Harnessing Hollywood

Hands down, no one feigns moral indignity better than Republicans. No one. Take for example the recent over-the-top theatrics by the GOP in response to Whoopi Goldberg's comedy routine at a Kerry-Edwards fundraiser, joking that the President's last name happens to be a double entendre.

Fox News, the sister channel of the network that brought America "My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé" described the incident as "unseemly," Goldberg's routine as "blue material," and even offered "it was an evening al Qaeda could love." Bush's campaign manager Ken Mehlman called the evening a "star-studded hate fest."

While, as Fox News put it, "Whoopi Goldberg making vulgar puns about her anatomy" is out of bounds, it is apparently perfectly acceptable to have someone accused of groping the anatomy of 16 women, Arnold Schwarzenegger, as the primetime speaker at the Republican convention.

Recall Governor Schwarzenegger's response to the groping charges last year: "I have to tell you that I always say, that wherever there is smoke, there is fire. That is true. So I want to say to you, yes, that I have behaved badly sometimes. Yes, it is true that I was on rowdy movie sets and I have done things that were not right which I thought then was playful but now I recognize that I have offended people."

Take note – in the world of unwavering GOP moral certitude, a world in which things are black or white, right or wrong, and you're either with us or against us – crotch jokes are unacceptable; crotch groping is acceptable.

Is this a case of moral relativism? Cognitive dissonance? Plain old-fashioned hypocrisy? Or perhaps something else is at hand?

Could it be that, when it comes to celebrities, Republicans have to take what they can get? After all, the featured "stars" at the 2000 GOP convention were Charlton Heston, Ben Stein, Ricky Schroeder, Steve Young, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, one-time Miss Americas Heather Whitestone and Nicole Johnson, and Bo Derek, who was tragically described in the convention's press release as "a film icon." The GOP's celebrity line-up brings to mind that movie "Weekend at Bernie's."

With incredible, if unintended, irony, in the days after the Whoopi whoop-di-do, Republican strategist Leslie Sanchez said, "We know the truth is that every four years a cavalcade of washed-up Hollywood starlets come out of the woodwork to perform and raise money for the Democratic Party." Who is washed up?

A recent Kerry fundraiser in LA was hosted by Scarlett Johansson, Kirsten Dunst, Ben Affleck, and Leonardo DiCaprio, among other hip Hollywood A-listers, and featured performances by Jack Black's band Tenacious D and Dave Grohl of Nirvana and Foo Fighters fame. The Radio City Music Hall fundraiser in question drew Academy Award winners including Paul Newman, Meryl Streep, and Jessica Lange, musicians such as Mary J. Blige and Dave Matthews, and trendmakers like Sarah Jessica Parker.

Don't take my word for it. Back in August 2000 Bill O'Reilly, in an interview with Schwarzenegger, bemoaned the GOP's dearth of star power: "Now, you are one of the few in Hollywood who actively campaigns for the Republican cause. Bruce Willis has retreated. Tom Selleck is now an independent. It's you and Heston, Charlton Heston. You're alone out there."

Perhaps no one understands the power of celebrity more than the GOP, whose modern-day ideological father was an actor, after all. In 1964, Republican George Murphy, of Broadway and Hollywood fame, was elected to serve as Senator, and that same year, actor Ronald Reagan delivered a nationally televised speech on behalf of the GOP's presidential candidate Barry Goldwater. Goldwater lost in a landslide, but the great conservative communicator was born, Republicans saw the power of celebrity, and two years later Ronald Reagan became Governor of California. The rest, of course, is conservative history.