It's 10pm, Do You Know?

By Joy Lanzendorfer, North Bay Bohemian. Posted November 5, 2002.

Brad, 15, has had oral sex with three different partners, only one of whom was his girlfriend. The other two girls were "just friends," he says.

It's common among his friends for girls to perform fellatio on boys they aren't dating. In fact, he says, they do it all the time--at parks, parties, and even at school.

Ashley, 14, agrees with Brad. She says that oral sex is definitely more common than intercourse among the teens she knows. She first performed fellatio when she was 11, she says, but most of her friends started later, around 12 or 13. Though she says that at her school people don't have oral sex with friends like they do at Brad's school, in most cases it's the girls doing the giving, often because they feel they have to in order to keep their boyfriends.

"Girls don't have to sleep with their boyfriends, but boys will say, 'Give me a blow job, or I'll break up with you,'" she says.

Whitney, 16, hasn't had oral sex because it's "nasty," but she says that almost everyone she knows has done the deed.

"My friends tell me that I'll like it if it ever happens to me," she says. "They tell me that giving it is not so bad."

Of the 25 teens interviewed, almost all said that the girls performed fellatio on the boys. The only time the guys reciprocated was when the girls were their girlfriends. In a few cases, as Ashley described, some girls seem to feel they have to perform oral sex to keep the guy's interest. Alcohol and drugs are sometimes part of the equation. Several teens described the girls who casually perform oral sex as "druggies."

The drawbacks for girls in this situation are obvious and typical. As well as potential infection, girls also face long-standing preconceptions about sexual availability--being "easy" if they "give it up" to a boy.

However, oral sex doesn't always fit into the same category as intercourse. In today's girl-power world, some girls view oral sex as a means to assert control over when and how they are sexual. Some may even use oral sex as a way to maintain their virginity while still pleasing their boyfriends.

A Kiss Goodnight

These North Bay teens are part of a growing segment of teenagers embracing a more casual view of oral sex. Healthcare professionals and educators alike are starting to see evidence that teens as young as middle school are viewing oral sex as a fun activity to be done among friends. Some even view it as another kind of kissing. Often, teens see oral sex as a safer alternative to vaginal sex, because they are unaware that STDs can be transmitted through oral sex.

On the May 7 episode of the Oprah Winfrey Show, Winfrey and her psychological sidekick Dr. Phil, who recently launched his own show, showcased a group of teens who shared this new, casual view of oral sex. Shocked parents and audience members watched as teens described having oral sex with people they weren't dating, simply because they wanted to. The teens said that parents who thought of oral sex as intimate and to be done after vaginal sex were old-fashioned. The show called oral sex the new "spin the bottle."

But Winfrey's show was not the first to tackle this issue. Back in 1997, articles appeared in major newspapers such as the New York Times, Washington Post, and USA Today talking about this new trend. While the anecdotal information continues, few studies have emerged giving factual data on how serious this issue has become.

However, a 2000 study by the Alan Guttmacher Institute in New York revealed that there was a lack of information among teens on oral sex and other noncoital behaviors, such as mutual masturbation and anal sex. According to the study, "many teenagers perceive oral sex as safer and less intimate than intercourse. Teenagers seem to be especially misinformed about the STD risks of oral sex."

How serious is this issue in the North Bay? Are more local teens practicing oral sex, or is this another example of media exaggeration?

"In the past five years, we have seen an increase in oral sex among teens," said Barbara Branagan, RN, Sonoma County's Public Health Services director and head of the Sonoma County Public Health Clinic. "Teens are definitely more casual about oral sex and view it differently than other generations have. Some teens are having it at parties, in groups, and they don't see anything wrong with it."

Just how many students are doing this remains a question. Branagan is quick to point out that she does not believe the majority of teens are having oral sex, just that her clinic has seen an increase.

Branagan acknowledges the girl-power issue plays a role. "It's almost as if the girls are getting a kind of reversed power out of it," she said. "Instead of sex, which is thought of as something boys do to girls, they are doing the oral sex to the guys."

Of the 25 teens--between ages 13 and 17--interviewed for this article, the results were mixed. While plenty of teens had views like Brad and Ashley, almost an equal number have not had oral sex, and several of them called it "immoral behavior."

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