Republicans Apologize, Grovel to BP

The BP oil spill has put many Republicans in a precarious position – they’re understandably relishing the opportunity to portray President Obama as feckless and weak, but are worried that the crisis is making their pals in the oil industry look pretty bad.

Most of them have steered clear of this quandary by either solely attacking the Obama administration for its belated and inept response to the crisis or by even acknowledging that BP was a particularly bad apple within the oil industry. After all, smart GOP operatives understand that Americans are just as pissed off at big business as they are at the government and that the GOP will blow its chance to retake Congress this fall if it can’t control its authoritarian impulse to hump corporate America’s leg.

Thankfully, though, not all right-wingers have the message discipline of your typical GOP campaign manager and many of them have dutifully gone to bat for our economic overlords at BP. This Thursday, Rep. Joe Barton actually apologized to CEO Tony Hayward for the White House's arrangement with BP to establish a $20 billion fund to pay for damages in the Gulf. If Democrats are smart they'll put the spectacle of a GOP congressman apologizing for America to a British company to good use. Imagine pictures of dead birds and unemployed fishermen with the following voiceover: "Joe Barton has apologized to BP, apparently worried that Her Majesty would be upset for criticizing a company of the Crown. Is this what our Founding Fathers fought and died for? So that Republican Joe Barton could bow before the Queen of England?"

Earlier this week, high-profile spillologist and Mississippi governor Haley Barbour said that “It’s just as possible that what happens here will be manageable and of moderate and even minimal impact.” Barbour further went on to caution against “washing our face in it” but said the spill could still render the ocean safe enough to allow “jumping off the boat to ski.” Perhaps Barbour is trying to attract more Satanists to come visit his state, since I’m sure they’re the only ones who would find water skiing amidst dead dolphins appealing.

But wait, it gets worse for our pal Haley! When the Obama administration did something useful and scored the escrow account, Barbour expressed “concern” that the fund could cut into BP’s profits. Hey Haley, that’s sort of the point. As any student of Econ 101 knows, firms respond to incentives. And if we can take away oil companies’ incentives to be reckless buffoons that destroy entire ecosystems, well, that’s a pretty good thing.

(On the plus side, Barbour’s reaction was still saner than Michele Bachmann’s, as the Tea Party star called the escrow account a “redistribution of wealth fund.”)

The Republican Study Committee issued a statement slamming the fund, with Rep. Tom Price accusing the administration of "Chicago-style politics" and seemingly scolding BP for agreeing to sort of take responsibility for their actions. Said Price, "BP's reported willingness to go along with the White House's new fund suggests that the Obama administration is hard at work exerting its brand of Chicago-style shakedown politics. These actions are emblematic of a politicization of our economy that has been borne out of this administration's drive for greater power and control."

Rush Limbaugh somehow managed to make it about ACORN: "Who's gonna get this money? Union activists? ACORN people? Who's gonna get this money?"

The wingnuts have been valiantly defending the poor oil giant for a while now.