DURST: Confused About Sex
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Confused about sex? Turns out you are not alone, my friend. Congress, not to mention the President and a whole bunch of judges and lawyers and journalists happen to be baffled about the whole damn thing as well. Perplexed you might say. I'd go so far as to say puzzled even. Journalists of course, you expect it from. But was it sex or was it all just a big misunderstanding? See, it depends on your perspective. Now for a guy, well simply put; this is not what the my buds back in high school would have referred to as "getting laid." This was more like extreme third base. A triple with the bases full. Of course to a girl's mom this was a whole lot more than getting laid. This was the dreaded "perversion." A gateway leading directly to the wearing of fishnet stockings. To a guy's dad, this would have meant a walk past the woodshed accompanied by a bogus warning tinged with a proud smirk. After all, this was arm punching proof his little boy was a real man. The boys down at the plant got to hear about this one. To a girl's dad, this would have meant a furious session in the dark changing the gun metal finish on his automatic weapons collection chrome plated.