is broken from the INSIDE! You must fix it first! "A house that is divided cannot stand" If you cant fix your own system, you wont win against China or Iran! You will lose, and you will lose BIG TIME!

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Maybe you could start by encouraging it in females first?

Feminine women are difficult to find, these days.

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It takes far more control and strength to discuss and collaborate than it does to bomb. How many bullies are known as the smartest kids in class? This crap about being "soft" on crime or war always obscures the fact that diplomacy and rehabilitation are hard work. A real man, woman, commander in chief should have the skills to be the peacemaker such as intelligence, patience, and listening capacity. Can we please let go of the John Wayne, Rambo, Die Hard guys and promote real power in this country?

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I agree with the previous comment - "Femininity"? Before I comment let me preface this with a preemptive. I know this will anger a lot of "Women" but here goes ... I lived in MN for most of my life and NYC for over 8 years and dated I would say not a lot of women but enough to make this general assumption that women have lost their femininity. What happen to their sexuality, curves and softness? It is a shame and I don't know if it was the first or second wave of feminism that wiped that out.

Now I have traveled the world and now live in Japan and I have to say that women in the countries I have experienced have curves, sexuality and well quite frankly are more beautiful and attractive than any American woman, generally speaking.

Sorry to be so blunt, but somebody has to point out the fact that men and women are meant to be different, not closer to one another on the spectrum of masculinity and femininity. You are not meant to compete with men in the form of power, you will lose. But when it comes to sexuality, now there's your power.

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If we can get some of the insecure goons into therapy, maybe we can get some of the Hummers and jacked-up trucks off the road. That would help with the fuel crisis and global warming.

Ann Coulter seems awfully butchy to me--not that there's anything wrong with that. Rumor has it that she's been spotted at Home Depot wearing dark glasses and a mustache...It's okay, Anne. We'll still love and support you no matter what.

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The corporate environment is the ultimate expression of American hypermachismo, at least in the civilian world.

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Methinks Ms Coulter doth protest too much.

Hmm.

Our commander in chief was a cheerleader. In college. *Looks up 'latent homosexual behavior'* *Realizes the twins must have been produced by the 'Michael Jackson' method*

Oh, laura! He never knew ye!

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Bullying is so prevalent in American schools, that many are beginning to adress it directly... this is shocking, because the inertia in the educational administrative apparatus is so complete.

In the schools that I work in, and particularly among Middle school boys, bullying smaller, weaker boys is common. This is never one-on-one it is a group sport that is participated in by the girls as well as the boys.

For many taunting, shunning and name-calling are the methods, Gay and faggot seem to be the most common themes.

I have called students down and had them justify their actions by appeal to James Dobson's Family Network denunciations of homosexuality.

Paradoxically, the boys who are so persecuted are straight, the gay boys seem to know how to deflect such attention from themselves.

It seems to me the problem is not in the social attitudes so much as it is in Americans' willingness to engage in mob bullying,

Bullying is a phenomena that Americans both left and right seem unwilling to address.

Yet its manifestations are everywhere evident.

Robert Chapman
Lansing, NY

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There are several major differences between Don Imus and Anne Coulter.

The first is that Imus was for the most part a good entertainer. Sure - he made off colour cracks about many groups, including student "Jockettes", but it was intended to be in a joking manner. Ann Coulter, on the other hand, comes over as nothing but a mean-spirited bitch. Her comments about the firefighters' wives were just plain nasty, with not a shred of humour or satire in sight.

The second is that Don Imus has actually done quite a lot of charitable work, which is more than can be said for Anne Coulter.

There are many other differences, but two will do for a start.

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I'm glad alternet posted an article on this because there is so little critical discussion about masculinity these days. The article hinted at this but homophobia or heterosexism is a way to maintain unequal gender roles.

Since we live in a patriarchal society, women are devalued and are seen as inferior to men. One way to justify sex inequality, is to make men and women seem very different from each other (biologically, cognitively, etc.). Boys who act feminine are taunted and teased with words like, "sissy," "pussy," "fag," "fairy" etc. And as Suzanne Pharr explained in her book "Homophobia: A Weapon of Sexism," gay men are seen as being feminine/like women and are breaking ranks with masculine solidarity, in the eyes of other men. The existence of gay men threatens the idea that men are very different from (and better than) women. Lesbians are seen as taking on masculinity, which is not rightly theirs. They also suggest to men that women can live independently of them, which is threatening to men.

Thus the roots of heterosexism/homophobia are not in individual men's insecurities or quircks. While the men who are visibly homophobic may very well be insecure about not being masculine (strong, aggressive, powerful) enough, we can't stop there with our analysis. What does it mean that some men are insecure about masculininty and have to taunt feminine men and masculine women to feel better? What does that tell us? It tells us we're living in a sexist society. It all comes back to living in a society in which women and femininity are mocked, devalued, and the targets of violence.

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What do all four of these men have in common? Answer: they all had two daughters and no sons. I wonder if they felt, or feel, somehow less masculine because they couldn't reproduce themselves and had/have a need to wage war to prove that they're "real" men?

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sucks! There is so much to be said on this subject and this is the best alternet can find? Come on! This is a huge issue, and this person chalks it up to "pop psychology"--that's grounds for a deletion--it shows a total unawareness of the deep seeded patriarchal value system that is the root of so many of our problems. Cop out.

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There's nothing "gayer" than a bunch of men, gathered round a campfire drinking beer, all wearing camouflage clothing.

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...with being able to change the channel if something like Anne Coulter appears on it*. Might I suggest those who are most offended buff up their channel changing digits just a bit? Then, for goodness sakes, work on aerobics.

Breathing is important!

That said, it's hard to completely avoid her since I visit this site at least a few times a week, and stumble on more Coulterism coverage. It's apparent that there is a fixation afoot, though it would be wrong of me to out the ed.

*For comparison. see also the well-dwellers, deadites from Army of Darkness, except they're actually fun to watch when playing the old "how many bullets can his double barrel shotgun shoot before he has to reload" drinking game. Hmm, perhaps this offers yet another indictment of American culture and Western Civilization? There are just so very many to choose from. With 300M folks, everybody should have the opportunity to work through their personal oppression(s) with healthy doses of raising the old awarenessing, a sprinkle of community activism for those who feel group therapy is icky, and lot's (and lot's) of self-help books, as well as those advocating the continuity of advocacy of some sort or the other.

Of course, none of this is at all possible--one can not possibly change one's situation in life--without a clear understanding of the problem, and a highly personalized accusation that Society Has Failed To Make You Feel Important Enough.

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Lousy comparison. Maybe that's the problem. All people men and women vary greatly. Even within the same family. Too much emphasis is put on stereotypes. One woman can change a tire the other can't. One man has a hairdresser another man goes to the barber shop. Is this a big deal. Women have not become hypermasculine, they simply are not afraid to be smart and capable. It's called progress. Thanks, ANNA

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Lousy comparison. Maybe that's the problem. All people men and women vary greatly. Even within the same family. Too much emphasis is put on stereotypes. One woman can change a tire the other can't. One man has a hairdresser another man goes to the barber shop. Is this a big deal. Women have not become hypermasculine, they simply are not afraid to be smart and capable. It's called progress. Thanks, ANNA

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this is not about hypermasculinity this is about self hate.

michelangelo was known for his love of male beauty -- just look at david! talk of hypermasculinity!! he was known to LOVE men.

i think this administration, and most white men in power are engaged in one huge circle j*rk. they claim and desire to control others minds by limiting the access to LIFE. LIFE includes the pleasures of the skin. LIFE includes kindness and caring. if one can control anothers access to LIFE, one can control the mind. these guys are NOT homophobic, they are self-hating engagers in the very same things they want to control in others minds.

i do NOT DOUBT there are relationships between w and gonzales ...

you do not have to be gentle to be loving your own sex. you can be big and strong and hypermasculine too. we need to accept all the people all the ways and encourage each one to stop the SELF HATING and the desire to control others minds.

please see:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michelangelo
'Fundamental to Michelangelo's art is his love of male beauty, which attracted him both aesthetically and emotionally.'

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All the wonderful luxuries we enjoy today here in US is thanks to our masculinity to wage war, and acquire what we need and when we need it. Does anyone think we would be the sole superpower in the world had we not started a weapon's race with the communist block? Or to bleed the Soviets in Afghanistan?
For the most part we can dictate to the world the laws of trade and commerce for our benefit. Does anyone thinks that we could be in such a powerful situation if we didn't have over 700 military bases around the world, and air-craft carriers deployed around the globe?
And at the end of the day, it benefits us all in the form of material comforts that we enjoy.

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This will be my last visit...

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For men, the world is a theater for heroism. - William James

Dery confuses and conflates several different things, in particular theatrical heroism with the real thing. Thus, he gets sidetracked by buzzwords such as "hypermasculinity" and "femiphobia". Perhaps the latter result when a culture is over-feminized, but I don't think Dery is capable of considering such an idea.

Coulter gets a pass not because of her subject matter but because of her sex. In short, men are held accountable whereas women aren't. That's the real double standard. We all know practically any nutty thing is likely to come out of a given woman's mouth at any given time. We don't expect a woman to think before she speaks, though we do expect a man to do so. If "the demonization of the feminine" was the operative principle, as Dery thinks, Coulter's name-calling would have elicited the tarred/feathered response which Imus got. But it didn't, so he's just wrong.

If "homophobic innuendo" works it's because it works especially well with women, who surveys have shown would rather date/marry a convicted murderer than a cross-dresser -- by a four-to-one ratio. A gay man is of no use to your average woman because she has no power over him. Gay men are abhorent to the larger, feminized society not because of their sexuality but because they don't do what men are basically supposed to do: support women and children. If too many men defect, the whole system collapses because then there's no one left to do the unpleasant work that gets done only because men do it.

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First of all, two pages hardly is room enough to make an indentation on an extremely important topic. Fortunately, that leaves us with plenty of room to flesh out the argument. It seems to me the biggest societal problems that we face are the one's that are based essentially on superstition. Most of us are quite aware that racial differences are not biological, but cultural. The "battle of the sexes," likewise, is a cultural issue. And let's not forget religious differences. To address these issues, you have to start here. A lot of folks simply refuse to believe that they aren't different at all from those they despise.

Male/female is not a dichotomy but a continuum. Ask someone who was born intersexed. As humans, we range from the biggest burliest of men to the daintiest, most petite of women and, guess what, vice versa, with big, strong women and dainty, petite men. Since our culture, and by culture I refer to the decisions and actions of everyone that came before us and everyone that is now among us, has somehow dictated that men and women have to fit certain specifications to be deemed normal, those of us don't fit those norms become targets for ridicule from people who are flummoxed by the very existence of difference. Many of the targets then find other people that are freakier than they are to deflect the attention to. The plot is foiled, however, when the freaks stand up and own their freakiness with a confidence that the insult-hurlers never had, and now all of a sudden the hyper-macho patriarchy pushers are exposed for what they really are.

I watch a lot of NBA basketball, and the trend over the past few years has been toward cooperative team play and away from the hyper-macho individual star-dominated performances of the Michael Jordan/Charles Barkley era. But still, when a prime-time player like Dirk Nowitski struggles to establish a presence on the court, his masculinity is called into question. The same player who, along with his teammates in a team-game, helped dispatch the always challenging San Antonio Spurs (another team that wins with cooperation and not unilateral star power) just last year now doesn't have the meddle or the, well, balls to step up in the clutch.

Cooperation and teamwork are not highly valued in an Alpha-Dog culture where strong, muscular and loud leaders demand subservience from the minions in order to achieve half-thought-out goals. Look at Sarkozky in France. His aims are to toughen his country up and make them competitive in the the US/UK/China/India business model, where the almighty Dollar/Pound/Franc/Rupi/Euro takes precednce over living life to the fullest and relishing the blessings of the every-day. When you bully people into producing, you chip away at their souls. When you engage people and get their input, the collective value increases exponentially whether or not you can place a dollar value on it.

What a lot of hyper-masculine men don't really understand is that by abhorring everything that is feminine, they actually weaken themselves substantially. For a macho-man's ego, eradicating the female means protecting oneself against a woman having a better idea or being more capable of doing something, thus rendering said macho-man into wussy oblivion. But if the idea is truly better, if the individual more capable, wouldn't cooperating to make that idea work be the "manliest" course of action? Working for the betterment of others, however, runs counter to hyper-man's sheer existence, as he ascended to power by trampling those he deemed weak and inferior, so why would he want to help them? In his view, he would weaken himself by doing so, even though he's busy weakening himself anyway by shutting out the non-manly, adhering strictly to a code that has borne chaos and destruction, from genocide to that little kid getting picked on everyday at school by the Ann Coulter's of the world.

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Display yourself? That's common to humans everywhere. Our problem is that it's commercialized by a fashion industry whose momentum is profit and whose influence is ubiquitous.

At first I thought that the availability of pornography these days might contribute to sexual health. But since it is just a sex show, and since love is not for exhibition nor about performances, I hope that youngsters are not getting the wrong idea. But I am likely wrong about that.

"Looking good" matters more than being good--at whatever. That's acceptable for adolescents. It is a measure of our cultural immaturity that it remains the rule even to the mortician's profit.

Bush is a brat whose growth got stunted somewhere back in adolescence. It's a pity that American voters cannot see that he's a shrunked version of what a man might be. But since we see ourselves in him and others like him, we shall continue to elect 'boys' instead of men. I like kids. But not running the country.

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You'ed think with all these balls up in here we would have whomped Iraq four years ago. Notice that few of these macho men are in the militay. Notice that there was no big surge of men to join up after 911. Pat Tilman and his brother are the exceptions. Yes upper class white men do feel they have lost thier balls so the only way they can prove they havent' is to talk tough and send others to fight for them. No wonder they fear the word puzzy. I perfer the word coward.

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When Bush sat in that classroom and did nothing while the country was suffering "the worst terror attacks in history" it becomes painfully obvious that he and his devout followers are not very masculine at all. They're cowards in fact. Now when you take that fact into account, it becomes even more obvious the true reasons they are so homophobic. It's because they cant lie to themselves. They know they are the ones who are weak inside and therefore must outwardly project a hypermasculine image to compensate.

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It's good to see articles like this that attempt to introduce the younger generation to good old fashioned feminism.

Feminism is about equality of the sexes and the end of patriarchal society. We've gotten closer to equality, but just a little. Patriarchy is alive and well.

Many things feminine in our society are ridiculed. Movies with women's themes are derisively called "Chick Flicks" by both men and women. Why is it that men can't sit through Steel Magnolias but women are supposed to think Diehard is just dandy? I like to call male-themed movies "Dick Flicks." Hollywood churns out movies with male leads all the time, but rarely is a woman doing anything other than being the girlfriend or mom of the starring male.

Isn't it interesting when you call a male a pejorative term like "son-of-a-bitch" that it stems from degrading a female?

We allow our girls to be tomboys but we don't allow our boys to be sissies because the worst thing one can be is a girl.

Now, because men don't want to feminize themselves in any way, we have women who work fulltime, keep house and take care of the kids while many men refuse to help with the housework or kids and simply work a job like they've always done. Women--that's your own fault for not making your husbands do half!

Personally, I knew feminism was dead when calling women over 18 "girls" became common-place again, and boob jobs were seen as something not only acceptable to have, but necessary to get a man!!!!!!!

Of course the end-all of women's rights is now forseeable with Roe v. Wade hanging in the balance. I never thought I would ever again in my lifetime see such an assault against women.

I hope Alternet keeps these kinds of articles coming so that the younger generation will stop taking women for granted and wake up.

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