Terrifying: Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly Freak Show Coming to Your Town

How much would you pay for the opportunity to watch Glenn Beck and Bill O'Reilly scream nonsense at each other?

Self-proclaimed rodeo clown Glenn Beck and really mean, yelly clown Bill O'Reilly are teaming up and coming to a town near you!

That is, if you're lucky enough to live near Westbury, New York, Tampa, Florida, North Charleston, South Carolina or Norfolk, Virginia. If you live in other places, here's what you'll miss when the "Bold and Fresh" tour, which is probably not intended to sound like an ad for douche, hits the road:

1.Hearing the truth, against your will.The promotional site threatens "Enough is enough -- it's time for the truth from somebody who'll give it to you straight, whether you like it or not."

2.Getting bitten by Bill O'Reilly. Here's the second threat of violence: "And you know how they say that some men's "bark" is worse than their "bite?" With Bill... yeah, not so much. As Bill puts it, "My teeth are in good shape."