5 Awards For the World's Most Heinous Climate Villains
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This was the hottest decade on record and 2010 has been the hottest year on record. Extreme weather and starvation are increasing on every continent, as beetles devour our forests and jellyfish begin to rule the sea. MIT and the Met Office Hadley Centre predict a business as usual 6 degree Celsius surface warming by 2100, and more than that over land. Climatologists call this being "screwed." Response from the oil and coal people? Bend over. What follows is a list of people who just don't get it, are handsomely rewarded not to get it, or both.
1. Evil Twin Awards
David and Charles Koch
Misdeeds: Even more evil than their father Fred, who founded the John Birch Society and railed against communist plots while profiting from the oil refineries he built for Stalin. Koch business operations include coal mining, stealing oil from Indian reservations, pipelines and refineries for Canadian Tar Sands oil, and formaldehyde soaked wood from clearcuts. Wherever there's filth and destruction the boys are on it, like hound dogs rolling in bear shit. Between '05 and '08 alone, the Kochs spent $25 million spreading the ludicrous message that our best scientists are ideological fear mongers, who would use "climate change" to usher in World Government.
Corporate Teat: Koch Industries, with $100 billion annual income. Want some stock? Not for sale; it's all theirs, baby.
Most Egregious Lie: "Since we can't control Mother Nature, let's figure out how to get along with her changes." -- a company newsletter.
Comeuppance: Locked in an underwater exhibit as part of a display at the Smithsonian's $15 million David H. Koch Hall of Human Origins, which whitewashes the dangers of climate change, to demonstrate how people will evolve to live in the rising oceans.
Bill Gates and Warren Buffet
Misdeeds: Pretend to be friends while engaged in a vicious competition to see who ends up with the most expensive coffin. Flew together to inspect the Alberta Tar Sands and ponder investments, looking to add to Buffet's $34 billion Burlington Northern Santa Fe coal-hauling railroad purchase and the Gates Foundation Nigerian oil portfolio. Gates is dumping cash into geo-engineering as a way to "hack" the climate, instead of getting off oil and coal. The duo insist that the government should be responsible for clean energy development, but that we need to tax our citizens to pay for it. They can't be bothered, since they're too busy banking on sure things like fossil fuels.
Corporate Teat: They're the tits, not the pups. Microsoft and Berkshire Hathaway, much of it tax sheltered by the Gates Foundation.
Most Egregious Lie: "We need an energy miracle." Gates' time frame for converting to clean energy is 40 years, giving him and Buffet plenty of years of income from their dirty investments.
Comeuppance: Sent to actually work in an African village health care clinic for one full year.
Harold Lewis and Freeman Dyson
Misdeeds: Back in the 1950's, these two were respected physicists. Now, in the modern age, they've been inexplicably gripped by Satan and/or senility and defected to the anti-science camp. Dyson finally showed his worth to the oil boys by posing as a wise elder, warning about "alarmist" climate science for the New York Times magazine in '08, leading to 4 star hotel rooms and fine meals while addressing denier conferences.
Not to be out-denied, Lewis emerged from 25 years of hiding among Santa Barbara Republicans to mouth off about "Climategate." The media didn't notice that they weren't climate scientists and hadn't published any scientific papers for decades.