8 Signs Meg Whitman May Lack a Human Heart

Meg Whitman has always wanted to be Number One in her field. So although it must rankle Whitman that her $1.3 billion in wealth only ranks her as the fourth richest woman in California, when it comes to ranking “The Most Tight-Fisted Billionaire In The West,” no one comes close to Meg. For all her rosy campaign rhetoric about wanting to help California, unlike most billionaires in her category who go out of their way to make highly public donations to charities and the arts, Whitman has yet to perform a single significant charitable deed for the Golden State, or any state for that matter.

"[C]ompared with other leading Silicon Valley and political figures, Whitman appears to have otherwise invested less time, energy and clout on causes at the state, local and national level," the San Francisco Chronicle reported in 2010. "In contrast to others who have aspired to political office, however, Whitman does not mention any work on commissions, boards, advisory groups, charities or causes in her book or on her Web site.”

The reason she doesn’t mention them, of course, is because Whitman doesn’t work on any commissions, boards, advisory groups, charities or causes that would endear her to anyone but her billionaire peers.

Whitman’s stinginess is rather shocking even by the tight-fisted standards of her Republican comrades. Take for example Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger: He has long been involved in promoting children's fitness, Special Olympics, and he donates his governor’s salary of $175,000 to charities. Gubernatorial candidate Steve Poizner, who competed against Whitman for the Republican nomination, has a long history of engagement in California’s education issues. Even U.S. Senate candidate Carly Fiorina has been a champion of women's economic development in the Third World.

Even with the philanthropy bar set that low, it was still too much for a silver-spoon-fed tightwad like Whitman. What is so strange about this is that even the most rapacious plutocrats and robber barons in American history have made a big show of donating a great part of their riches back to the nation that made it all possible -- even they had a tiny flicker of humanity left in them. No ol’ Meg Whitman. For the Long Island carpetbagger, “charity” means transfering $150 million of wealth she’d soaked out of eBay and plunking it down on advertising agencies to buy herself the governorship of California. You see this sort of thing in corrupt Third World semi-dictatorships like Uzbekistan or Kazakhstan -- the homeland of Borat -- but California? When did California get so pathetic that it’s going to be led by very same sort of corrupt, carpetbagger- oligarch that Borat would proudly support in Kazakhstan?

Hell, Meg even has a Borat son named Griffin, who’s been accused of rape, racism, and violence -- and just like a Kazakh oligarch, Meg Whitman bought her son’s way into Princeton by “donating” $30 million just when Griff was applying to school there. That $30 million so graciously donated to Princeton -- which, you know, when all’s said and done, no one in American needed that $30 million like the desperate Slumdog Millionaires of Princeton -- and that $30 million went to constructing a brand new 500-student dormitory at Princeton named after Whitman. See, she kinda had to do that because he had already been booted out of two expensive prep schools as a kid. You know, what would Meg have done with a son like that if she hadn’t soaked eBay of $1.3 billion? And guess what? Wouldn’tchaknowit, her son Griff just happened to get accepted into Princeton!  So don’t say that all that wealth Meg accumulated hasn’t been put to the best use for all of society! Sure, her son Griff still got investigated by Princeton after being accused of rape and racism, and for his generally violent spoiled behavior -- but hey, in a way that sort of makes Griff a lot like Borat, but when Borat behaves like a racist rapist everyone thinks it’s funny, why don’t you think it’s funny when Griff breaks a Latino girl’s ankle or gets accused of rape? It’s funny, isn’t it?