Are Mormon Underwear Magic Between the Sheets?
Stay up to date with the latest headlines via email.
To outsiders there is little more fascinating about the Mormon religion than the secret underwear that Mormon temple initiates are expected to wear day and night. As one former believer put it, “I've been an exmo since 1967. All that time, the underwear questions were the first ones I got from people who found out I had been Mormon. A friend brought it up again last week at lunch.” Another former Mormon agrees: “When people first find out I'm exmo, their first question/comment almost ALWAYS is, ‘So what is the deal with the magic underwear?!’ Honest! People outside the morg are spending WAY too much time thinking about garmies!” ( DC)
(“Garmies” is insider slang for the sacred undergarments prescribed by the religion’s founder, Joseph Smith.)
Some outside interest may be driven simply by curiosity: Mormons have sacred underwear! What do they look like? Or incredulity: Religious leaders can tell women to wear undershirts with special symbols all the time beneath their bras and people do it?! But that’s not the whole story.
The idea of sacred, secret underwear seems a little kinky, at least to some outsiders. Commenters on blogs and forums confess the attraction. “I tell you guys who grew up taking "undergarments" for granted- WE in the not-know find these items fetching indeed [Here in Idaho].” ( Kymba) “Mine had been in the bottom of my closet in a moving box, in a paper bag for 5 years until a couple weekends ago when I modeled them for my boyfriend, he was intrigued by the whole thing and found them to be very sexy.” ( Randy) It only makes sense that some subset of us would find the idea of Mormon undies titillating. They are novel, they are secret, they are taboo, and they are in constant contact with genitalia.
But are they kinky to insiders?
It’s hard to get a balanced sample from active Mormons, because the Garments, as I said, are sacred, and catering to the curiosity of prurient outsiders would violate a covenant sworn during the same temple ceremony in which a Mormon gets authorized to wear the Garment. Unfortunately those who have been fantasizing about a romp in which layers of white cotton create the perfect sense of mystery (or bondage), exMormons offer few words of encouragement. Discomfort seems to be the predominant theme.
I was continuously battling wedgies--often in public; how the people would stare as I would try to wrestle crumpled material out of my crack. Lady DB
If you have ever worn the modern ones you should appreciate the distance these have come. When I first got married they came in a one piece get up with a wide neck so you could step into them. The back had a split crotch (not the kind in kinky panties) but this huge wide sloppy split that would separate under your clothes, leaving a draft in your nether region much of the time. The little panel they sew into the ladies special part was so poorly designed that it would roll and twist till you felt like you were skewered by a roll of old toilet paper. Insanad
Of all of the things about Mo-dom, the thing I miss the least is the underwear. Zapotec
Theologically, Mormon undergarments are said to be symbols of a covenant between God and the believer. Initiates pantomime their own death should they violate this sacred trust. The underwear have sacred symbols drawn from the Masonic Order into which Joseph Smith was initiated shortly before he proclaimed God’s desire that people wear the Garment. True believing Mormons avoid allowing Garments to touch the ground. They may cut off and burn the symbols when a Garment itself is worn out.