"Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma'am!": Why You Should Have More Quickies
Stay up to date with the latest headlines via email.
I’ll say it right up front: I love quickies.
Sure, I’d like to spend languid hours making implausible, mind-bending, wine-infused love on a gauze-draped bed in a fashionably modern South American boutique hotel overlooking the ocean—but you know, I’m busy.
Like most people, I have a laundry list of unglamorous crap to do—places to go, deadlines to meet. That said, a girl’s still gotta eat. And as far as I’m concerned, sex is as vital to life (in any worth-living scenario, anyway) as food. The good news? Unlike fast food, fast sex is healthy. It’s a quick burst of cardio amid your otherwise sedentary workday, a sultry endorphin injection that allows those pleasure-laden sensations to linger. Quickies generate an enduring buzz that renders one temporarily immune to the mundane and monotonous.
And while there are some people who believe quickies should be relegated to the realm of anonymous, lust-based encounters – and sadly, more than a few of my sisters dismiss them as male-driven dalliances wherein only the boys leave satisfied – my philosophy comes from an alternate universe. I believe the quickie is an absolute cornerstone for building intimacy, and one of the most valuable means of cultivating and preserving it as time rolls on.
Also, to be loquacious and literate, they’re way-hot.
“There are times when all you want is to be pushed up against the wall—or be the one doing the pushing,” says writer/editor Alison Tyler, whose Got A Minute? 60-Second Erotica (Cleis Press, 2010) is a 60-story romp through short-form literary heat. “Fuck the flowers. Screw the sweet nothings. Moments of total, unbridled lust are as important to a relationship as a freight-load of foreplay.”
Tyler, who’s been a master of the art for more than 15 years, likes her erotic fiction “… to the point, loaded with sexual tension and spice.” The stories in Got A Minute? range in length from less than 75 words to a max of 1,500, and reflect her attitude succinctly. “Readers who require a first date before a goodnight kiss probably won’t appreciate it,” she jokes, “but each maintains a unique flavor and impression in your brain.”
Erotica is a delicate matter, even if the actual tale is less than delicate. It’s a genre that can lend itself to ponderousness, but this book doesn’t give any of its gifted wordsmiths the time or space. “Is anything more arousing than giving in to a base, animalistic need?” Tyler asks. “[Those] who crave the heat of a quickie will find exactly the lover they’re looking for.”
Long Island psychologist and sex therapist Joel Block, Ph.D. says it’s unrealistic to expect to engage in full-on sex all the time, “which is why quickies are not optional, they’re damn necessary.” Block, author of The Art of the Quickie: Fast Sex, Fast Orgasm, Anytime, Anywhere (Quiver, 2006), is a clinician on the front line.
“What makes more sense when it comes to our sex lives: the infrequent feast or a frequent delicious snack that creates a hunger for more?” Therapists commonly suggest a massive infusion of romance for exsanguinating relationships. “Schedule, plan, make dates — blah,blah,blah. Lots of us have tried to follow the experts’ advice…but they have it wrong and, full disclosure, I have been among them. Not anymore. It doesn’t work!”
Block believes humans not only need faster, bolder sex — we were designed for it. “And at least on occasion,” he adds, “[we need] a bit of daring. Novelty is required. It’s likely we’ll be in a relationship longer than our ancestors lived.” Couples are prone to fall into patterns and what Block calls the biggest libido-killer of them all: monotony.