Success = eating disorders?

(Banging head on desk.)

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This is a good piece about a bad book. Unempathetic men write crazy dumb books about bashed women. It's just another way of bashing women which only makes our woman-bashing society worse on women. The Taliban have their way of bashing women and the USA has its way of bashing women. If all of us of whatever sex would stop bashing women, then both women and men would be able to create a decent society without Bushie freaks and other narrowminded fools.

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Show me references, please. Especially those that back up the stated numbers.

The US, for example, leads the world in drugging our children for hundreds of different "disorders". But are the majority of those kids really sick, or is it just easier for a teacher to manage a drugged out zombie than a bright, active "problem child"?

Unfortunately, we have thousands of psychologists and sociologists who want to be the first to diagnose a major, previously hidden "problem" and slap a label on it, making their academic bones in the process. Once a convenient label exists, it's easier to find more and more people whom, to a greater or lesser degree, fit the pattern.

Then, with a huge body of potential patients, you have thousands more all invested in finding and producing "treatments" for those issues. And just let a major pharma company jump on the bandwagon.

Back when I was in school we too had tests and SATs and peer pressure and problems with school and parents. But were they, like those today, just problems we needed to deal with, or were we all suffering from acute-acheivement-anxiety-syndrome... and didn't even know it?

Excuse me, I need to go take a pill now...

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I think all women belong in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant, making me my apple pie...

JUST KIDDING...I like a fiery woman more fun to conquer and make my very own..

Gotcha again...I really enjoy hyper-smart chicks

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A bunch of alpha females to go with the alpha males...who will then breed little alpha-mutants.

When the do the sonogram, you can hear the little fella bragging about how he learned to walk and talk while still in the womb, and complaining that the doctor who will be delivering him attended an inferior medical school.

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THAT'S the way the rich nonprofits and their rich benefactors like it! THAT'S how Alternet and the other fakeLeft nonprofits can continue to get those grant checks from the large nonprofits (who get funded by the upper class and plutocrats and megacorporations). Just keep the focus of american politics on gender and race and homosexuals, and that way the topic of raising taxes on the upper class and getting universal healthcare won't come up too often....

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In high school, my best friend was an Alpha, who couldn't bear a grade under 98. She was beautiful and kind, I might add, so it's not surprising she was head cheerleader and homecoming queen as well as valedictorian.

But in the midst of all this, she got pregnant by her long-time boyfriend (also a star) and her parents insisted she get an abortion. She went off to a top college in the fall and began to fall apart. Her mother's sorority rejected her (news about the abortion, I suspect). She got a BS and an RN but confessed to me that her mentor was disappointed in her performance. She married disasterously, became addicted to alcohol and prescription drugs, lost custody of her child. She married twice more and killed herself at 43. Her mother said it was a heart attack.

I still grieve for my friend, and I blame the church where she was a youth leader and her parents for placing such enormous expectations on her. We were taught that good girls didn't need birth control, so passion was a trap for her, as I suspect it is for all these Alpha girls. We ought to ask ourselves if we ask too much of them.

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"...no longer slowed down by empathy or emotionality, and are now free to pursue success with rabid dog competitiveness."

This is an improvement? No - it's just more masculinist-capitalist ideology - lack of empathy and competitiveness are already rampant and at the root of society's - and the planet's problems.

What we don't need is another batch of reptiles at the helm.

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Oh, but don't worry, that's only for women.

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We kept hearing about how girls are behind boys, and this was bad. Now when the girls are ahead, we talk about their emotional suffering. (Of course plenty of girls are still behind...but you see my point. Whatever happens to the girls, we find something bad. Meanwhile...boys go to jail and fall behind and nobody gives a damn.)

Look, a man who wants to succeed has to spend 60-hour workweeks (longer in many cases) sucking up to despicable, egomanaiacaly jerks. High school? Oh yeah, do lots of extracurricular activities and please your peers so you get elected head of this and that. The whole fucking system's rotten, and now that women are able to get to the top, they're seeing just how bad it is.

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I graduated high school in 1962 and went to a large urban university in the Northeastern US with lots of scholarship students from the Boston/NYC corridor. Many of my fellow women students were exactly as you describe here, even down to the eating disorders. We studied hard, built careers, Dressed For Success in the 80's and some eventually married and had children, some of which were Alpha Girls.

Then, as now, if a young American woman seeks material success there are two main ways to achieve it -- become an Alpha Girl and emulate male success-seeking behavior or cultivate one's appearance plus personality and seek to marry an Alpha male. The alternative is to seek other-than-material success, which occasionally results in writing a wildly successful book or producing something else that nets material success as a by-product.

While Alpha Girls might have a hard row to hoe, there are hordes of women trying to live with an abusive husband and three or four kids on 25K a year who would trade places any day.

Whether Alpha, Beta, or Gamma, the key is balance. If you're balanced enough to survive your initial forays into the world, wisdoom will follow. And if you have wisdom at 18, bless you for your good fortune.

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We already see the sparks flying with Condi Rice in charge. Now imagine an entire generation of US women up against the flood of the third world and the chaos of global politics.

Prizes, league tables, salary tables, googling, status-seeking titles, etc. etc. is a vortex that will just become more insane. I already know many friends who are caught in this. They have upteem degrees, publications, dollars, 'perfect' families, houses, cars, and the most rancid views you could imagine about the world around them that lets them down, populated by 'losers', whining minorities, lameos, burn-outs, therapy freeks, and the ever-dwindling capabilities of men. I hate to say it, but I think they are becoming fascists? Fema-fascists.

It is a poisonous creed because it seriously divides people, and places their value purely in objective indicators: income, material goods owned, achievements, where they live etc.

What is also interesting is what freeks these women start to become. At first, when they are young, they can look fit and fashionable. But as their feet peddle furiously under the water as they juggle all these achievements, they start to look more frazzled. That is when the nexus of middle age meets helmet hair, shoulder pads, gravely voices, sterile human relations, ever-sadder husbands or 'partners', and a whipping wind of shallow soullessness blasting through their monster homes.

God help the world we are creating with these women.

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Good grief.

*sigh*

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Oh well, ... another book to sell ...

Goddess! How I wish the AlterNet editors would either wise up, or give up on what they imagine Women's Issues to be.

And we wonder why mainstream Dems have retreated from 'Choice' and pretty much all other Women Issues that aren't also Children Issues.

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Why is female success automatically associated with various disorders? Where do you get your info? Are successful men just naturally drunks, with anger management problems? I don't think so. You're not at all convincing and your theory has no substance. The numbers of women in high places is growing and that frightens alot of people. I don't know why. I don't much care. Deal with it. Thank you, ANNA

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It's so charming when Alternet writers take an offhanded swipe at men despite having no particular reason to do so. Ya know, like they've done in this fluff piece dressed up as journalism.

"It's true, my generation of women has broken records and taken names. Women now outnumber men on college campuses by at least 2 million. A recent report by the National Council for Education Statistics concludes that girls consistently outperform boys on reading and writing tests, and are more likely to have taken algebra II, AP/honors biology, and chemistry than their male peers. They are also more likely to participate in music, performing arts, belong to academic clubs, work on the school newspaper or yearbook, or hold office in student government."

We get it already - us men are nothing more than slack-jawed, blue collar fodder for the feminist changing of the guard. It would be refreshing to read an article that manages to discuss issues that confront "successful" women (i.e. those taking AP calculus, others need not consider themselves successful) and not denigrate men, many of whom are falling through the cracks, in the process. And all you "dummies" out there who haven't freed yourselves of "emotionality or empathy" and don't work on the school newspaper - just WTF is your major problem? Good show Alternet. Another piece of E-trash.

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Fact is, all the "disorders' have always been with us, they just weren't so well documented. Back in the "dark ages", women used to have their ribs removed to maintain a certain body image, and people openly ridiculed overweight women. Women were "nervous" or "crazy" and had all the insecurities and problems that we have now. Success comes with a price, but so does non-success. Believe me, it's a whole lot easier to deal with emotional problems and health problems when you have money in the bank. At least with money in the bank, you can go to the doctor, or you don't have to worry about whether or not they're going to turn your power off before the next tiny little minimum wage paycheck gets laid in your hand. What it gets down to is whether or not you have the fortitude within yourself to suck up your problems and face what's hitting you or cave. Everybody's gonna hit the wall many times in their lives - money, class, looks, religion, position, or fame have nothing to do with it. That's just life.

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when i went to spain for the first time i remember seeing a bunch of people sitting in a courtyard, hanging out. it struck me profoundly that they were just sitting. just sitting! it was totally acceptable to just sit. they weren't playing with their cell phones or waiting for someone or hurrying from this place to that. this might have been a projection on my part, but no one seemed to be obsessed with how they were going to become famous or someday truly realize the super-special recognition they felt they so mystically deserved. i think this affected me so much because it seemed so different from the vibe i felt back home on my ivy campus, where so many people seemed so utterly driven that they couldn't see that maybe, in buddhist terms, the path IS the goal. thank you for this truly sane article which posits a very necessary question for our very driven country: where are we really driving ourselves, and why?

one issue i had with this article is that it mentions that females are twice as likely to develop anxiety disorders as males. this isn't entirely true, from what i know. it's likely the case that males suffer just as much from anxiety disorders but are less willing to report them and seek help for them because of stereotypically male standards of fear being effeminate. with this in mind i wouldn't be so quick as to limit this phenomenon of self-destructive and delusional ambition to women alone.

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Oh, okay. So women are now unhappy because they overachieve. Sweet Jesus, please give us a break from this nonsense. I expect that different women will react individually to success and its stresses - just as men do. The premise of this article is insulting to all the well adjusted women out there who are mature enough to understand that life ain't just a bed of roses. It would be very refreshing to never, ever have to deal with another one of these articles that whine about a small group of women - ivy league educated young women. Attention Alternet editors: there are other groups of women out there that are important. No, not just mothers either...

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The author states, "Here's the big "but": 7 million American girls and women have eating disorders. Panic disorders and depression are twice as likely in women and 75 percent of autoimmune illnesses affect women. This is not progress without pain."

I challenge the "obvious" conclusion that the author draws, that these problems are manifestations of recent female success.

These stats are no different than they were in the 50's, 60's, or 70's.

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Girls don't do well in math versus girls who kick ass in math. Cheerleaders versus geek girls. Fat girls versus skinny girls. Has anyone ever bothered to ask this new generation of young women what THEY want, what makes them happy with themselves? And if we do have a generation of successful young women, should we be downgrading them or sending out these "warnings" that they'll be unhappy (unless they're popping out mounds of kids - see the article on the "Quiverfull" movement).

Moreover, where the hell are the young girls of colour? Books like this always talk about caucasian women and leave the rest of us wondering "what about us?" By the way, I'm thinking about two rather ambitious, successful women of colour - Condoleeza Rice and Oprah Winfrey - I don't like Rice's politics and I'm not too crazy about Winfrey's show or magazine, but I do admire them for what they've accomplished. Oh wait people, neither are MARRIED. Both are dedicated CAREER women - and they've just GOT to be miserable without a man. But I guess when we're talking about women of colour, our lives don't matter so who cares what we do for good or ill?

The last time I checked feminism and all that a generation of older women fought for (and those of us who've taken up the mantel are still fighting for) was/is about CHOICE. How do we as thinking, rational human beings wish to conduct our lives. It seems that everyone else still thinks they know what's best (or not best) for women.

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Martin's argument would be more helpful had she not confined the critique to one gender. We do have a problem here with the diminishment of the human qualities of empathy and emotionality. But as I see it, this crisis stems from the squeezing of Humanity from the human species, primarily because it falls outside of emerging engineering standards. Her concerns should not be restricted to girls or women. Like human-scale neighborhoods in any city, some of the friendlier human qualities can now be condemned as blight if they interfere with progress. The Taylorist imperative has gotten around to ordaining the reassignment of every living thing into one of two categories: consumable or consumer (here male and female amount to little more than the color choices offered in running shoes). Our whole species has been judged and sentenced to retooling for efficiency's sake. What Martin and others, who might like to re-legislate women back into the family, are overlooking, is that human behavior is a very wiggly thing--men and women never have fallen in line with strict gender-based rules and laws of comportment "We are what we are and we aint what we aint." This is precisely why gender ayatollahs have found it necessary to engrave commandments to keep these genii in their bottles. I appreciate Martin's concern about the radical redefinition of human worth that is being celebrated as progress rather than mourned as the canablization of the human spirit. However the problem does not arise from wayward, cold-hearted girls nor from their pushy mothers, but from the corporate colonization of our souls. lulugeez

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Mary Pipher's 1994 bestseller that painted a Modigliani-esque portrait of teenage girls -- depressed, anxiety-ridden, self-mutilating and self-loathing.

I hope everyone realizes taht this is a great description of teenage boys these days too. The only difference is, when girls come forward to get support for these issues, for depression, anxiety, eating disorders, etc.. they are treated in a supportive and nurturing way. When boys come froward with these issues, they are ridiculed and called weak, and "not a man.." So boys have just learned to shut up about it and suffer in silence. Just another part of growing up male in America.

I guess that's not always a bad thing, many boys find their own way out of the mess. They find a strong sense of identity and spirituality that will serve them well throughout life's hardships. But just as many end up not in a program like their female counterparts, but in the prison system.

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I am an alpha girl who grew up to be an alpha woman. Most of my friends are as well. I do not have an eating disorder and I relish all of my successes past, present and future. I also ackowledge all of my mistakes and failures, learned from them, blaming no one else, but always trying harder on a different path. I got here with hard work and the kindness and deliberate strategizing offered from other women higher up who mentored and helped me along the way. So I give back to every woman I can and I don't believe we have to problematize the efforts of young women who embrace achievement. I work hard, raise three sons alone and have a tremendously satisfying romantic relationship. I am not perfect, I am not superwoman, I do not have it all, but I have enough. There are millions of us well-adjusted alpha women. Stop assigning pathology where it doesn't belong. It's Ok to be alpha and happy. It's Ok to encourage young women to achieve as much as they dream. I do it everyday for all my students.
Sorry, but I see this as a way to bury the lead-- a plug for her own book. Seen less cynically, I see it as opinion from another alpha woman who has her worldview colored by her own legitimate hard work on a difficult subject. She is correct in her findings, and they need to be out there, but she is off in her direct correlation between the two realities of success leads to disorders. Sometimes it just leads to happiness.

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It has been an axiom for far too long that materialism does not bring happiness or self-satisfaction - one we still tend to ignore in the light of all-consuming consumerism. I spent a number of years climbing up through the ranks in the company for which I worked and I did pretty well. By the time I retired I was making a pretty good salary for a woman. It certainly was enough to keep my head a ways above poverty, but not enough to consider myself even at the low end of the scale of wealth. I learned a lot and was fairly content as long as there was a challenge in the work for me. But, during the last 20 of those years, I volunteered in my community as a rape victim advocate and a community mediator. I did not get paid for the nights I was routed out of bed to meet with a woman who had been raped or for the evenings I ceded to a small room filled with disputing people. But when I look back on those years it is about those activities that I think the most. That is where I see my contribution to society. That is where I see my self-worth. In those activities, I see the best of who I am.

The "balance" that some of the commentators above have talked about is an important element of how we view ourselves in relation to society. We do need to challenge ourselves. We do need to earn enough money to be self-supporting. We do not need to turn ourselves into unthinking and unfeeling automatons for the sole benefit of amassing a fortune.

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Why do so many people seem to think that the author of this piece is 1. picking on women, 2. picking on men, 3. reducing everything to gender... when she's writing a piece about a book praising the success of "alpha women"?

It's like everyone's thrown out where the writing's come from, as if it sprung out of nowhere. It's a god damn book review. Get some comprehension skills, internets.

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The reason that so many people seem to think that the author of this piece is picking on women, men and reducing everything to gender is that her criticisms of the book are exactly that. She criticizes the book for praising alpha women because she thinks the alpha women are dysfunctional and something to be avoided. She thinks men are responsible for promulgating the alpha female ethic, and she divides roles according to gender. In other words, she disparages behavior in the alpha women that she regards as normal for men.

I wonder what her real agenda is since most of her criticisms seem to be off the point and very, very contrived. No where does she manage to show that eating disorders are unique to alpha women. Her comment that women are supposed to be effortlessly superior is her own, unsupported opinion. In general, her criticisms are off the mark and symptomatic of a failed alpha woman wannabe. I may be somewhat sensitive to this subject since my ex was similar, always a medium sized frog in a tiny puddle, a legend in her own mind, but when measured against real successful women, she was a miserable failure. I see the same syndrome in this reviewer's review.

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IMNSHO..the big problem with alpha girls is that it very clearly embraces what i like to call the "maggie thatcher" brand of feminism...according to this school.."gender equality" is a few alpha bitches sitting on the fascist power circles alongside their male confederates ..rather than fight against the patriarchy..these women endeavour to become the patriarchy themselves...

only a hard-core neocon would exhibit the kind of optimism kindlon attributes to these alpha-bitches..and thats exactly what they are ..neocons...those of us that dont fall into that category should be more worried about the fascist power circles themselves..even if there isnt a single male on them...

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Ugh, who wants to be management, though, if you just really like to "make computers work"? They have to do all of the people-wrangling and resource shuffling, so you're not going to get to do a whole lot of the hands-on fun stuff if that's your route.
I think this illustrates the point about success being subjective.....As long as you're happy with what you do and where you're at, I wouldn't say your job title really matters, IMHO.

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Marriage might make a comeback for men!

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The problem with this article and this analysis in general is that it's sexist. In trying to be "Feminist" or whatever, what it does is highlight women's achievements, success oriented behavior and alleged overachievement/drive for perfection as gendered social ills. The problem with AMERICA is that people are so driven towards effortless perfection, that we ALL, male, female, transgendered, straight, queer, asexual PICK ANY IDENTITY, neglect crucial emotional needs and our inner lives end up underdeveloped. It has nothing to do with being a woman. What the article suggests is some sort of biological determinism being uprooted by women's drive towards the top. In other words, our kind, gentle natures aren't as evident or present as our intellectualism and competetiveness. We aren't as emotional or sensitive as we once were? HELLO? Wasn't the point of feminism to cast off such ridiculously antiquated notions of women? Was it all so we could ultimately pine for the era of the fair sex? COME ON. SERIOUSLY? The analysis is banal and transparent and does not belong on a website promoting progressive view points.

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Once again not just the author of this book but those who read or comment on it - what about girls/women of colour? I really hate books like this because all these authors seem to concentrate on are white girls/women and yet this book is supposedly about "women" in general.

How does being a successful 'alpha woman' play in communities of colour? Are our young girls groomed towards Ivy League schools and high-powered careers? Do young women of colour suffer not only from size insecurity, but from not having the correct hair and facial features of their caucasian counterparts? I would have loved to have seen these issues discussed in depth in a book that is about 'women'.

Then again, why am I not surprised? Practically every so-called progressive feminist writer and their critics have written endless tomes on the issues white women face and act as if one size should fit all. Then all of them become quite incensed when women of colour point out to them that our reality may be a lot different. Black girls have been documented to do better in math far longer than their white female classmates - and yet who roots for them to be the best they can be when society (and many of those in our own culture) have decided all we are good for is being a 'baby mama' or a 'video ho'? Asian girls, middle easter girls, latina girls - what about them and their attempts to become powerful and successful?

By the way, I'm thinking about two rather ambitious, successful women of colour; 'alpha bitches' if you please - Condoleeza Rice and Oprah Winfrey - I don't like Rice's politics and I'm not too crazy about Winfrey's show or magazine, but I do admire them for what they've accomplished. Oh wait people, neither are MARRIED. Both are dedicated CAREER women - and they've just GOT to be miserable without a man. But I guess when we're talking about women of colour, our lives don't matter so who cares what we do for good or ill?

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Why is it except for female athletes, winning or being a champ
is assigned to the male of the species? There's nothing wrong
with type A personalities; they pay the price they are willing
to pay to claw their way to the top. Are we are just now finding
out that girls have claws? Please. You want to be considered equal?
I guess you didn't read the bumper sticker. The woman who
wants to be equal to a man has no ambition.

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That's a provocative title that should exist unless there is a "Is Is Overachieving Bad for Boys?" corrollary. It's true that overachieving girls can be more perfectionistic and eating-disordered but it's irresponsible to put out memes like this especially when we don't worry when boys are overachieving.

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You could have named it "Overachieving girls have more eating disorders" instead of the irresponsible, misleading "Is Overachieving Bad for Girls?" Is overachieving good for girls? Yes, it keeps them out of trouble for one thing. It gives them opportunities they might not have had such as college scholarships, higher goals in life, better outlook on life, etc. You also have to address the reasons society makes overachievement for girls difficult for them. How has society not adjusted to care for their psychological needs? How has society not embraced overachieving women? etc.

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It would have been more responsible to write an article about the downfalls of traditional success for both men and women. Doesn't the fast track leave men empty and souless. We know it does. Success needs to be redefined for both men and women as more than material success and dying with more toys.

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Women outnumber men in college, but mainly in community college, the numbers even out in the 4 year schools and ivy leagues. Also, with all these women achieving so much in science and math, one would expect to see more women science majors- when the number of women in engineering and math majors has actually declined in the last year or so. Same for number of women in the math/science industries- or at the top levels of management. If we are so successful, why aren't there more of us at the top? This book mainly focuses on white, upper middle class girls as representative of "girls/women"- those aspirations and goals are those of privilleged people- not working class or low-income women and girls. I'm happy that those of us who have the opportunity to go to college (30% of US population) have greater opportunities than we did 30 years ago, but the fact remains that 1) Women are still underrepresented in upper management and the higher levels of government (and are more likely to be rich and white when they ARE present) and 2) More needs to be done to advance the number of opportunties for success to middle/low income women and minority women. (college, equal pay, adaquate health care, child care, etc)

The idea that boys are suddenly losing ground to girls is positively rediculous. Women are just becoming another "model minority"- you forever seek "perfection" in the hope that you can overcome your defincency- being female in a male world.

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As an after thought I would just like to say how this article is another example of how, as a woman, you just can't win. Somehow you are always neurotic. You can't be TOO successful?!? No one should want to "succeed" at ANY cost- but that's across the gender board (as some other people have noted). Women have realized over the years that to be half as successful, you have to work twice as hard. And some women, just like some men, have a lot of ambition anyhow. I think the question is more about how our society defines "success" than asking "Is overachieving bad for girls (women)?"

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Young girls of colour face even tougher challenges every day, but who writes books and fights for them? No one. Like black and latino boys, our society leaves them to their own devices, locked in cycles of poverty, despair and violence. The only time children of colour are discussed is by right-wing racist pundits who love to point out how 'bad and messed up' blacks and latinos are.

However, when there's a 'problem' with white, upper-class girls - eating disorders, violence, premarital sex, etc. - suddenly everyone's an expert and everyone has a book, column, blog or opinion. The bottom line is this: It's NEVER a problem until it happens to white people.

Remember Columbine? High schools had bullying before that happened and no one got off their collective butts to stop it until two white boys went postal. If Columbine had been George Washington High School in South L.A., people would have treated it as a matter of course.

I'm really starting to wonder if progressives are as "progressive" as they claim to be or whether they're just as clouded by race as the conservatives.

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We're all (in the US) striving for a "success" which we'll never fully meet. We're led to believe that if we study hard enough, work hard, look the best we can, whatever, then we'll be a success. Well, many of us do these things only to find the so-called "achievements" leave us feeling empty at the end of the night. So then we pop the pill, have a cocktail, and try to get a few hours rest before we're back at it again the next day.

Part of the system's genius is that it promises so much yet delivers so little. And each time, the bar gets set higher and higher til we're practically dying to make it. It isn't just the young girls who have a problem with being an alpha: it's all of us.

This article made me think of how absolutely amazing the continental US is in terms of geography and natural wonders, yet so few of us get to see them because our paradigms limit us from one, knowing that they exist, and (more importantly) two, having the desire to know them. Also, everyone is "so busy" that we don't have the time to talk, to touch, or to feel much for one another. (You'd think that with everyone working so hard, life would be Perfect! Is it?) "Tune in and tune out" is what our society wants us to do and for those who have tuned out, ENTIRELY, we see how sick it all is.

"Something's very wrong here...very very wrong..."

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I think one of the biggest impediments to womens success nowadays is that society does not support the programs or services that women need. Overt discrimination has really diminished in employment, and most would agree, but you still do not see enough women rising up to higher levels of management. I think this problem is less about overt discrimination and more about the fact that America provides inadequate and underfunded day care and lacks universal health care. Women have to choose between work and staying home for awhile. Stay home and you will be behind, that is the reality of the competitive work force. The lack of universal health care means that many women are stuck paying out large amounts of money for healthcare. Having a baby then can be a prescription for poverty, and who wants that? Bad schools are another issue, some women home school just because of this. So, society does not respond to womens needs, and this puts women behind.

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This is the worst article on AlterNet I have seen since its inception. The author makes wild speculations - based, I would assume, on her own prejudice since she doesn't cite a single source or study - that high achieving girls are neurotic, unhappy and have eating disorders. She doesn't even bother to define her own key terms, such as what might constitute the "perfect" girl. The analysis here is shallow, the research is non-existent, she didn't even bother to talk to so much as one of these high achieving girls, and the conclusions she reaches so far-fetched I'm wondering how she ever made the critical leap from one to the other. If this is what passes for journalism and/or scholarship, then George Bush is going to win the Nobel Peace Prize. The whole piece makes me wonder what inspired this insipid, emotionally overwrought rant.

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These girls sound incredibly privileged to even be able to reach this level of unhappiness. Both the book she criticizes and her own would be much more helpful with an examination of race and class. Please, eating-disordered alpha princesses who (poor things!) get into Harvard (assuming Daddy's paying?) do not happen in a vacuum.

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in the sort of anti-female crap that AlterNet has been putting out. I'm getting the feeling that AlterNet is moving away from being a progressive news source and moving toward being just a "faux" news for kid-centered yuppies.

Many more stories like this one, and I will just remove myself from the mailing list.

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Well I do not think that this article is all 100% bullshit, OBSERVE the alpha type girls around you yourself. I think girls understand more about those type of girls than boys do. As I matched some points from the article and my life experience, I am a male, these type of girls are really, in difference to other girls, goal oriented and most of them do not have really good, long term and close relationships with people, even not a single one, except for parents. I think that they even do not have good friends.
They are more concentrated on their objectives and try to get them done and give their more energy to these. I think life probably not all about pursuing your dreams and accomplishing the academic missions with very high results. For example taking me,I think more about why did I come to this world than studying extensively, it is, study, just not what drives me. What drives me is about learning why did I come to this world because tomorrow or any someday I will be dead. And when you think about very high achievements in this life I am sure you gonna have no time to think about what why did you come to this world. I want to find some meaning out of living but I do not think that it is about satisfacation that you get from your achievements because it is not based on reasonable motivation. It is I think fulfilling your internal desire for success, not feeling less important person, having successful and secure future. And probably winding away the fear inside you of future failure. Well that what I guess probably what drives these girls i do not understand however these vague motivations probably they even can not explain themselves what these all motivations are. They are confident that this will lead to their success and SUCCESS thats what they want I think.
I am not going to finish this letter if there gonna be replies.

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Our society needs to slow down and grow more conscious.

If mechanical self-promotion is valued over self realization, we are achieving nothing.

I find it funny that there are readers who equate critiquing the mainstream competitive system (which is damaging for girls or anyone else) with being anti-female.

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For sources and citations to back up this article, check out Alfie Kohn's Punished By Rewards.

http://www.alfiekohn.org/books/pbr.htm

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The problem as I see it comes down to a lack of perspective and a lack of balance. It’s that vision thing. Why am I doing this anyway –whatever ‘this’ might be? Who am I making this terrific sacrifice for? At some point in each of our all too brief lives, these questions will catch up with us, grab us by the throat and demand an answer. When we lose our equilibrium, losing our way in the process, the result is inevitable: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual deterioration and despair accompanied by all the attendant symptoms. For some, this happens much sooner than it does for others.

Our cultural obsession with personal exclusivity and accredited achievement, that continual measuring of oneself against a mythical or institutional ideal, is dividing us one from another, and dividing us from a sense of what is genuinely important about our individual lives. It stunts our growth and hinders the emergence of our natural and innate wisdom in its own time and at its own pace. When this happens to anyone, we all lose.

I would encourage discovering and follow one's own star, to create your own program and make learning a life long pursuit. Forget about the accolades, the applause, the recognition. Make the effort without worrying about the material payout. With this tack you just might find yourself the beneficiary of rewards that might surprise you. Keep in mind that within fifty years, many of us will be gone and forgotten, and everyone else will be following soon after. Just think, 6.5 billion of those now living will be gone... in less than a hundred years. Stay focused on the present, stop looking back, stop judging yourself so harshly, and for goodness sake don’t let the opinions of others prevent you from doing what you know is right for you. Time is short, let yourself grow. I'll be cheering for you!

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"Here's the big "but": 7 million American girls and women have eating disorders. Panic disorders and depression are twice as likely in women and 75 percent of autoimmune illnesses affect women. This is not progress without pain."

If panic disorders and depression are twice as likely in women than in men, then that does suggest a female-specific problem, and it often is the result of a hectic society in which women are overtaxed with obligations and very little support.

However, I'm not sure that girls' success is school is the result of their "overachieving"--if you look at studies, you will see that:

# Boys earn 70 percent of Ds and Fs and fewer than half of the As.

# Boys account for two-thirds of learning disability diagnoses.

# Boys represent 90 percent of discipline referrals.

# Boys dominate such brain-related learning disorders as ADD/ADHD, with millions now medicated in schools.

# 80 percent of high school dropouts are male.

# Males make up fewer than 40 percent of college students (Gurian, 2001).

This article http://www.ascd.org/authors/ed_lead/el200411_gurian.html
from which these statistics were copied, describes neurological studies that show how male and female brains work differently. It goes on to say, "We have nearly closed the math/science gender gap in education for girls by using more verbal functioning—reading and written analysis—to teach such spatial-mechanical subjects as math, science, and computer science (Rubin, 2004; Sommers, 2000). We now need a new movement to alter classrooms to better suit boys' learning patterns if we are to deal with the gaps in grades, discipline, and reading/writing that threaten to close many boys out of college and out of success in life."

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I have always wondered why "success" has been defined by material measures. To me the most important part of life, is family life and one's devotion to it, however in discussions regarding "success", this is often not even mentioned as one of the criterias of "success" or is discounted as something almost not worth considering.

I will tell you though, the heroes or "successes" in my book are not the Jack Welch's or Carly Fiorina's of the world, but are much closer to home like my Father and Mother, whose devotion to family was absolute. In fact that devotion I am sure "cost" my parents lots of material things and perhaps a greater "social status". My Dad's career probably could have gone higher than it did due to his intelligence, if he wasn't coaching kids sports teams, involved with Cub Scouts etc etc, my Mother could have left the home started a career and earned an income, if she wasn't devoting herself completely to her family. So I guess they measured their "success", by the standards of family life, and I know by brother and sisters will be eternally greatful for that.

Now I see that women are driving themselves at all costs to be "successful" in this all too material world, with the costs being who knows what. Many men in past generations had this same disease, I hope women don't suffer in the same way that those men did.

Regards,

FG

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People are turning to legal and illegal drugs in ever greater numbers.

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So, according to both Alternet's Courtney Martin and author Dan Kindlon, a successful woman must have something wrong with her. Kindlon says it's because "They are no longer slowed down by empathy or emotionality". Martin's objection is that somehow academic and professional success automatically equals mental illness.

Jeez, you sound like you want girls to go back to playing with baby dollies and cookery sets and not worry their little heads about serious subjects. Have some faith. Look how far woman have come in forty years, of course things aren't going to be perfectly smooth sailing as they make the transition from housewifey to senator, what did you expect?

Women aren't stupid, they'll figure out where they're making mistakes, and fix it -and themselves. The main problem, in my opinion, is that people in general, men AND women, are unindated constantly with marketing propaganda without understanding how insidious and effective marketing has become. The young are especially prone to it's brainwashing effects.

I'm usually a cynic, but I believe that most people eventually figure out that perfection is not possible, and they'll "get real". Courtney E. Martin must be under thirty, because after middle age comes knocking, "getting real" is the only option.

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http://www.courtneyemartin.com/bio.php

"Courtney E. Martin is a writer, teacher, and filmmaker. Her book, Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body, will be published on Simon & Schuster's Free Press in April of 2007."

Pleeeeze, dear gawd. No.

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