Delta Dawn, What's That Frat Pin You Have On?

Forget scrotum slander -- the Times has once again raised the puke-worthy bar of liberal disbelief by exposing a bitter new chapter of Animal House -- Big Cat Division.

The story takes place in Indiana, at De Pauw University, a Greek mainstay. One of the nation's oldest sororities -- Delta Zeta --  expelled virtually their entire chapter for not being fuckable enough.

"Fuckable" is the key word here, although it's been euphemistically described as an "image problem" defined by weight gain, brown skin, and inattention to fashion trends. Yeah, that's the "nice" way they're putting it! The studious math and science nerds of De Pauw's DZ house failed the "sorostitute" exam, and were sent their notices -- evicted a week before finals.

The women who were canned were either fat -- exact pounds not released! --  or "ugly," non-white, or some shocking combination of the three. But the main problem was that they didn't put out. The national DZ leadership sent down a team of slender good-to-go blonds to take over recruiting, and weed out the non-compliant.

My "fair and toothy" photo below is -- or was, pre-meltdown -- the main illustration from DZ's home page. I feel sorry for the models. They might all be perfectly nice dykes who've been sold to DZ's PR Team for Aryan Sisterhood.

The second photo are some of the expelled DZ crew who are thankfully not keeping their mouths shut, despite threats from the National Office that they will be stripped -- stripped! -- of their alumna status if they make a peep.

You can read what some of the expelled "sisters" have to say for themselves, what some of their adoring  boyfriends have added, plus plenty of indignant and disgusted alumni.

You can also read the campus newspaper, which seems determined to parse the insult by hairs. For instance, according to a recent survey, a slight majority of students say they "understand" why DZ's leaders had to do what they did. Students are already discussing who will be the most undesirable sorority, now that the "Delta Dogs" have been put to sleep.

The Greek system is founded on discriminations of race, class, and family -- sugar-coated over the years as a "way to make friends." They prey on every freshman's fear of being lonely and miserable. But popularity contests on this scale are ingrained with their own special kind of misery. "A place to groom future bigots and desperate housewives" is one of the unhappy possibilities.

DZ, like every other traditional Greek, is notorious for closing "problem" chapters (one house was disowned after they recruited a Jewish girl), and keeping segregation alive long after George Wallace began to seem quaint. Putting De Pauw into receivership is just another pearl in their string game.

But there's another angle besides Greek-style eugenics. It's the heightened heterosexual regime of trophy wife assembly. These young women must learn to project the promise of Virgin WASP Money while getting sloshed and performing merit-based blow jobs on a calculated ladder of potential husbands, i.e., frat-brats. Plenty of the De Pauw "undesirables" had boyfriends and sex lives -- they just weren't "partying" hard enough. Yep, their booze and tease stats were too low to qualify.

Sure, there's another view, too. It goes like this:

DZ's scandal in Indiana is an example is a sorority gone awry, a blemish on a farm system for the Wholesome Young Ladies of Tomorrow, doing good deeds (service!) and striving for outstanding leadership. Of course, a girl should try and look her best, but it's all about sisterhood and rolling up your charm bracelets to make it work.