Let's Face It, Penises Dominate American Politics

By , BuzzFlash. Posted October 7, 2006.

Thank God for Mark Foley.

It proves that the American people still care about something.

It happens to be penises. But still.

They care about who talks about them, who plays with them, who covers them up, who uncovers them, who covers up the uncovering of them.

Even Jon Stewart put the big penis cover-up ahead of the fact that this government just passed a law that says that George Bush can say, "Hey you, you're an enemy combatant, "and once he says that they can whisk you away.

This is literally true. It's like that joke in the first grade.

Make me a milkshake

Poof: You're a milkshake

If George Bush says: you're an enemy combatant. Poof! You are one. And then they can take you to Guantanamo, do not pass go, do not call your attorney, do not see a judge, do not hear the charges against you, go straight to the cage they want to put you in. The cage comes with lights that stay on 24 hours a day and wake-up calls every fifteen minutes so you never get to sleep and special exercise programs where you stand for hours in 'stress' positions, upward screaming cat, squatting tortured turtle, and other lite abuses that used to quaintly prohibited by the Geneva Conventions.

Today's joke:

Q: What do Americans do after they commit war crimes?

A: They pass a law that says they can't be prosecuted for committing war crimes.

If you don't find that funny, if you actually think that's serious, then I ask you come nobody else does. How come CNN doesn't care, NBC, the NY Times? How come the Democratic leadership doesn't care?

How did that that bill -- that contains all those provisions and more -- got passed without a filibuster? Without a fuss?

Thank God for Mark Foley. An old congressman hitting on teenage boys, that's real news.

I was watching CNN yesterday afternoon. It was All Penis, All the Time.

Here's a quote, from one of their reporters, "One question always rises to the top: 'who knew what, and when did they know it.'"

That's true, but only when it has to do with a penis.

Last week Bob Woodward's new book came out. One of the things he revealed was an additional meeting between the head of the CIA and Condoleeza Rice, back in July 2001, in which they tried to shock her, shake her up in doing something about terrorism.

That meeting is important for several reasons.

The fact that she didn't anything about it led to the deaths of at least 3,000 people. Call me me crazy, call me irresponsible, but that seems more important than an old queen hitting on young teens.

That meeting was kept secret from the 9/11 Commission, congress and the American people. There's no security reason for it to be secret. Only a political one. Proof, once again, that 9/11 happened because the Bush Administration was asleep at the wheel.

When the book came out, Rice denied the meeting had happened. She flat out lied about it.

Documents proved it took place.

I don't see CNN, or anybody else, hounding the White House about Condoleeza Rice's cover up and her lies.

"One question always rises to the top: who knew what and when did they know it?"

See more stories tagged with: media

Liked this story? Get top stories in your inbox each week from AlterNet! Sign up now »