News & Politics
DURST: You Can't Make Stuff Up Like This
March 31, 2000
You can't make stuff up like this.The Pope apologized for 2000 years worth of crap the Catholics have dished out to the rest of the world, mentioning in passing he was sorry for the injury suffered by the Jews. Injury? The Holocaust was an injury? That's like a press release alluding to a priest being incarcerated for sexual assault as taking a hiatus. Like saying being crushed by a container car full of rosary beads dropped from a crane represents a setback. That's like calling what happened to Jesus, "a nasty scrape."I bet Galileo is holding a 17th century celebration in hell kicking the shit out of Urban VIII. Hope Pope J2 P2 forgives him for this too.Bob Jones University relaxed its stance on interracial dating, but only with written permission from the parents of everybody involved, and the Virgin Mary.I think I've come up with a title for the Democratic Primary: "Valium Thunderdome." Two go in, one wakes up.So I guess we need a title for the Republican Primary. How about: "Chameleonic Toads on Ice With Results."The Wooly Mammoth experts say that while the monster mammals matured sexually at age 18, they didn't have much luck at the dating game until age 35. Sounds a lot like a primitive dotcom society to me.Will Durst has no gigs in Silicon Valley for a while so he's cool.