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Why Would a Woman Pay for Sex?

Just because it’s not talked about doesn’t mean it’s not happening: Women, like men, are paying for sex. Here's why.

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Why buy the cow when you can get the beef for free?

Storm Astor, an international companion, confirms that he’s been hired by a variety of women for a variety of reasons, but what all have in common is the desire to be completely catered to and satisfied. This treatment is hard to come by in random hook ups and brief relationships: “Sure, a lady can get sex anywhere in a bar or a night out without paying for it, but tell me how many walk away completely satisfied and happy?”

Furthermore, women are just as susceptible to clingy men as men are to clingy women. As Logan states, “[My clients want] a no strings attached encounter in which the guy leaves when it is over.” Similarly, the irritation of a one-night stand who won’t stop calling should not be underestimated. A professional isn’t going to send late night “r u horny?” texts or show up at a woman’s front door after her boyfriend’s back from his business trip. Rivas confirms: “The single most important thing I offer my clients is discretion and respect for their private lives.”

Some of the male courtesans’ touting of good conversation and advice while shopping gives the impression that women are only into the soft porn version of sex workers, rest assured that female clients can get just as raunchy as male. Kat, a stripper in Portland, says, “There are ladies who get really wild and are worse horndogs than male customers.” It’s a situation that dancer Malice confirms: “Most women who come into strip clubs think that they are above the no touching rule because they have vaginas.”

Ryan St. Germain, a former webcam performer, found that his most regular female client even became possessive at times, and eventually spent so much time in private shows with him that she became nearly half his income. (While gender assertions over the Internet are notoriously suspect, this particular customer not only sent pictures, but spoke with St. Germain by phone.)

Unequal Expectations

Mistress Alex, a New York Domme, affirms that women are often looking for an experience just as sexually intense as that sought after by male clients. One of her female clients complained about unsatisfying sessions with dominatrices she’d hired in the past; the providers seemed to be holding back because their subject was a woman and therefore presumed to be more delicate or less lusty.

Alex has ventured out into the sex industry as a client herself and found the exploration to be similarly disappointing. “I ended up getting a really expensive nude backrub,” she says. “They were kind of baffled. Maybe they weren’t into women.”

Yet many female providers relish the opportunity to work for a woman. Malice loves female customers and even markets herself specifically towards them: “I worship them … It’s amazing that I get to dance for women more than men. I do it for the love honestly, it’s hard to even take their money.”

Kat claims that a lesbian regular patron of hers was “one of my favorite customers of all time.” Even men who are marketed towards other men—as was St. Germain when working on the “guy side” of his webcam site—might appreciate the occasional female customer. “Women [were] more inclined to explore than male clients,” says St. Germain. “I found it more satisfying working with a female client because I felt like I had more ability to contribute to the fantasy. I often felt I was just a physical manifestation of an existing idea with a man.”

 
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