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Bush tries to have it both ways

Be afraid...but all hail my mad terra-fightin' skillz!

"America is safer than it has been, yet it is not yet safe." -- President Poppycock McFlapdoodle, speaking to reporters at the National Counterterrorism Center just outside Washington today.

I love how he tries to have it both ways. He still wants Americans to be shit-in-yer-breeks-terrified that the terrorists will git us any moment, but, at the same time, he wants credit for leading the only party capable of protecting them. America's more safe (because of me), but not totally safe (so keep on sitting in that puddle of piss in front of Fox News until it's time to cast your next vote).


Melissa McEwan writes and edits the blog Shakespeare's Sister .