You give birth a bad name

I know all mammals do it, but I used to be pretty impressed by the whole pregnancy, labor, birth, and mothering thing.

Then along came Britney Spears. First, there's the whole thing of getting together with someone who still has another woman pregnant with his second child. Second, there's the whole smoking during pregnancy thing. Then, there's the promoting unnecessary c-sections, the $20,000 a night hospital room, and the private chef.

"The only thing I haven't done so far is experience the closest thing to God, and that's having a baby. I can't wait!” Brittney wrote on her website.

Let me say it here for the record: babies are not pashminas.

That's all I can say on the subject. Little Sean Preston Federline will teach them that same lesson better than anyone else ever could.