Australian court: If you suck, you must f**k

A court in South Australia has ruled that a man can't rape and have consensual sex with a woman in same sexual encounter.

In a 2-1 decision, the Court of Criminal Appeal erased the criminal record of a man who twice had sex with a woman in his car.

A jury had found him guilty of having forced intercourse but ruled an earlier act of fellatio was consensual.

The appeals court, however, ruled last week that the verdict was "illogical" and "unacceptable" and quashed his conviction.

Thankfully, folks seem to get that this kind of "logic" is unacceptable.

Yesterday, the State Government vowed to table new laws, wherein sex would become rape as soon as consent was withdrawn - even if the act had already begun.

Opposition legal affairs spokeswoman Isobel Redmond warned the new laws may interfere in people's private lives.

"When reading the legislation, one gets the feeling even married couples will need to sign a contract before they have sex," she said.

"You reach a point where you're trying to legislate for every human behaviour.

But I guess now Australia and Maryland have something in common. And not in a good way.