A Soldier Speaks: Joseph R. Newbrough

Editor's Note: As of August 10, 2005, 1,838 American troops and between 22,500 to 100,00 Iraqi civilians have been killed in the war in Iraq. Domestically, the bill for the war has reached $204.6 billion.

This is the second in a continued series of profiles of some of the tens of thousands of Iraq War veterans who have come home bearing the scars of battle -- emotional and physical wounds that may never heal unless the nation pays them the attention and care that they deserve. We at AlterNet believe it is the one issue that can and must bring us all together as Americans.

Senior Topographic Analyst in the Army, Staff Sergeant (SSG) Joseph R. Newbrough, Jr., 26, was deployed with the 555th Engineering Group on January 7, 2003 and has been back home with his family since December 17, 2004.

AlterNet: Tell us about yourself

I am originally from San Jose, California. In 1997, I enlisted in the Marine Corps. After my four-year tour, I got out and moved to Chicago with my wife. While in Chicago, both my wife and I worked, but to no avail -- we were barely able to make our car and insurance payments. Therefore, in just under four months, I re-enlisted into the Army.

Having three children and no college education -- even with my specialized training -- I find it very difficult to find a job that makes enough money to support my family without utilizing the various welfare programs. And the military life is very hard on my wife and my children. It hurts me every time I think about leaving them alone. I fear that their emotional well-being suffers greatly from the loss, and yet I simply cannot "take care" of them any other way.

Initially, I joined up because of an unstable home life and a general lack of direction. The reason I chose the Marine Corps in the first place was due to my experience with the Marine Corps JROTC in high school.

What were you told were the reasons for the war in Iraq when you first began your duty?

Told about Iraq? That isn't how the military works. Each individual completes the tasks to which their company is assigned. There are no formal discussions of the 'bigger picture' or the implications of your actions.

For example, I am an 81T (Topographic analyst). It is my job to create products with information about river crossings, cross-country mobility, lines of communication, and in general, anything that involves terrain intelligence. At no point in time did it become essential for my chain of command to 'care' about the reasons for the war.

We were there to complete the missions essential to carrying out combat operations. Although, the command did make sure to dehumanize the "hajis" (Iraqis) every chance they got, it was not that they ordered us to be uncompassionate. The dehumanization was more along the lines of good ole' fashioned American racism -- comments such as "They smell like dogs!" or "Man, I can't wait to get out on that road and kill me a sand nigger!" -- were not uncommon during chow and formations.

Did you ever express dissent?

My wife would send me all the debate transcripts and any pertinent news pieces. Those I would share with the other soldiers, but beyond that -- no, not really. I am an NCO [Noncommissioned Officer], a leader. Not to sound hackneyed, but it isn't really my place to "rabble rouse" and get the soldiers agitated. It is my job to make sure that the mission is accomplished and everyone gets home safe.

How did you maintain your strength to finish your service when you found yourself questioning the war?

You are trained to do your job, so you do it. Not to mention, everything is compartmentalized. No one is really seeing things the way they are seen at home. Your focus is on the mission, which is essentially any direct order you are given. That can be anything from "haji" guard and convoy security to CQ (Charge of Quarters).