PEEK

GOPer: Fire Those Lefty Labor-Lovin' Cops and Bring in Private Mercenaries!

A vision of things to come?

Editor's note: this is a satirical look at one possible future for Macon, Georgia, based onthis real-world story from the past week.

I have seen the future, my friends, and it is hilarious.

Last night I was struck by a prophetic dream in which RedState doofus and Macon city councilor Erick Erickson has succeeded in his quest to save his town from the scourge of its police department. Join with me, friends, as we gaze into the crystal ball…

Erickson dissolves Macon police department

City councilor Erick Erickson today declared that his successful bid to abolish the police department in Macon was a triumph for free-market capitalism and for freedom-loving Tea Party patriots everywhere.

“Ridding our fair city of this pestilence will bring in a new era of freedom that will serve as a model for the rest of American to follow!” bellowed Erickson, who was dressed in his customary powdered wig and triangle hat. “Eliminating the police department is just the start of my bold agenda to downsize government in Macon. Memo to the firefighters: your asses are next!”

When asked who would be responsible for arresting and detaining criminals in Macon now that the city had no organized police force, Erickson blinked his eyes for five seconds before muttering, “What?”

 

Brad Reed is a writer living in Boston. His work has previously appeared in the American Prospect Online, and he blogs frequently at Sadly, No!.