News & Politics

DURST: Nutria-licious

"The State of Louisiana can't get rid their swamp rat problem, so in the great American tradition of making lemonade when you have lemons, they're trying to market it. All they really need is a decent ad campaign and I'm here to help..."
Let us now address the swamp rat, which goes by the name of Nutria. It's a South American import and has attacked marshes like a horde of swimming buzzsaws. About the size of a small dog with webbed claws, fur so black it has a purplish tint; it also sports two large buck teeth that are orange. Its only natural predator is the alligator but the gators are full.The State of Louisiana can't get rid of them, so in the great American tradition of making lemonade when you have lemons, they're trying to market it. First they tried selling it for its fur. But not even the Russians would buy that so now the state has turned to meat. Hey, guess what, tastes just like chicken. All they really need is a decent ad campaign and I'm here to help.Nutria: the other other white meat.The Swamp rat is once again... your friend.Just eat it.Got Nutria?Nutria: its what's for dinner.Did somebody say McNutria?Swamp Rat: not just for breakfast anymore.Eat different.Five sixths of nutria is fifty percent of nutritious.Will Durst likes chicken, but still...
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