The Mix

Just can't get enough

The 'I'm Tom Cruise, and I'm in LOVE!!!' blog provides minutes and minutes of TomKat gossip goodness.
The two or three people that read my blog might remember (from one of my earlier posts) my confession of obsession with TomKat (you know, the "Tom Cruise 'n' Katie Holmes-in-loooove show").

Like a train wreck -- or "Britney and Kevin: Chaotic" -- I just can't tear my eyes from the horror. I gulp down gossip about this lame-ass "couple" like it's a life-saving elixir. And all the while, I'm wondering, what's happened to Katie's brain?! Have the thetans turned her mind to mush? Has pretending to sleep with T.C. actually transformed her once-nubile young mind to porridge?

Or is she really just being paid off to act like a lovestruck zombie, in order to garner press for Batman Begins and War of the Worlds -- not to mention the church of Scientology)? (Rumor has it that Holmes "auditioned" for -- and, apparently, won -- the part of Cruise's girlfriend, and she's being compensated for it).

If you're enjoying the drama as much as I am, you'll enjoy this satire blog, written from Tom's perspective (by -- duh -- someone that ain't him).

It's funny, see?
It's funny how being in a relationship with someone sixteen years your junior can expose you to so many things you never knew existed. When my fiancee and I started dating, we had almost nothing in common, except that we both loved Tom Cruise. To tell the truth, it was kind of awkward -- but it's not anymore. After spending so much time in Europe promoting our movies, we've become really happy wi--no...surprisingly, we're okay with each other, at least a little bit. She no longer flinches (as much) when I touch her as she did when we first met, and she no longer freaks out (as much) whenever she sees me playing naked pool with the butler and the gardener. She even joins in, every once in awhile. It's so awesome.
Laura Barcella is an Associate Editor at AlterNet.