Updated: Conservative star turns out to be star of gay porn as well [VIDEO]

Joe. My. God., with a little biographical background on Cpl. Matt Sanchez, a third-year Columbia University student and USMC reservist who has been making a name for himself on the right-wing circuit and was recently honored at the CPAC where his BFF Coulter called John Edwards a faggot:

Now, if you're like me, you might think, "Hmm, 36 years old and he's a junior in college and only a corporal in the Marines?" Odd, but not totally implausible. But Sanchez' face tinkled a few gay bells out there in fairyland, and last night I began to get emails letting me know that his rather late appearance on the Ivy League scene was because Sanchez has had a lengthy career in gay porn, working under the names Rod Majors and Pierre LaBranche, starring in such art films as Jawbreaker, Donkey Dick, and Glory Holes Of Fame 3, where his "11-inch uncut monster cock" earned him a devoted following.

Now, porn stars are entitled to enter the miliary, although Sanchez obviously had to do it on the downlow. Porn stars are entitled to have a right-wing ideology, even though the very people he supports would love to see gay porn stars strung up by the nuts. (Wait, have I seen that movie?) But, Oh.The.Irony. of Sanchez appearing with Bill O'Reilly who only a couple of days [ago] went apoplectic over San Francisco's "Colt Studio Day." And OH, the irony of Ann "Faggot" Coulter happily posing with Sanchez for a photo-op. The right-wing has gobbled this porn hunk up with a spoon, never knowing that tons of men have gobbled up his monster cock ON FILM.

Seriously, can anyone think of anything more hilarious than a Conservative Political Action Conference that has Ann Coulter calling a Democratic presidential contender a faggot and a gay porn star/escort being feted? Oh--and here's the most awesome part: The Republican presidential contender (Romney) who introduced Coulter has been running away from his gay rights record. Meanwhile, the Democratic presidential contender (Edwards) supports the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell, which would have allowed the celebrated soldier to serve openly in the military--and then his background wouldn't have bitten his new conservative friends in their collective butt, because they never would have associated with an openly gay soldier in the first place, which makes their presumably unwitting association with a gay porn star and escort (for the second time!) all the more bloody delightful.

Brilliant stuff. Truly.