News & Politics

DURST: Hillary Clinton's New York To Do List

"Number 2: Sixteen courtside seats to the NBA playoff games. Find out name of teams involved and what the deal is. Hint: get Mandy to debrief Spike Lee. What else is going on? Football or that thing on ice with sticks?"
Hillary Clinton's New York To Do List.-- Find a secure four bedroom apartment with two and a half baths, parking, a fireplace and a view of Central Park for around $1500. Maybe on the East Side near Bloomies. Fed ex Chelsea a key but not him.-- 16 Courtside seats to the NBA playoff games. Find out name of teams involved and what the deal is. Hint: get Mandy to debrief Spike Lee. What else is going on? Football or that thing on ice with sticks?-- Find someone we can trust who can decipher what the hell Sharpton is talking about. See about fast tracking him a temporary ambassadorship to some small nation far far away.-- Double check to make sure security detail includes no off duty New York City cops. Call our buddies at the Arkansas Highway Patrol.-- Need two subway tutors, and a couple of off island translators.-- Opposition research. Where is Rudy's soft spot? Besides the top of his head that is. Ha. Ha. Ha.-- Get Woody Allen to do a fundraiser but keep him the hell away from Chlesea.-- The five boroughs are Manhattan, Brooklyn, Queens, the Bronx and Richmond: what the hell is Richmond? Throw me a bone people.Will Durst is pretty sure Richmond is Staten Island and the environs thereabout.
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