No, California Is Not Falling Into the Sea

I tried to explain the recall to my kid last night. It didn't go very well.

He's only three and a half, but I took him into the voting booth, let him push the buttons and thereby sparked the relentless fusillade of questions that has long made his demographic infamous. The ensuing conversation was a bit surreal (although not half as much as Judy Woodruff's smirking interview of West Wing actor and Schwarzenegger campaign hanger-on Rob Lowe later in the evening) and made the old standby, "Why is the sky blue?" seem like, well, child's play.

Because to explain the recall, of course, I had to try, picking my way, with only small words, to explain what "government" is, how we choose leaders and what they do, why we pay taxes, and all the rest. I also had to explain how one person presumes to lead 33 million others -- "lots and lots and lots of people." I sounded like Arnold himself, full of platitudes about clean water and air and new roads and hospitals, avoiding any messy particulars of how things actually get done, or the hard choices involved. An hour after our trip to the precinct and arriving at an Arianna Huffington election-eve party, my son had ignored most of my civics b.s. and clarified it to its sporting core: We had picked a team and we wanted them to win.

When they didn't, he wanted to know why. The simple answer, which I told him, was that a lot of people liked a man who is in lots of grown-ups' movies and said what people wanted to hear. And, personally, I don't think there's a whole lot more than that going on here.

Forget what the talking heads tell you: California is not falling into the sea, people. And if this is a sign of the coming Apocalypse, it is only the latest of its type. Or have you forgotten the kind of folks we elect here on the left coast? Ronald Reagan, Jerry Brown, George Deukmejian, Pete Wilson, Gray Davis -- those are the governors that have run things here since I was born, and I'm not sure how Arnold could be much worse.

Furthermore, when Arnold gets to Sacramento he is not only going to be bored out of his mind -- Ole' Sack-A-Tomatoes makes his hometown of Graz, Austria look like Paris -- but he's going to find himself stuck firmly between his hack reactionary advisors (never mind the token nods to free-thinkers like Warren Buffet) and the hard-nosed Democratic vet John Burton running the legislature down the street. It won't matter how many East Coast Kennedys he has delightedly sniffing his sweat, the first move is now Arnold's and the Democrats get to play the spoilers. Remember how the government shutdown backfired on the Gingrich gang? A sequel is definitely possible here.

In fact, going down the line, there is actually nothing shocking about last night's results. We are just relearning the same old lessons:

• Americans are -- stop me if you've heard this before -- disconnected from the democratic process and so frustrated with feeling powerless to "be heard" that they are increasingly resorting to clumsy, angry acts of rebellion against anything that can be considered the status quo. Arnold is most definitely a Republican, but he still managed to secure the crucial "a pox on both your houses" vote.
• Elections of individuals are always at their core personality contests, as frustrating as that may be to intellectuals of all political stripes, who want them to be about the facts, the issues, the qualifications and platforms of the candidates. Schwarzenegger had more charisma and effortlessly garnered more media coverage.
• American voters no longer think celebrities or politicians should be held morally responsible for things they do on their "own time." Furthermore, if we like you, you'll be forgiven quickly, as long as you express a bare minimum of contrition.
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