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Top 10 People Most Affected by Election 2006

Rummy gets the boot and Paris Hilton gets richer.
 
 
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The following is author Nomi Prins's list of 10 people most affected by election 2006:

1) Rummy, a.k.a. the Donald.

It's tough to take the fall for the damage you caused, but somebody has to be responsible for your actions -- it might as well be you. Since the Iraq War began, which Bush & Co. still consider a positive endeavor, despite all contrary evidence, more soldiers have been killed than people in the WTC attacks, not to mention tens of thousands of Iraqi's. You can run, but you can't hide. So, it might be too late for the man that CNN's Jack Cafferty called a 'war criminal' to hide from a possible surge of investigations.

2) Paris Hilton.

How did Bush help Paris? Well, the Bush Tax cuts for the wealthy screwed up the US economy in a bad way. Separately, the GOP voted down every minimum wage increase, while, Congress voted itself 8 raises, but who's counting? This continued until the last time the minimum wage came to the Floor this fall, during which the soon-to-be fired GOP said they'd consider approving an increase IF the Dems would repeal the estate tax -- a tax that would allow Paris (and Tori Spelling) to keep more of her father's fortune, after any inheritance kicks in. Hopefully, the estate tax repeal goes the way of her ex's.

3) Kevin Federline.

Who knew Britney Spears had more foresight than Bush? Britney kicked K-Fed's butt out for good, filing for divorce on Election Day. This gave Bush the confidence to kick Rummy out, which was actually the biggest news of Election Day -- the Dems winning Congress was second. Kevin Federline might find his future prospects as bright as Rummy does (see #1 above.) Britney on the other hand, showed that proper foresight (like creating an airtight pre-nup) is a skill that Bush lacked with the Iraq War and all of his other decisions.

4) Jeffery Kindler, CEO of Pfizer

Why does the government keep giving so much money to drug companies? Jeffrey Kindler, CEO of Pfizer was hoping to hit the lottery. His predecessor, Hank McKinnell, made it to Forbes richest lists. But, Jeff may not do so well. The Dems will hopefully take a good look at the dumbest Drug Bill EVER (that would be Medicare Part D -- D for Dumbest Drug Bill EVER), and ask -- why give so much money to drug companies (besides the fact that it's a way to steal from Medicare patients to give to CEOs?) And why didn't we retain the ability to negotiate drug prices, as opposed to say, letting drug companies charge whatever the hell they wanted? No good answer = less money for Jeff.

5) Nancy Pelosi's fashion consultant.

Okay, there is no such person, that's clear given her clothing style. But, here's the thing; Ms. Pelosi is going to be getting more photo-ops as the first female Speaker of the House than Jennifer Anniston. Maybe not on the front of In Touch Magazine, but still, a lot of them. The right may consider her a staunch liberal, but the truth is, they're quite a few centrist positions in her closet. And all closets need a thorough cleansing and editing now and then. And everything's better with a good wardrobe behind you.

6) Dave Lesar, CEO of Halliburton.

Between Cheney in the Whitehouse and troops in Iraq, Halliburton stock had a great ride during the past few years. Lesar banked around $100 million since the war began. Halliburton's contracting arm, KBR, booked $16 billion in Iraq contracts. If Representative Henry Waxman, (D-CA) becomes chair of the Reform committee, he's gonna rip into them big-time. Meanwhile, Dick Cheney, whose Halliburton options increased 3,281% (no, that's not a typo) since 2004, might need some better investments. He evaded disclosing whatever he was doing as head of the Energy Policy Task Force, yet as per Rummy -- you can run, but you can't hide.

7) Quail.

Dick Cheney may need to lighten up on those hunting and leisure trips (ok, he took a vacation day on Election Day -- but it's hard to fit everything into your schedule, and the idea of the election, or democracy, or voters stressed him out, it's understandable). With Bush in lame duck territory, Cheney may find enough fowl at the White House to keep him occupied. Or find himself wishing for the good ole days when he could shoot his friends, instead of dealing with Waxman investigations. All of which is good news for the quail community, and Cheney's friends.

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