It's Bush's Birthday, This Year He'll Take Cash

This post, written by Karen Russell, originally appeared on The Huffington Post

Happy Birthday President Bush!

I am on a lot of weird mailing lists. A few days ago, Robert M. "Mike" Duncan - RNC Chairman sent me an e-mail asking me to help President Bush celebrate his 61st Birthday. Mike urged me not to miss this opportunity wish the President a "Happy Birthday" by signing the RNC's eCard.

Mike told me that I could make this an extra special birthday on July 6 and that Mrs. Bush will be presenting the President with this birthday wish from supporters like me. And Mike asked me for cash.

For $61 dollars.

Mike asked me to consider celebrating President Bush's birthday with a gift that the entire Republican Party could share and that my "secure online donation of $61 (or whatever I could afford) will help keep the RNC's preparations for electing more Republicans in the 2007-2008 election cycle on track."

On track? Wow, they are delusional! Haven't they heard that the Democratic candidates have given the GOP a beat-down when it comes to cash, Obama-style?

Then I thought, "what do you buy the man who has everything?" Bush already has Crocs, a flight suit and an optional civil war in Iraq based on cooked-up intell. What more could a man want?

Plus, I bet his friends are going to kick it up a notch this year. It makes me wonder. Is buying Bush a birthday gift like shopping for Tony Soprano?

What do you get the Mob Boss who has everything? It can't be a gag gift, it can't be too cheap and it can't be a share in Pie-o-Mie.

It has to be just right...or else.

Man, that's a lot of pressure! Everyone is sweating over what to get the boss.

You know his school-girl crush tag-team of Condi and Harriet are in a locked-cage shopping match vying for THE stand out gift. Look at me, Georgie B! May the best girl win!

My money is on Condi with her plane tickets to Albania!

Having the US Attorney scandal looming threw Gonzo off his game. He's going to be a no-show. He couldn't "recall" the upcoming birthday and didn't get anything for the President.

Lucky for Gonzo, the gift of "helping President Bush avoid jury duty in a drunken driving case back in 1996" is the gift that apparently keeps giving.

Cheney has some serious bank. He is Halliburton Rich. Move over MTV's "My Super Sweet Sixteen". Cheney going to make it Bush's "My Super Sweet Sixty-One".