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DURST: Overhauling Baseball

Durst writes: "Bud Selig, the owner of the Milwaukee Brewers and self appointed Grand Poobah of Major League Baseball, who is to subtlety what Oliver Stone is to screwball comedy has rationalized his proposed radical realignment of the sport by citing polls of casual fans who said it didn't matter if teams switched leagues or employed the designated hitter rule across the board."
 
 
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Bud Selig, the owner of the Milwaukee Brewers and self appointed Grand Poobah of Major League Baseball, who is to subtlety what Oliver Stone is to screwball comedy has rationalized his proposed radical realignment of the sport by citing polls of casual fans who said it didn't matter if teams switched leagues or employed the designated hitter rule across the board. They didn't care! Of course, they didn't care. That's like non Catholics allowing they might go to more masses if the priests got rid of all that kneeling jazz. "And cool it with the wine and the wafer deal already. Who needs it?" No. You ask Catholics about changes in the liturgy, and you ask baseball zealots about overhauling the National Pastime, and in both cases you ignore them like worthless drums of used crankcase oil and don't do a single thing. Besides, what does "casual fan" mean? A guy who can identify different beer ads? Ask a "casual fan" and they'll tell you six outfielders, topless vendors and plastic explosive seamed baseballs with randomly radio controlled detonators wouldn't hurt either. Ask a casual fan and they won't tell you but they know: Bud Selig is the kind of guy who would sell sponsors a piece of "Swan Lake", and serve turkey legs at intermission.Will Durst is not a casual fan.