The State of the American Mom

"A college-educated woman with one child can easily pay a 'mommy tax' (lost lifetime earnings) of $1 million."

"Consider that in the Army a family that makes below $28,000 annually pays no more than $43 per week for childcare, or around $2,000 annually. And then compare that to the national average cost of childcare, which can rise to $10,000 per year or more."

"In terms of infant mortality rates, the U.S. tied for 38th in the world with Estonia, Poland, Slovakia, and the United Arab Emirates in 2003."

These are just some of the harsh realities Kristin Rowe-Finkbeiner and Joan Blades researched and discuss in their book, "The Motherhood Manifesto: What America's Moms Want -- And What to Do About It." I spoke with Kristin from her home in Kirkland, Washington. Here's Kristin ...

What made you want to work on this book?

[laughs] That's a big one. I wanted to work on this book because with the research and writing I've done over the past several years it's became clear that there are incredibly important issues for mothers and families in this country that aren't getting the attention they deserve, and that the general public isn't getting enough information about what's really going on with American mothers and families. So, I was really excited to work on the book and work on the movement to help share that information with people. Information like the fact that we are one of only four countries, out of 168 countries, that doesn't have some form of paid family leave for new moms. We join Papua New Guinea, Lesotho, and Swaziland as the four countries that don't have paid family leave for new moms.

Information like the fact that there are 40,000 kindergarteners home alone every day after school because we don't offer enough quality, affordable after-school programs and many parents need to work during those hours. We have a modern economy that requires many families to have two parents in the labor force in order to meet basic needs like paying rent and buying food, but we don't have a country with policies that have caught up to the modern realities of parenthood. And so bringing these common, shared issues to the surface is really exciting.

The opportunity to work and co-write this book with Joan Blades, co-founder of MoveOn.org and all around brilliant thinker, was high on my list as well.

How did you go about getting all the great case studies that make up the book? The stories you and Joan capture in "The Motherhood Manifesto" are brutally amazing.

All the stories are true, and gathering them took a lot of time. It's actually often harder to find people who have time to share what's going on in their lives than it is to find research. [laughs] We knew those stories were out there, and knew people were having issues with the topics covered in the case studies just from looking at trends and demographics. So, the case studies in the book actually represent a lot more women than the individual women discussed on the pages.

And we had help from many organizations, the lovely internet, as well as friends asking friends if they knew anyone who wanted to share their story. Many people came forward and were delighted to share their stories because one of the things about this issue is that so many people are facing the same problem at the same time but often feel like they're experiencing it alone. And, in fact, we argue that when this many people are experiencing the same problems at the same time, it's a societal issue not a personal failing. So, when people came forward to share their stories I think many of them were empowered by sharing what's going on with them, and also by helping make our country a bit better at the same time.

I have heard of the term, "the glass ceiling" before. And I've heard of the term "pink-collar jobs" used by many activists in the women's movement and by many of today's feminists. But I've never heard of "the maternal wall."