Freaky Fridays

By Sex Goddess, WireTap. Posted July 21, 2006.

Who: Who I am is unimportant. I do, however, enjoy sex, dally in various relationships, and on top of that I am an organizer by trade, or perhaps faith. I declare here and now that I know as much as anyone about sex and relationships -- which is roughly nothing and everything.

Why: Organizers, activists, change makers, closet progressives -- people trying to save the world often have a hard time figuring out how to … do it. Whatever it might be at the moment -- love, dominate, submit, indulge, deny, give, take, fight, let go, wonder, know. I secretly suspect that if everyone were able to find the freedom to really love and please themselves (not to mention each other), the world would be a much more peaceful place.

Rules:

1. I hate rules!
2. There are no stupid questions, only stupid hang-ups.
3. Pleasure came before political correctness, and so should you!
4. Love yourself first.

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Dear SG,

I've been in a committed relationship for a while, almost seven years. We met on the internet and initially it worked out well, though politically we were diverse. Then things went South: at first, she thought that everything I did was everything she would do. Then the fighting started, and all that I had been doing was no longer the thing she wanted.

Now I have again, completely unexpectedly, met someone on the internet and that is blossoming. I have way too much invested in the first relationship to just get up and leave, but the 'out' is becoming more and more attractive as the fighting continues to escalate. Does she have another waiting in the wings you might ask? I don't know.

Question: Is it worth the hassle to even ask? Counseling didn't work, she decided it was a waste of time -- this whole issue has gone on for about three years and gotten worse. I met someone just two months ago. Nothing is set with the online, its just a good flirt for now but we both have hinted at the escalation.

Awash in Alaska

Dear Love Glacier,

Shame on you for even trying to use a new flirtation to wiggle out of your dedicated relationship. The flirtation means little, it is merely a symptom. Deal with the issue at hand. Your seven-year-itch sounds pretty severe. If you don't share common interests, and your honey feels counseling is a waste of time, then you have to ask yourself one question: How do I want to spend the next seven years of my life? The answer is either working even harder on this relationship, or starting from scratch in the love zone. Only you know the answer. You and everyone reading this column and your soon-to-be ex-honey, that is.

Good Luck,
SG

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Dear SG,

My girlfriend doesn't show up. Like, we make plans and she doesn't call, text, email, smoke signal, myspace, nothing. I have told her it sucks, and she just points to her schedule. But fuck that, we're both busy. Am I trippin' or is she hella wack?

Home Alone

Dear Home Alone,

Your girlfriend is disrespecting you, and yes, that is hella wack. The ultimate dismissal of any person is to say that your very limited time on earth is worth nothing. Value is shown through consideration, and by showing you no consideration about your time, your girlfriend is showing that you don't mean much to her. If you've already told her that, then your next step should be to let your actions speak -- respect yourself enough to value your time. Don't spend your short precious life waiting on someone to make you feel less than you are.

SG

Do you have a question? Email SG at SexAdvice@WireTapMag.org. Click here to access all of SG's sex and relationships wisdom.

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