The 8 Weirdest Ways to Go Green

Think you've heard every creative and inventive way to go green? Here are some sensible suggestions – but if your tastes tend towards the wackier end of the green spectrum, you'll have a blast with the following ideas.

The Slime's Where All the Flavor Is

They're nutritious, free range, a touch rubbery, and have graced the plates of Europeans for thousands of years. Instead of picking the snails off your lettuce, why not add them to your salad? High in protein and low in fat, these sustainably foraged appetizers will just slip down.

A Golden Future for Our Environment

When you're caught short, head for the garden. That's what the Pee Outside movement believes, citing the 3 gallons of water used every time the toilet flushes. Since exposing yourself in daylight is generally frowned upon, please grit your teeth until nightfall – remember, it's for the planet.

Energy from Motion (the Other Kind)

In a form of alchemy beyond even the wildest dreams of Isaac Newton, the Sintex turns our poop (and other organic waste) into enough energy to run our homes. Elsewhere, dirty diapers are turned into diesel fuel. In the search for the next big sustainable energy source, we'd be wise to start at the bottom.

Oh! What a Lovely Green War

It's a dilemma for the eco-conscious military man: is there a sustainable way to bomb 10 shades of cr*p out of the enemy? Now there is, with the low-fallout, low pollution eco-bomb, because some smoking craters are greener than others. Alternately, why not just aim for the real deal?

Skimpies Your Man Will Love (if His Phone Powers Out)

Ever shimmied along the beach in a two-piece number, wondering if your iPod had enough charge left in it? You'll need the Solar Powered USB Bikini, then. As you're a walking electrical supply, it's probably best to avoid the water. Or if you like to parade through the sunshine in your smalls, why not try this multifunctional organic cotton outfit complete with solar panel and cleavage-mounted drinks dispensers? There are some designers out there who are deeply single.

Tasty, Tasty Weeds

Why should goats have all the fun? Before we discovered how to process food until it barely sustains us, we ate things straight out the ground wherever we found them. It's still possible, as we illustrated yesterday (and here's a British version, courtesy of Guardian Environment), but oh boy, you'd better be sure you've got the right plant.

Commuting, Getting Fit and Looking Dumb for People in a Hurry

Never mind that cycling and walking have been popular for hundreds of years and forever, respectively – some people think they're a waste of good exercise-time. The Floating Human-Powered Gym wants you to tone up as you lift-share – while the Speedfit wants to, well, make you look bloody stupid. Nothing wrong with generating energy as you work out, but exercise some common sense.

Don't Wave Flags: German Football Fans Score Own Goal for Environment

When proud German football supporters fixed flags over their cars in the run-up to the Euro 2008 football season, the Austrian automobile club cried foul, claiming that it was bad for the planet. It seems that a fluttering flag reduces the fuel economy of your car, draining the world's remaining oil reserves and kicking us shrieking into the dark ages. How utterly selfish.