News & Politics  
comments_image Comments

DURST: Dole in California

Durst writes, "Well, we've narrowed it down. Either Bob Dole intends to launch an all out attack on California or not. Chances are he's going to ditch our state faster than a Disney employee with a cigarette when old big ears turns the corner. Or then again, maybe he plans on pouring 80 percent of every cent he raises in these last three weeks into it. Yeah, right, and maybe the meat of Madagascar hissing cockroaches will take over as America's favorite taco filling."
 
 
Share
 
 
 
 

Well, we've narrowed it down. Either Bob Dole intends to launch an all out attack on California or not. Chances are he's going to ditch our state faster than a Disney employee with a cigarette when old big ears turns the corner or then again maybe he plans on pouring eighty percent of every cent he raises in these last three weeks into it. Yeah, right, and maybe the meat of Madagascar Hissing cockroaches will take over as America's favorite taco filling.The problem is he can't say out loud that for all he cares California can slide into the ocean and become excellent reef material or he might tend to discourage Republicans to vote for local candidates. It's the feared "Aww, the hell with it" scenario, that Jimmy Carter perfected in 1980.My California based strategy for Bob is simple. He strips down to his skivvies and guest stars on a episode of Baywatch as the irascible economics teacher who tutors Pamela Lee Anderson on supply side economics, which she later uses to save the lifeguard stand with a trickle down sunscreen pyramid scheme. Then the whole crew celebrates by partying down on the beach to a brokered Van Halen reunion.Will Durst is thinking it's worth forty, fifty votes easy.