Sex With Emily: Gay Life on Campus

This week I talk with Billy Curtis, director of the Gender Equity Resource Center at the University of California at Berkeley about how the queer scene is evolving on college campuses, in the Castro district and on Craigslist.

This column is a partial transcript of my accompanying podcast, "Sex With Emily." I included some highlights from Billy's interview below, but you can listen to the entire 30-minute interview by pressing the "Listen" button beside this column.

When I was at the University of Michigan in the early 90's, we had a burgeoning gay and lesbian student presence on campus. Fast forward to liberal schools of today, like UC Berkeley, where there are several LGBT student groups, yet many students still aren't comfortable holding hands on campus.

Billy and his students aren't fans of President Bush (no surprise there), but they find hope in San Francisco's current mayor, Gavin Newsom, a champion of gay marriage who helps to provide the queer community with confidence to interact with -- and ask more of -- their local government.

I talked with Billy about his sex life (of course), as well as how finding out he was HIV-positive actually made him healthier mentally, spiritually and emotionally.

Billy discusses his on-campus challenges

Emily Morse: What are the most unique things that come in your line of work?

Billy Curtis: The folks I work with the closest are those writing papers or finding out what their resources are. But really, it's about helping our emerging transgender population transition -- a lot of folks who may have entered the university as one gender, and have determined that they want to transition during that time, so they're in that process.

EM: College has come a long way since I went to school [in the early 90's]. The movement then was about recognizing gay and lesbian students on campus, but now you're saying, "Of course we've got gay and lesbian students, but we've now got to focus on this student who came in as a woman "

BC: But gays and lesbians still don't feel as accepted on campuses around the country, including Berkeley. One of the things that's come up is that no one really holds hands across campus. That's very telling, still to this day. [Gay] folks are not comfortable.

Billy opens up about the storied San Francisco 'gay scene'

EM: What's the gay scene [like] in San Francisco? On Friday night, what do you do?

BC: (Laughs) I'm sad. I used to be a big circuit boy and have a really good time. Now I go for coffee and things. I don't really go out that much anymore. I was taking a break for a while, and yes, folks, I'm a sad person -- but I do have sex.

EM: What kind of sex do you have? Would you go and have sex with someone you just met?

BC: Oh, my god, that's hot, yeah.

EM: As you know, the stereotype about the gay community is that you're having hot sex everywhere. You go out to bars, you meet someone, you may front on them or you may not Is this happening?

BC: I imagine it is, but you do have the internet too. Let's put it this way: the internet has actually revolutionized and destroyed sexuality in one setting.

EM: For gay people or everyone?

BC: Everyone. You can literally order up what you want on the internet. So you go onto Manhunt.com or even Craigslist, and you look for a picture and you decide what you want. In the past, there was a little more -- and I'm going to sound like an old fogey -- mystery to it. You didn't know until you got home what you were getting.

EM: Now there are pictures

BC: And that's not necessarily a bad thing, but I do miss discovery. And so, I have a choice. But I've spoken with younger gay men who don't know about that discovery not in the same way.

I can also go on the internet and determine if I want to have a one night stand or whatever it is. But that's me. I'm very clear about what those sites are. For me they're about having sex with someone. I've made friendships out of that, but I don't fool myself for a minute that that's what I may get. I definitely don't assume that I'm getting a boyfriend out of that.