Bruce Willis' unhappy ending

Michael Berubé peers deep into the crystal ball and spies an upcoming issue of Variety magazine from 2008, as balding action hero Bruce Willis struggles to find the perfect ending to the Iraq war epic he plans to make.

Berubé writes:

"He’ll spend a month filming the 'democracy' ending, but no one knows what that’s supposed to look like, and then he decides it’s 'too boring anyway.' So we’ll spend another month on the 'fighting terrorism' ending, where we wipe out an entire city, then another month on the 'civil war' ending... And then he’ll just spend days alone in his trailer, blasting this turgid crap by The Doors and painting his body from head to toe."

"Industry analysts note that the cost of Mission Accomplished now exceeds $200 billion... "It’s way beyond what happened with Coppola," said one of the film’s producers, "not that there are any parallels with Vietnam or anything."

--> Sign up for Peek in your inbox... every morning! (Go here and check Peek box).