The Newest Diet Trend: What Would Jesus Eat?
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"Jesus ate a great many fruits and vegetables" and never mixed dairy with meat, Colbert tells us. "He did not eat animal fat. ... We can follow His example by choosing to eat whole-grain breads and pastas."
Wanna eat whole-wheat fettuccini with Jesus? Colbert's cool advice continues as he explains that "God's initial plan was for man to be a vegetarian." Genesis 1:29, after all, has God saying: "I have given you every herb that yields seeds ... and every tree whose fruit yields seeds; to you it shall be for food." Thus ensued humankind's "vegetarian period," which lasted "from Adam to Noah," in which people "lived very long lives. Adam lived 930 years, Seth 912 years, Enos 905 years, Jared 962 years, and Methuselah 969." Why? "Some speculate that the oxygen of the earth was much greater at the time before the Flood. ... Some speculate that there was a moisture barrier around the earth that resulted in a higher barometric pressure." Antediluvian folks also possibly had more access to phytonutrients, the doctor adds.
"We can follow His example by adding more fish to our diet," writes this author of The Bible Cure for Weight Loss and Muscle Gain, The Bible Cure for High Blood Pressure, The Bible Cure for Prostate Disorders, The Bible Cure for Depression and Anxiety, The Bible Cure for Irritable Bowel Syndrome, The Bible Cure for Allergies andThe Bible Cure for Candida and Yeast Infections, "and by taking fish oil supplements."
And hark: He sells those supplements. Colbert's Divine Health brand offers 270 fish-oil capsules for $49.99. Other Divine Health products include a 300-capsule, $184.99 bottle of the soy extract polyenylphosphatidylcholine, which Quackwatch's Stephen Barrett declares has "no proven value." Examining the label of Divine Health's 60-capsule, $29.99 bottle of the hormone 7-Keto DHEA, Barrett remarks that the product is "said to enhance the immune system and memory. I don't believe that."
And the Lord saith "Sell" as well at Hallelujah Acres, a North Carolina-based farm, ministry, supplement company, seminar center, office complex, restaurant, health-food emporium, "healthy-living housing development" and online empire founded in 1992 by the Rev. George Malkmus, who opened another center in Canada in 1998 and whose many programs include "60 Days to a Hallelujah Waistline."
Having become a Christian during his early 20s at a Billy Graham rally in Madison Square Garden in 1957, Malkmus claims he cured himself some 20 years later of colon cancer -- featuring a "baseball-sized tumor" -- by adopting a diet based on Genesis 1:29, which he trademarked as the Hallelujah Diet: 100 percent vegan, 85 percent raw, and supplemented by Hallelujah Acres BarleyMax, a powdered barley-leaf and alfalfa-juice compound selling for $39.95 per 8.5-ounce jar.
"The Hallelujah Diet is based on the physical nourishment as intended from our Provider," we read at the Hallelujah Acres Web site. And: "The Hallelujah Diet has helped relieve the symptoms of acid reflux, obesity, cancer and more." The site proffers recipes for yummy-looking smoothies, raw soups, nut patties, shredded-vegetable "spaghetti" and such entrees as "Oriental rice," along with hundreds of testimonials such as these:
"During the first MONTH on the diet my night blindness disappeared, my ten-year chronic sinus condition completely cleared up, my fibromyalgia disappeared, no more heartburn, and all my arthritis pains simply vanished."
"My cancer was set at stage 1-C, with CA 125 blood test level of 500 (Normal is 35). When I had the blood test again at the end of October, just four weeks after changing my diet, the count was down to 22! HALLELUJAH! and I have lost 50 pounds, an added blessing."