allow that?

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» Garlic source = Brooklyn accent? Posted by: Bic Pentameter
» RE: Funny Posted by: warrenveith
vajayjay???????????
Posted by: organic on Dec 13, 2007 3:47 AM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
aphorisms???
vagina is a word. pussy is a word. cunt is a word. vajayjay? get real for gods sake! and even more real... god is NOT a man. never was, never will be... just in the distorted image of MANkind...
it started out as "our father WHICH art in heaven" suggesting a thing rather than a who, then it became "our father WHO art in heaven" which wonderfully distorts into a vision of an all powerful creative patriarchal figure, rather than a creative force that is gender neutral. I am a (straight) man who objects to the patriarchal view and lean towards the more natural viewpoint of the creative nurturing energy which suggests a more female aspect to it.
humourous but distorted.

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» RE: vajayjay??????????? Posted by: JoshuaLudd
» RE: vajayjay??????????? Posted by: Domokun
» RE: vajayjay??????????? Posted by: MobileSucks
» RE: vajayjay??????????? Posted by: willymack
NOT FUNNY
Posted by: robchapman on Dec 13, 2007 4:00 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
This article is not funny.

It is too in-jokish and trite.

Whiney JAP jokes have been way overdone and are just too BORING.

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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» RE: NOT FUNNY **I AGREE** Posted by: maribelle
» RE: NOT FUNNY is an OPINION Posted by: seaseal
shallow at best
Posted by: goodcaregiver on Dec 13, 2007 4:15 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
This is shallowness at its best.

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disappointed
Posted by: frenchy on Dec 13, 2007 4:25 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I usually find most articles interesting ,deep and open eyes. I was excited to read about reasons to be disappointed about the notion of god (as i am too)and i end up being disappointed about the writer . Half tone gossips , addicted to tv stupid and bla bla that are a waste .I am not surprised she write in all those glossy empty papers . Alternet editors ? , where are you going ?

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» RE: disappointed Posted by: Lauren
» RE: disappointed Posted by: progdem
» RE: disappointed Posted by: graffen48
If G-d existed he wouldn't allow dumb phrases like "break bread"...
Posted by: yellow on Dec 13, 2007 5:13 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I was disappointed with the thread. The American Gladiators link with the hot muscle wimmin was ok.

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Guillermo
Posted by: Willy on Dec 13, 2007 5:26 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
God is a hypothesis that fulfills the criteria of Occam's razor: it explains everything with only three letters. Unfortunately, belief in God often promotes an inability to experience doubt.

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» RE: Guillermo Posted by: anechoic
» RE: Guillermo Posted by: Tatarize
» RE: Guillermo Posted by: Jbuuty
» RE: Guillermo Posted by: Intellect
Creative Force?
Posted by: xi_people on Dec 13, 2007 5:45 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Obviously, to those with the objectivity to see organized religion for what it is, something is very, very wrong.

I do believe in the existence of some sort of creative force, as the world and the universe at large had to be brought into existence somehow.

However, there is no evidence at all that this creative force, or forces, has ever been actively involved in the daily lives of humans. There just isn't.

Something very significant happened at the dawn of time, and I would love to know its exact nature. But belief in a helpful, or wrathful, God will continue to lead mankind astray as long as we exist.

Very sad.

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» RE: Creative Force? Posted by: Lauren
» RE: Creative Force? Posted by: MamaPantz
» RE: Creative Force? Posted by: Lauren
» RE: Creative Force? Posted by: anchoorite
Telling God who and what to be?
Posted by: Sojourner on Dec 13, 2007 5:49 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Does God forgive jewish mothers? (The lower case is meant to indicate that it is not necessary to be Jewish to have had a jewish mother.)

OK. Now, try to imagine God as not having had a jewish mother....A whole new experience, right? If jewish mothers are forgiven, and they are, that leaves only the rich who have to get their camels through the eye of a needle.

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God told me...
Posted by: MyLeftFoot on Dec 13, 2007 5:54 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
to become an Atheist...

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» Me Posted by: thekidde
» I might be an agnostic... Posted by: xconservative
laughing at em
Posted by: davy on Dec 13, 2007 6:05 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Made me laugh. I no longer laugh with things, I laugh at things, so many things. I remember Joni Mitchel's line, "Laughing or crying it's the same release". I choose laughter.

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Insipid or inane-your choice!
Posted by: Col. Jackleg on Dec 13, 2007 6:10 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Trivializing anyone's faith is insulting. Attempting it with insipid and/or inane "comedic" banter exacerbates it to depths unworthy of print.

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» RE: Insipid or inane-your choice! Posted by: wheresarah
» RE: Insipid or inane-your choice! Posted by: ALANHESTER
» RE: People of faith Posted by: mousiedung
» RE: People of faith Posted by: Jbuuty
» That is a fair request Posted by: PaulC
» RE: That is a fair request Posted by: Jbuuty
» Don't be so patronizing Posted by: PaulC
» Thanx Intellect! Posted by: PaulC
Get over yourselves
Posted by: Frank J. on Dec 13, 2007 6:43 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
This was funny, I laughed and I believe in God. So apparently I'm a Christian who hasn't lost my sense of humor.
Take care all and lighten up.

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» RE: Get over yourselves Posted by: VZEQICVA
» RE: Get over yourselves Posted by: Axiom69
» RE: Get over yourselves Posted by: clvngodess
» RE: Get over yourselves Posted by: casimmons23
i broke up with god when i saw the photo of the vietnamese man being shot in the head
Posted by: veggiegrrrl on Dec 13, 2007 6:58 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
from the time i was a very young child (3? 4?), dad (athiest) told me there was no god. we were raised in a god-free home. but as a maturing person with my own mind and ideas, i finally realized what dad meant...that there was no god... when i saw the 1968 photo of the vietnamese man being shot in the head at close range.

i was 6

a few years later, grandparents told how their european cousins died in the nazi death camps...

god has been a joke and a lie to me ever since...

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better listen to Julia Sweeney's "Letting go of God"
Posted by: counterpoint on Dec 13, 2007 6:59 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I just listened to Julia Sweeney's one woman show "Letting go of God" (as a book on tape). Actually, I listened to it three times and then sent it to a Swiss playwright who is considering a German language/culture adaptation. While this little piece was mildly amusing, Julia's gig is pure genius, makes you laugh and cry, and never feels superficial or contrived. Sweeney has real philosophical insight to offer.
Letting Go of God

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He never returns my calls!
Posted by: Forrest on Dec 13, 2007 7:12 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
He never returns my calls!

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Stand up Theodicy
Posted by: s.duplantier on Dec 13, 2007 7:13 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Theodicy is that part of theology that tries to justify "God's" existence and actions.

Does that make theologians theidiots?

This piece is an OK stand up schtick. But the funniest theological comedy routines are those uttered with an absolutely straight face by believers.

Mormons are an easy target because even George Carlin couldn't make up their "theology."

I am an atheist too, so any theology ("god-talk") is like talking about Trafalmador and the Trafalmadorians (by the way, is Trafalmador one of the Mormon planets?)

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Misery
Posted by: Staggo on Dec 13, 2007 7:17 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
"If a God has made this world, I should hate to be that God, for the misery of the world would break my heart."

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» RE: Misery Posted by: chaoslegs
» RE: Misery Posted by: january37
Bureaucratic religion IS destroying the world and it ain't funny
Posted by: thelostsailor on Dec 13, 2007 7:56 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
It would be nice to laugh about it and talk about what's on TV these days, but organized religion is responsible for death and demise around the world. I'm sure your rabbi will forgive you for your comedy, especially since you express guilt and acknowledge that you are connected to the Jewish faith (but you're an atheist, so who cares). If you actually realized how serious the situation is and how much religion has played a part, you'd realize that the Alternet readership isn't interested in your poking fun at an issue that has never been appropriately addressed or given near the attention it deserves.
Where is a serious article outlining how religion has played a huge part in every war, aggressive foreign policy, and in the persecution by people's own government?

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» RE: a seeker Posted by: solrev
Stop bashing religion and attack the fundies instead !
Posted by: maxpayne on Dec 13, 2007 8:32 AM   
Current rating: 2    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
No wonder the Left LOSES every time they expect us nice folks who do no harm to others regardless of our religion to go ATHEIST ONLY ! You people should realize that the fundies are giving religion a bad rap not religion. And now I return you to your LOSERS' choice !

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» If you want rational thought... Posted by: xconservative
» RE: If you want rational thought... Posted by: parmenicleitus
» Thank you Posted by: Jbuuty
» I Guess I'm A 'You People'... Posted by: kanekoa64
Delusional Credulity
Posted by: Ellen Remore on Dec 13, 2007 9:12 AM   
Current rating: 4    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Always good to hear another sensible Voice in the Wilderness. I think one's relationship with "God" is directly related to his/her capacity for self-delusion..."after you die, you will awaken in a paradise of endless bliss, in which you will be reunited with all of your loved ones who have pre-deceased you." Christ, who wouldn't want to buy into that consummate,'fifties sitcom scenario?

I tried, tried for years to become a Believer, and finally, reluctantly, reached the conclusion that organized religion is and always has been more pernicious than not.

Quote from Archibald MacLeish: If God is God, he is not good; if God is good, he is not God.

Makes perfect sense to me. Oh, but in case Archie and I are wrong, and I should eventually come face-to-face with a Supreme Being, I'd tell him he had one whole hell of a lot of fast talking to do.

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» RE: Delusional Credulity Posted by: gopack
Jewish gal..
Posted by: Phenix on Dec 13, 2007 9:31 AM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Ok, if she left out the Jewish gal I could understand her rejection of the bible because I would assume she is Christian but since the Bible is the Christian holy book then of course she would reject a book from another religion. I hope I'm not the only one who noticed that mistake. Anyway how do these people get jobs at The Nation? She put together a chain letter and called it journalism.

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» You go Posted by: thekidde
stormy7
Posted by: STORMY78 on Dec 13, 2007 10:08 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
millions and millions of innocent people on this planet have died because of religion.

man created god because of man's inhumanity to man.

i believe in freedom from religion!

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» RE: stormy7 Posted by: xconservative
» RE: stormy7 Posted by: warriornation
God and whiffle ball
Posted by: audiodef on Dec 13, 2007 10:14 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Hahaha! This is hilarious, witty satire. There's a bit of mangled grammar and homophonic mix-up, but I enjoyed reading this. A lot of conservatives and extremists in many faiths say God is this, God is that, God gonna smack you with a whiffle ball bat. We all have to determine our own relationship with God and leave everyone else alone.

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Simpsons...
Posted by: jroth420 on Dec 13, 2007 10:56 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
How can ace be 1 and 11 at the same time? What kind of god would allow that?

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All this superstitious crap
Posted by: AMERICAN VETERAN on Dec 13, 2007 11:02 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
sounds as if it was invented by disney's imagineers.

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Hmmmm...
Posted by: warriornation on Dec 13, 2007 11:36 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I'm a religious person and I didn't find it particularily offensive, but it just wasn't very funny at all. It was kinda shallow, actually.

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» RE: Hmmmm... Posted by: anchoorite
» RE: Hmmmm... Posted by: january37
If there's so much misery.....
Posted by: Landbaron on Dec 13, 2007 12:05 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Why does the population keep on growing with babies, babies and more babies!!!!! I'll tell you, if it wasn't for sex, people would be committing suicide left and right.

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Spirituality!!
Posted by: mr.E on Dec 13, 2007 12:37 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
NOT religion. they are different

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» RE: Spirituality!! Posted by: parmenicleitus
» RE: Spirituality!! Posted by: Lauren
» RE: Spirituality!! Posted by: parmenicleitus
» RE: Spirituality!! Posted by: Jbuuty
» RE: Spirituality!! Posted by: mr.E
» RE: Spirituality!! Posted by: parmenicleitus
» RE: Spirituality!! Posted by: mr.E
» RE: Spirituality!! Posted by: parmenicleitus
This article is ridiculous
Posted by: stina723 on Dec 13, 2007 1:16 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
This is not journalism. This isn't even pseudo-journalism. This article is crap.

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evidence for "God"
Posted by: anchoorite on Dec 13, 2007 1:46 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
One of the best responses is the following:

"What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof."


So unless the God-people do not show some tangible evidence, I will dismiss their claims without proof.

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» RE: evidence for "God" Posted by: Jbuuty
» RE: evidence for "God" Posted by: anchoorite
» RE: evidence for "God" Posted by: Jbuuty
the Godless
Posted by: anchoorite on Dec 13, 2007 1:52 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
by the way, did you realize that the number of Godless people in the USA is somewhere above 30mil? And increasing?

There's going to be soon a shift in the zeitgeist, just as Christianity took over the Roman gods, the Enlightnment will eventually take over. 1-2 generations and we are done with superstition.

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» RE: the Godless Posted by: parmenicleitus
» RE: the Godless Posted by: anchoorite
» RE: the Goddess Posted by: Lauren
10 reasons?
Posted by: hurricane hugo on Dec 13, 2007 2:02 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Shit, girl - I only needed one!:P

plur

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FREE CHOICE
Posted by: aberdeen on Dec 13, 2007 2:08 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The problem with the shallowness represented by this article is, more than anything else, it represents a profound lack of understanding of the basic concept of free will.

This author would have us believe that there must not be a God based on the bad choices that people make, as if the bad choices of people are somehow, God's fault. Of course, since she probably doesn't believe in sin, either, she doesn't blame the actual people who actually do crimes against humanity.

Atheists often demonstrate their total lack of ability to grasp even the simplest of concepts that any child can easily understand. If we couldn't make bad choices, then there would be no such thing as freedom of choice.

If God didn't allow what this author doesn't like, then there would be no freedom of choice. If God stepped in whenever someone decides to lie to children by telling them God doesn't exist, then there would be no freedom of choice.

We would all be simply mindless robots; we would all like the same flavor of ice cream, vote for the same worthless congress person, believe in the same worthless religion and bow down to the same shallow designerless fairytale posing as legitimate science.

Freedom of choice seems to be beyond the grasp of most modern so-called "progressives", as is likewise, the concept of justice. Since most progressives don't believe God should punish anybody, then there can rationally, be no justice.

All evidence and everything known to human experience indicates design from the top down. There is zero evidence and nothing in any known human experience in the history of civilization, that indicates that anything can appear on it's own, without the aid of a designer and builder, somewhere along the line.

Thus atheism represents the very least scientific viewpoint on our planet, having not one shred of evidence or human experience legitimacy to back up it's totally illogical and patently absurd premise.

Richard Aberdeen

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» RE: FREE CHOICE Posted by: parmenicleitus
» RE: FREE CHOICE Posted by: anchoorite
» Hahahahahaha... Posted by: hurricane hugo
» Free choice is a myth Posted by: PaulC
» RE: FREE CHOICE Good Comment Posted by: anchoorite
» RE: FREE CHOICE Good Comment Posted by: parmenicleitus
» Nicely put Posted by: PaulC
» NO FREE CHOICE FOR YOU... Posted by: kanekoa64
You left out Reason No. 11
Posted by: doodahman on Dec 13, 2007 2:17 PM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
God didn't give me the talent to be even remotely funny, or the brains to realize it.

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Paul Bigioni
Posted by: Bigioni on Dec 13, 2007 2:23 PM   
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Finally an atheist with a sense of humour! All the really big time, fashionable atheists are mad all the time and, just under the surface, they really hate muslims. (That's not helping.) I am a card carrying Roman Catholic, but I have never met the asshole god that the current crop of atheists carry on about. The God I know hates hypocrites and laughs out loud at South Park (at least most of the episodes).

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» RE: Paul Bigioni Posted by: anchoorite
» RE: Paul Bigioni Posted by: Bigioni
» RE: Paul Bigioni Posted by: anchoorite
God dosen't need a representative....
Posted by: eosrk on Dec 13, 2007 3:37 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
...to think for.

Now that's a good one for one dosen't know who God is, for I don't think God has a gender!

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For those whom believe there's no God.....
Posted by: eosrk on Dec 13, 2007 3:39 PM   
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....never worked on the Bering Strait during Alaskan Crab Season!

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I don't have a god complex
Posted by: argyle on Dec 13, 2007 4:15 PM   
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you have a simple god.

So you would believe in god if reality was boring?

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Let's Put Religion Where It Belongs: In the Ancient Mythology Section
Posted by: InsertNameHere on Dec 13, 2007 4:51 PM   
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There's no need anymore for running around believing in sky faeries, we've come up with better ways of explaining things. I think we can look back on the track record of religion and conclude that it's done more harm than good overall.

Let's get to the point where, if you think it's BS, you can stand up and say it, simply because that's what the right of free expression allows. If I offend any religious people, well, I have to say I don't really care. You've been offending me for years.

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» Yes mom! Posted by: PaulC
» whoops! Posted by: Jbuuty
» Ignorance is your Bliss Posted by: riotoustanpdx
IMHo
Posted by: anonymous black writer on Dec 13, 2007 4:56 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The problem seems to be man's conception of him than God himself. Hence, this "is" an issue to take up with people. Then again the author rightfully wrote this article.

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Superstition should always be mocked
Posted by: drblack on Dec 13, 2007 9:20 PM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
It is hard to break up with something that doesn't exist.
America should finally mature and stop being superstition.
Anything which denies reality and empirical evidence is a danger to Freedom and prosperity.
History is loaded with examples of faith based cultures coming into contact with fact based cultures and the faith based cultures ALWAYS end up being conquered by the technologically superior fact based culture.
Freedom depends on facts.....superstition leads to tyranny, oppression and poverty.

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Three points why there's no god
Posted by: counterpoint on Dec 13, 2007 9:27 PM   
Current rating: 3    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Three points:
One: belief in a personal God who keeps tabs, listens to prayers, requires adherence and such is clearly childish, laughable, and absurd. Anybody not brainwashed can figure that out (may I add just one hint: how come such a jealous doesn't wipe out the massive competition (4500+ deities, and counting) and educates those billions of earthlings who bet on the wrong horse, excuse me, god?)

Second, the alternative, a 'Deist' god who got the universe started but has not made his existence known ever since is a superfluous idea because nothing follows from it. Nothing. No ethics, no knowledge, no guidance. Simply nothing.

Third, I have to leave now because my wife is about to serve up a freshly killed Christian baby for dinner that she was lucky enough to snap up from that poorly managed daycare center at St. Agnes.

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Poor taste
Posted by: wolver on Dec 14, 2007 5:29 AM   
Current rating: 1    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
If Annabelle wants to be an atheist that's her business but it makes her look immature and petty to write a column making fun of a God that is accepted by millions of people around the world. Why do Atheist want so badly to make us not believe like they do? My believing in God isn't causing her any harm. Mitt Romney isn't hurting Annabelle by his religious beliefs, why does she try to make him look small for believing in God.

Annabelle's column was poorly written and other than making fun of millions of people's beliefs it had little or no value; it certainly wasn't humorous and was written on about a forth grade level. If Alter Net doesn't want a critique on their writers then they shouldn't allow their writers to personally attack people's beliefs. What goes around comes around.

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» RE: Poor taste Posted by: january37
4. He's not the boss of the military
Posted by: Sushi on Dec 14, 2007 6:51 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
"4. Iran. If there were a God one part of our government wouldn't be opening doors to negotiate with Ahmadinejad, while another fans the flames for military action."

Ahmadinejad is NOT in charge of the military. He can bluster all he wants. The Mullahs run the military and they are not beating the drums (unless of course Iran is attacked by little boy georgie.) Think of Amadinejad as their blundering boy bush pounding his chest and talking big but without the decider-in-chief designation.

" If there were a God..." he would be wise not trifle in the affairs of mortals, sports games, lotteries, elections and which kid gets molested by his followers.

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Clearly Annabelle is a Stitch
Posted by: Ben Sen on Dec 14, 2007 8:29 AM   
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It's the sign of a good heart to bring humor to the current debate about religion. I found myself smiling. My bet is that the day her concepts hit concrete and she finds how bad things can really be, Annabelle will be the one who stops laughing the most and hands out literature for her latest religion at the entry of the nearest Wallmart. Until then, thanks for the yuks, and keep those health insurance premuims paid.

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Super glue?
Posted by: edraven on Dec 14, 2007 9:30 AM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Nice post. I agree with everything.

But, you must do another post about super glue, or I'll have strange dreams about you and super glue for the rest of my life. Please help me out here...

Ed Graham

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my sympathies to the writer...
Posted by: lexicon on Dec 14, 2007 10:31 AM   
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On the Number One reason...

My humble sympathies! Imagine being a woman born into a religion where all the men were ideologically opposed and scripturally forbidden to hunker down and spend some time munching on a bivalve...

As far as the meek inheriting the earth...doesn't that dovetail into the whole "left behind" thing, and the baptist armageddon? The meek will be left behind to inherit the earth, while the badass warriors for God will make the ascent...?

On the szechuan thing...verily, you achieve the doubleplus truthspeak. Here in my area, the szechuan restaurants are legion, but the food is universally, categorically inedible. I'm beginning to thing that these "chefs" aren't emigrating here...they're being DEPORTED here, to prevent them doing any further culinary damage in their home provinces.

However, I feel that there is some hope that you'll come back around into the arms of faith, eventually.

I did.

You see, I was Godless, I was Cast Out. But I came to know God in time...now we have a great relationship!

For some, God is their Co-Pilot.

For me, however, He is much, much more! God is my Co-Dependent, and God is my Co-Defendant!

Merrie Christmas!

lexicon

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» HAHAHAHAHAHA....! Posted by: kanekoa64
Tongue In Cheek
Posted by: penobscotdziekuje@yahoo.com on Dec 14, 2007 2:24 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
There are plenty of folk who wouldn't fit into Milt Romney's Red, White and Blue; I know I will be one of those left out because I don't ascribe to the same religious tenets as him. For this reason I'm saved-but not in the religious sense.
If this venture capitalist became Pope-um, president, he'll probably make us all get down on our knees, recite the Lord's Prayer, and beg for peace.
And God is WAAAAY TOO BUSY for us these days. He'd want to hang out with Joe at the tavern or Alicia at the beauty salon just to get away from us calling out His name when we want something.
He could care less about George Mitchell's report or what's on the boob tube. In fact, He's probably shooting the breeze with St. Peter over how we Yanks are more concered with celebrities and drinking lattes while yapping on our cell phones in public.
So let's give Him a break and try to solve our problems on our own. May God help us, LOL!

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Religion gives GOD a bad name.
Posted by: williameon on Dec 15, 2007 5:31 AM   
Current rating: 5    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
It’s a Positive Creative Energy Flow.

The Creative Spirit is part and parcel of us all!
We are co-creators with God.
This is the work shop we work in.
This Life, this Time and this Place.
We created this horrible mess and we can fix it!
So let’s change, for the better.
Why are we here?
To work out the problems within ourselves,
That keep us separate from the source.
We will all go back to the source for healing and inspiration.
To complete ourselves!
It is something beyond mental projections.
Quiet your mind so the beauty of the Spirit can shine through.
Be in harmony with nature,
The Grand Design.
We are Guardians of this Planet.
Look at the big picture.
the bigger the better.
Imagine!
Become part and parcel of the Creative Symphony!
Here are a few words from the source.

God is Love,
Be Happy!
Give thanks daily for being alive at this time and
Having the opportunity to be part of the preparation for the coming,
Influences of a Spiritual nature that must rule the world.

Peace,
Brotherly Love,
True Compassion,
Generosity,
Helpfulness,
Co-operation and
Forgiveness.
These are the fruits of the Spirit,
Eat of them often.

“I put white light around the world,
To protect Mother Nature,
My best girl.” Ott

“God lives inside of each and every one of us,
So if God is dead,
So are we.” Peg

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» True, Be That... Posted by: kanekoa64
This article is insulting and self-indulgent
Posted by: papibear on Dec 15, 2007 2:30 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Alternet seems to be turning its back on those of us progressives who do believe in God and are devoted followers of Jesus Christ. I understand some of the reasoning for being against religious fundamentalism in relation to the effort on the right to support Dominionism (which I, too, am strongly against), but there are many of us who have faith in God and follow Christian teaching that do not appreciate this frequent barrage of anti-Christian rhetoric, whether it's done with an aim toward humor or not. Particularly disturbing is the level of sadistic glee with which so many hurl their angry invectives. It's akin to the anger picked-on unpopular kids feel years after high school. This past week we saw two perfect examples of how anti-Christian anger can lead to violence and murder.

I'm not against giving atheists and agnostics a political voice, of course; as citizens they're perfectly free to speak their minds on the topic of religion (with which so many appear to be virtually obsessed) or for that matter any other topic, but it would be nice to seem some balance in the discourse on this site.

Not everyone on the left is an atheist or an agnostic. That needs to be remembered. There are quite a few very proud and active progressives who are being needlessly offended by articles such as this and the ensuing anti-Christian diatribes that accompany them in the comments.

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ms
Posted by: bens on Dec 15, 2007 7:38 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
it's a question of either/or.
god and satan CANNOT co-exist. it is like the classic example of the immovable object and the irresistable force: the existence of one negates the other. so let's have god.

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gabrielle
Posted by: chloe08 on Dec 15, 2007 11:49 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Let's not take ourselves too seriously. Nobody's perfect, especially not god. Allow for mediocrity every now and then and excellence will emerge. And if it doesn't, oh well. We're all human.

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Don't send a boy ...
Posted by: BJ Barrington on Dec 16, 2007 1:10 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
I too have a number of reasons for being annoyed with the God or Gods. Of course I never was very happy with their gifts of typhus, small pox, cancer, cholera, and AIDS. But my main beefs are: (1) Why did they send a baby down here to do a man's job, thus guaranteeing that nothing would be done for at least 25 years? Why didn't God come here him/herself? (2) Why didn't his/her son, while he was down here, at least tell us about bacteria and birth control? - That is the least he/she could have done for us. Did he not know? Why not?

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Organized, Commercial Religion Has Become Evil...
Posted by: kanekoa64 on Dec 16, 2007 1:36 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
And that was funny!
American Gladiators is a sign of the apocalypse, I'm sure. Some ancient Mayan text has a glyph about it. They're just not telling us. Yet.
Maybe if people followed the tenants a little more closely in theory OUTSIDE of church and stopped trying to cleanse themselves with a weekly visit to a building full of like minded, frightened followers who think they'll be allowed in the "Afterlife Acres" gated community if they follow the Bible down to the last sentence, things might improve. Maybe if they tried to understand the Bible is not so much "The Word Of God" as it is an expression of the ambition and avarice of Kings, Popes and other religious leaders and communities through centuries of "Civilization" to control and profit from the hopes and fears of it's followers. The Bible has been rewritten countless times, changing whole passages and chapters at times. God was mostly edited out or recast as a cosmic asshole who demands obedience or else, quite some time ago, so you have to really look to find even a hint of the original stories. I'll say that word again, as it sounded vaguely important. STORIES. All cultures have them. Creation stories, Bad Guy stories... DOOMSDAY STORIES!
They were meant as examples. Warnings. Mixed in with actual events. Not history. When and how the gear change happened from revered stories of examples to live your life by to historical tome you kill your unbelieving neighbor for, I don't know. But I do believe if there is a God, he would have NOTHING to do with how people are acting in his/her name at this moment in time. And I do believe in Karma running over your Dogma, should you tend to be a shitty human being. God is not a He or She, it seems, but is the subconscious of "everything". The whole is greater than the sum of the parts. 1+1= 3. Stuff we humans will never grasp completely and catch only glimpses of in things like sunsets and children's laughter. Or star gazing. It's all an ever to brief expression of the magic we are a very small part of.
(What a sap, huh?) "Church" is everyday. Outside. All around you. Treating people as you would have them treat you should never stop, for any reason. How we act during "Christ Mass" should be all year long. Going to a building to celebrate your faith shouldn't be a mandatory attendance or your doomed to hell, or a place of fear mongering prejudice and isolation. It should be to celebrate a common belief that things can turn out fine if we want it too.
Ow! I think I broke my soap box...
Merry F-ing Xmas!

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» Amen! Posted by: PaulC
The peasants NEED gods, deal with it.
Posted by: aka_bozo on Dec 16, 2007 8:41 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
The only thing that will save the environment is when the peasant's imaginary friend tells them "things are really bad and you really need to do something about my planet”.

If the non-delusional people (about god anyway) can't deal with the dumb-asses needing a super-duper imaginary friend, then your political philosophy isn't realistic. So stop complaining about gods and start figuring out how to get them to do your bidding.

Remember, if – right now – there was no concept of “god” it would be spontaneously invented. A majority of the dumb-ass peasants are nearly psychotic. Deal with this REALITY. It canNOT be changed. The fascists have dealt with it. How are your socialist leaders dealing with it?

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Nouveaux-atheists will slowly assess their own god.
Posted by: Don Robertson on Dec 17, 2007 3:25 PM   
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I've considered closely atheism for more than 45 years. I write philosophy. And, for those here who think they will follow the Richard Dawkins' path toward atheism, as apparently does the author, you're headed for a big let down.

Richard is not an atheist except in name. He still believes in a god who might guide his thoughts and his ability to ferret a path for what he might be able to think of, as truth.

Empirical science offers no such path without an animist god to guide these scientific believers for, empirical science is so profoundly small compared to the immense infinity that is reality in every part from the very small to the very large, that the disparity between what empirical science in the hands of scientists is able to hint at, pales into utter insignificance and borders upon the meaninglessness because of this demonstrable insignificance of science's truth prowess.

The author has given us 10 lies that she thinks will lead to her and your comprehension of the truth.

However, there is no logical means that can ever be substantiated to show that by hearing and understanding a lie, we could ever then decipher the truth. Let me explain why. It's all very numeric.

There is only one truth. Just as there is only one reality.

For every bit of that one truth, no matter how many times one might think they can slice it, there are an infinite number of lies, or untruths.

And for every one of those infinitely numbered lies, there are also an infinite number of lies... And so on.

So, for anyone to believe that by hearing a lie, or even a number of lies, that from the information they have let filter into their brains, all of it lies, that they can then ferret out the truth, GOOD LUCK!

And all science and every bit of mathematics is a lie just like that. It is all based upon assumptions about the one truth, reality, that can be demonstrably proved to be untruth.

Not even mathematics can be said to be true, if we rely on truth to relate exactly to reality.

So, all this nouveaux-atheism, is only so much religious tripe. And, understand. It is also all almost as old as the hills.

Don Robertson, The American Philosopher

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If God Was On America's Side
Posted by: left_libertarian on Dec 17, 2007 4:21 PM   
Current rating: Not yet rated    [1 = poor; 5 = excellent]
Why did he give the criminals Bush and Cheney power over us?

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trivialize faith
Posted by: arthurread on Dec 18, 2007 8:30 PM   
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So do you think it is okay to belittle non-believers as talk radio and tv have been doing, making atheists and secular humanists the latest boogey-men?

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Sex does not have to = babies.
Posted by: arthurread on Dec 18, 2007 8:36 PM   
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Despite religious restrictions on family planning and controlling birth, all for the sake of controlling women, sex does not have to mean pregnancy.
I sure do agree there are too many people having too many kids and it is pure selfishness. The media encourages this, with heavy-handed religious pressure on them, by spotlighting couples that have a repulsive # of kids, like the woman who has 17, all home-schooled (of course).Pathetic!

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