George W. Bush's Disorderly Conduct

By Jane Smiley, Huffington Post. Posted May 16, 2006.

I was thinking the unthinkable the other day. I believe it was nuking Iran that I could not get my head around, but then another unthinkable rose above the horizon -- what was that? Oh, yeah, it was those Diebold voting machines that have been shown to be actively insecure. (What, you may ask, is "actively insecure"? It is where the machine invites election fraud rather than merely allowing it?)

And then I read Michelle Goldberg's piece in Salon about "Christian Nationalism" -- another unthinkable. But finally, I have to say, the ultimate thought that I could not bring myself to understand through normal mental processes was the idea that G.W. and G.H.W. Bush would seriously propose the election of Jeb Bush to the presidency.

Nuking Iran gives me chills, and Christian Nationalism freaks me out, but the election of Jeb Bush makes me run screaming around the house, scaring the children and causing the dogs to retreat to their dog houses. Why is this? Because the election of Jeb Bush is a four-for-one -- it could only come as a result of bombing Iran and a massively fraudulent election, and it would actively promote Christian Nationalism, as well as saddling us with the third in the troika of "worst presidents" ever to serve, or even be conceived of, in U.S. history.

So, after thinking the unthinkables, I went on the internet to do some research in how the Bush mind would seem to work. First, there is Poppy. I don't really understand Poppy Bush, except that I suspect he is a tool of Mommy Bush, and everyone I've ever met who has had anything to do with Mommy says that she is mean, selfish, narrow-minded, snobbish and controlling, and Poppy has been married to her a long time. My guess is that he has no personality of his own left at all.

This brings us to little George. How do you like this for a description?:

• Frequent temper tantrums.
  
• Excessive arguing with adults.
  
• Active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules.
  
• Deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people.
  
• Blaming others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior.
  
• Often being touchy or easily annoyed by others.
  
• Frequent anger and resentment.
  
• Mean and hateful talking when upset.
  
• Seeking revenge.

While I am not a personal friend of little George, I do clearly remember the report by Karen Kwiatkowski that he called the Constitution "just a god-damned piece of paper" (active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules), and that Condi Rice once cautioned the former British ambassador, "Don't make him angry."

Every dispatch out of the White House indicates that temper tantrums are frequent, and we all know that blaming others is his calling card. Seeking revenge is his life work. So, what is this? This is "Oppositional Defiant Disorder," seen in lots of children, along with ADD, ADHD and depression. For our purposes, we can also note that ODD sometimes leads to another condition we are all familiar with called "Conduct Disorder." Here are the things that people with Conduct Disorder often do:

Jane Smiley is a novelist and essayist. Her latest book is "Thirteen Ways of Looking at the Novel" (Knopf).

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