Tobias & Bush, Torturing Africa With Abstinence

"Some problems are like having a moose in the room; the more one tries to ignore it, the more of an issue it becomes. Thus, the best thing to do is to confront it—to put the moose on the table—and look for a solution in dealing with it effectively. This is just one of the lessons on leadership Tobias learned during his tenure at AT&T, at Eli Lilly and Company, and as a member of various corporate boards. In Put the Moose on the Table, he [ Randall Tobias ] recounts his journey through life and the vicissitudes of corporate leadership in late 20th century America" - From a review of Tobias' moose book.

I guess Randall Tobias didn't figure out how to put HIS moose on the table , eh ?

Ding ding ding !! OK, Mr. Tobias, you win the most egregiously hypocritical politician of the year award, unless you're unseated in the next few days by some even more excessive display to catch the media spotlight as the Washington DC call girl sex / prostitution ring scandal washes across DC like the great wave of the Boston Molasses Disaster, ensnaring politicians in a gooey mess of their own making. Aah... how sweet it is, cloyingly so even.

In terms of raw bang for the buck, there's nothing better than a good'n juicy DC sex scandal, with fluids oozing out all the orifices...

Apparently, for just-resigned US Deputy Secretary of State Randall Tobias the "moose" was sex, and his hypocrisy out on display for all to see couldn't have been any more blaring ; as Think Progress details, Tobias "oversaw a controversial policy advocated by the religious right that required any US-based group receiving anti-AIDS funds to take an anti-prostitution “loyalty oath."

The Indiana University Randall L. Tobias Center For Leadership Excellence might just want to change its name soon before it winds up on the Daily Show, and if anyone has ever heard the call of a lovesick moose, well...

Tobias' early branding of the hookergate scandal, by way of his oddly titled "Moose On The Table" book may give rise to entirely new terms referring to sex and sex acts:

Hey, honey, ya' wanna put da' moose on the table ?

Yo, y'all... my moose be on the table today... watchout !

Or, the more mundane:

You better put the moose on the table, I'm not gonna get pregnant. Not by you, anyway.

From miles away, you can see the jokes and talking points soon to make the rounds on TV and radio talk show circuits, such as the obvious :

"Did he or didn't he use a condom when he didn't have sex ?"

But, there's another story to be told about the Tobias resignation...

Since the early days of the Bush Administration, Randall Tobias played a significant role infusing Christian right ideology into US international programs providing sexual education, HIV/AIDS prevention, and family planning: the body count, in the end, may be considerable. But don't worry, the dead won't be American.