How to Succeed in Work, Life and Love

Bitch!Bitch, "Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch." Bitch bitch bitch bitch, bitch bitch bitch bitch, and bitch bitch bitch bitch.Invest all your money in the stock market. The market is a bitch. Life's a bitch and where's your money?The world is my oyster, hey bitch, give me the pearls.Bitch & Bitch. Abercrombie and Bitch. Johnson and Bitch. Starsky and Bitch. My Three Bitches. Bitchy and Clyde. Bebitched. Bitchy and Cher. Allie McBitch. Bitch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. Share and share a bitch. Donny and Bitch. I'm a little bit rock and roll. I'm a little bit of a bitch.Bitch ... etc.Drink lots of Coffee. Hook up a caffeine IV and bitch, bitch bitch, and, come to think of it, bitch.Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch (Excuse me-I digress).Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch! Look busy. Bitch, bitch, bitch. Kiss Ass. Let the bitching commence. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch.Who me? Couldn't be. Says who? Says me. Bitch. Shave and a haircut-Bitch! Bitch!Forty percent chance of rain. Thirty percent chance of sun. One hundred percent bitch.Call in Sick until "THEY" are sick of you calling in sick. Oh yeah, don't forget to bitch.You don't work in an office. You work in a cubicle. A cu-bitch-icle.How shall I say-Bitch Even More. Bitch; bitch; bitch. Photocopy your Face and your Ass-can your boss tell them apart? Bitch?Then the man says to me, "Chicken Soup." And I say, "Your wife is (pause) a (dramatic pause) BITCH! (Accented "CH" like a stuttering Ch-Ch-Ch-Choo-Choo-Train)." Bitch (bitch-ha). He then says, "What were you doing with my wife?" And I say, "I was in France nine months ago." Then he says, "The baby is two months premature." And I say, "Bitch!" Bitch slapped by the man. Son of a gun.When the going gets tough-the tough go bitching. Hctib, for the dyslexic.Add one minute to your lunch hour every week, in a year, your lunch hour is two hours. When your clock watching co-workers begin to notice your extended gastronomical siesta, it is fair time to call them all bitches.Quit bitching and ask for a raise. If you got the raise-the bitches should have given you more. If you didn't get the raise bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Either way, I have an inkling, you are licensed to bitch.Question Authority-Then pack up your desk and look for another bitch of a job. And a one, and a two, and a bitch bitch bitch. This little bitch had roast beef. This little bitch got none. And this little bitch went bitch bitch bitch all the way home.So you got a dog to meet people? The dog is a girl. And you pick up its shit. Who's the bitch? You're the bitch.It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. Let's face it, it was a bitch.Call me Ishmael. Okay bitch, whatever you want.Hey Whitney Houston. THC isn't legal, but being a B-I-T-C-H is.Please pick-up where I left off. I'm through bitching.