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I Was a Right-Wing Child Star

At 13, I gave a speech at CPAC. Four years later, I renounced conservatives -- and they attacked me for it.

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My past did me some good, though. If I hadn’t seen this childishness I might never have taken the time to let myself breathe, and read philosophy, and develop a new, better sense of humor, not to mention a more mature writing style. An open mind and critical thought are like a metaphorical AA after a long bender on ideological wine: I’m proud to say that this program has gotten me three years sober.

Now, I’m just another white, comic-book collecting, sci-fi watching, film-obsessing, satirizing, sorta stereotypical Jewish nerd who’s never been laid. And no, that’s not the reason I switched, either. Nor did I switch so that I could fit in at NYU in the fall. If you think that’s the case, you obviously don’t know how this stuff works. See, when someone posts a video on YouTube it’s out there in the global consciousness forever. How do you suppose I’ll fit in anywhere, much less in a school environment, with a clip of my nasal rantings about conservatism’s four “pillars” floating around the Web? Do you seriously think such an easily lambasted clip will disappear because I announced I changed my mind? Have you met the users of the Internet?

And no, I’m not a “publicity whore.” If I was just in it for the publicity, I could have called up any number of far-right groups and written any number of things for them. All I wanted was a chance to stand by my guns and show people that I’m no longer the immature kid the world once saw me as.

So this is what this story boils down to: A 17-year-old has different opinions than he did at 13. People may be disappointed by how underwhelming that is, but it’s how the world works. Some people move on with life, mature, and realize that they don’t know everything nor will they ever know everything. Then again, some don’t.

I would love it if a bunch of angry right-wingers stopped saying stupid things about me. I also want a six-pack, a mansion in the Hamptons and a beautiful woman with cans the size of my head. None of these things will happen, and I’m pretty comfortable with that. More accurately, I’m comfortable with who I am, which is all I can ever hope for anyway.

 

Jonathan Krohn is a former conservative, pundit and purveyor of strange speeches. He is a current writer, college student and nerd. His father calls him a "flaming liberal."

 
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