DURST: Jobs for Everyone
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You know what crunches my granola? Well, I mean besides that spooky dancing baby on Ally McBeal? This full employment economy of ours. Don't get me wrong, It's not that I don't think people deserve to make a living. Yes indeed, everybody deserves a job. Just not always the ones they have. Different jobs, maybe. Jobs that don't include a lot of figurin'. Because unemployment is at an all time low, some folks have landed themselves occupations in which it is safe to say they are less qualified than goldfish running snowblowers. Or a weasel driving a bus and no I'm not just talking about Kenneth Starr. I'm talking about people who are confused by their shoes who have keys. Managers to whom the term clueless is an aspiration. People who think a nametag gives them the cloak of logic armor. Clerks trying to push buttons on cash registers with fingernails the size of small boogie boards. Government employees who can't speak English. And I'm not talking about government employees in France, either. No, what I mean to say is government employees in our very own country who can't speak English. And the ones who ostensibly can speak English refuse to communicate in it. The only way to get something done, is to resort to the weird grunts, snorts and whistles they seem to understand. Of course with what I'm usually trying to tell them, perhaps it's better they don't understand me.Will Durst would probably get more satisfaction talking to the French.