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Chris Brown Issues Infuriating, Self-Serving Apology

Isn't beating up women one of those things where an "I'm sorry, I'll never do it again" doesn't make everything OK?
 
 
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In a video posted on YouTube today, Chris Brown insists that he is very, truly, really sorry ... for doing something bad in February that he studiously avoids naming. A sure sign, of course, that his apology for allegedly beating up his girlfriend Rihanna represents a heartfelt expression of remorse, rather than a p.r. statement drafted by lawyers.

Anyway, another reason you know he really, really means it is by the way he keeps repeating how truly, really sorry he is, while widening his eyes and leaning into the camera. Oh, and because he keeps talking about his mom and his sister (both women, see).

Some representative bits:

I have told Rihanna countless times and am telling you today -- I am truly, truly sorry ... that I wasn't able to handle the situation both differently and better.

I've done a lot of soul searching over the past several months and talked to my minister and my mother. And I spent a lot of time trying to understand what happened and why ... I have let a lot of people down. And no one is more dissapointed in me than I am...

I will do everything in my power to make sure that it doesn't happen again. And I promise that.

He ends with a plea:

I can only ask and pray that you forgive me...Please! I hope that others learn from my mistake. I intend to live my life so that I'm truly worthy of the term role model.

 

 
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