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10 of the Most Obscenely Stupid Right-Wing Conspiracy Theories and Attacks Against the President

Obama's nefarious plan for the nation's genitals? His evil designs on your children? Here are the most absurd right-wing assaults on the president -- and logic and reason.

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Naturally, the fringe decided that Obama was asking people to report on their neighbors. And, of course, Republican lawmakers irresponsibly and shamelessly joined the fray, with Texas Sen. John Cornyn, for example, accusing Obama of compiling an "enemies list" and demanding the site be shut down.

An Expansion of AmeriCorps. The Horror!

And finally, what does Obama plan to do with all those kids he brainwashes during his speech today?

Wait, with diabolical patience, until their teeny little arms grow strong enough to wield heavy weaponry so he can draft them into his massive domestic paramilitary force. At least that appears to be a fear held by Beck, who has said Obama's "civilian national security force" is like Hitler's SS, or something Saddam Hussein would do.

Michelle Bachmann warned of a massive effort to herd kids into re-education camps. What were they talking about? The expansion of AmeriCorps and the Peace Corps.

And there you have it: Public discourse in 2009.

Tana Ganeva is an associate editor at AlterNet.