News & Politics

DURST: Dan Quayle's Steel Trap

Dan Quayle is running for President -- this shifts the focus of late night talk show hosts from the groin of the President and the sleeves of the Chief Justice to the mind of the former Vice President. Which is as unlike a steel trap as Fort Lauderdale is a ski resort.
So, in the midst of Clinton's midterm crisis, the best thing that could happen to the President at the end of opening statements in his impeachment trial, happened. No, not Dale Bumpers. I mean Dan Quayle announcing he is running for the Republican nomination for the Presidency. Not in the year 2000. This year. "Hey, the field's wide open." We're talking the full employment act for comedians for another twenty months. This shifts the focus of late night talk show hosts from the groin of the President and the sleeves of the Chief Justice to the mind of the former Vice President. Which is as unlike a steel trap as Fort Lauderdale is a ski resort. The man who worried if George Bush were assassinated, the next President wouldn't keep him on as Vice President. A boy with grey hair covering a herd of deer inside his head who's learned to look at the headlights without blinking. George Bush wanted a strong economy, Ronald Reagan wanted an impenetrable defense and Dan Quayle wanted a pony. Somewhere in Huntington, Indiana, a Ken Doll is missing and he's running for the Presidency. I owned Ken Dolls. I played with Ken Dolls. And Mr. Quayle, you are no Ken Doll.Will Durst also played with Barbies. Although most of them ran off with G.I. Joes.
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