News & Politics

Lyingest Liars of Them All

The little boys who cried 'the other side is nothing but a bunch of big fat liars.'
One thing you got to say about the Bushies: They sure are consistent. Al Gore? Lying liar. Campaigned with his pants afire. Riddled with the standard falsifying disease endemic to the Democratic Party, most prominently exemplified by his mentors Slick Willie and Hillary "the Human Serpent" Clinton.

Department of Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill, who had the audacity to criticize the administration in these tenuous times? Obviously lying. A dastardly turncoat Democratic mole, who betrayed the good people of this country for purely political reasons. Which purely political reasons, we're not sure. Probably purely political reasons being dictated to him from the secret Clinton agenda-bunker originating deep in the Harlem underground.

Richard S. Foster, the accountant who claimed he was threatened with firing or worse if he ever breathed a word of the true cost ($100 billion more than the bill sent to Congress) of the Medicare Bill: Lying dupe, or lying traitor? We may never know. What we do know is he's making stuff up. Brainwashed, hypnotized, or just a venal little weasel with a Napoleonic complex feebly trying to take down the most compassionate administration in the nation's history with a tapestry of falsehoods, prevarications and perjurious distortions.

Former anti-terrorism czar Richard Clarke? The lyingest of all the lying liars. An evildoer whose testimony before the 9/11 Commission is nothing but a grandstanding load of transparent lies in a pitiable attempt to hype sales of his libelous collection of untruths published by a subsidiary of Viacom which also owns CBS (wink-wink.) Can't seem to keep his whoppers straight; changes stories like a hyperactive chameleon on a plaid kilt. In league with liberal media, the Clintons, Osama bin Laden and Al Franken. Not to mention, has beady little eyes.

Our brave, stalwart President and his loyal band of altruistic acolytes, who ignored the weak, doddering and senile protestations of the entire Commie Pinko Yellow Rat Bastard World by taking this country into a pre-emptive war based on charges of weapons of mass destruction which mysteriously never materialized: pure innocents. Misled newborn duckies whose only mistake was to trust the mean old info wizards at the CIA, most of whom are treacherous flunkies of Al Qaeda sympathizers, i.e.: contributors to John Kerry's campaign, like Jane Fonda.

It sure is easy when you live in a world of good and bad, black and white. And, as we all pretty much know but are loathe to admit, it's even easier when you're the white.

Political comic Will Durst is more of an off- white, beige, tawny, ecru.
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