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5 Awards For the World's Most Heinous Climate Villains

As the world heats up and extreme weather increases there are a bunch of high-profile people who just don't get it, are handsomely rewarded not to get it, or both.

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The Wegman Report has been thoroughly deconstructed by John Mashey at Deep Climate, who found it to be full of plagiarized sections, distorted data and unwarranted conclusions. This was too much even for George Mason, so Wegman is currently under formal investigated by his own university.

Corporate Teats: Far Right think tank money, originating from Koch Industries, Exxon Mobil, Chevron, and Peabody Coal.

Most Egregious Lie: "Our findings from this analysis suggest that authors in the area of paleoclimate studies are closely connected and thus 'independent studies' may not be as independent as they might appear on the surface."

Comeuppance: Fired from George Mason for fraud, gets an assignment from the Heartland Institute to produce a report on the volume, consistency and taste of Michael Mann's stool.

Glenn Beck, Professional Histrionic

Misdeeds: Has no expertise on any subject whatsoever, yet manages to have opinions about everything, including evolution, Islam and global warming. Instinctively distrusts anything that has been proven by empirical evidence. Whips crowds into a frenzy about taxes and socialism, and solemnly warns about the ethics of academic climate scientists. Is the heir apparent to Joe McCarthy in exemplifying the Death of the American Dream, through ignorance, paranoia, and megalomania. Repeats every lie about global warming that Fox and the oil companies feed him, then holds a summer rally at the Lincoln Memorial about "restoring honor."

Corporate Teats: Fox Broadcasting, and advertisers such as Exxon, Peabody and Georgia Pacific (a Koch company).

Most Egregious Lie: "Global warming is a hoax."

Comeuppance: Turned into an actual puppet by George Soros, made to perform a nightly rendition of "Fame" outside Jackpot, Nevada.

4. Slimy Politician Award
 

Ken Cuccinelli, Attorney General of Virginia

Misdeeds: Unstoppable diarrhea of the mouth. Will swim across a river of dog shit if there's a camera on the opposite bank. In addition to suing the federal government over healthcare reform, being a rampant homophobe and prudishly covering the breast of Vitus on the Virginia state seal, this Tea Party favorite unsuccessfully tried to prosecute climate scientist Michael Mann for "fraud." Wants to criminalize climate science itself, and tried to subpoena 10 years of 39 scientists' private emails with Mann in an effort to prove wrongdoing. Parrots bullshit from Koch-supported nutter sites, such as the claim that climate scientists lie about global warming in order to secure grant money.

Corporate Teats: Obvious errand boy for the energy companies who helped elect him with dough funneled through the US Chamber of Commerce to the Republican Attorneys General Association. Nakedly ambitious, he's basically already running for governor, so he can really cash in.

Most Egregious Lie: "The authors (Mann et al) knew, or should have known, that their claims contained false information, misleading and unsubstantiated claims, and/or were otherwise misleading."

Comeuppance: Sentenced to one year of community service legal work by representing one of two competing drug cartels in Michoacán, Mexico.

Mitch McConnell, Senator from Kentucky and Senate Minority Leader

Misdeeds: Possibly the phoniest, most corrupt and physically repulsive lawmaker in 100 years. Makes Richard Nixon look like Abraham Lincoln. Grovels for "campaign contributions" from banking, oil and coal companies, in spite of not having been in a close election for 20 years. Charms desperate and out of work Kentuckians with smarmy warmth.

Performed the incredible feat of gaining a 100 percent Senate voting rating from the US Chamber of Commerce, a zero percent rating from the League of Conservation Voters, and then completed the trifecta by making CREW's annual Most Corrupt Senators list. Canes Senators like Graham and McCain into submission if they threaten a vote that Exxon or Peabody don't approve of.

 
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