Friday Fun: News of the Weird

Come on, it's Friday afternoon, the blood sugar's a bit low and you don't want to be all serious about stuff any more than I. So how about some odd stories (courtesy of various sources, but with a special nod to Chuck Shephard's Weird Universe):

Item:

A woman called 911 to report she didn't get as much shrimp as she wanted in her fried rice at a Texas restaurant.

Haltom City police on Tuesday released the taped emergency call, in which the customer is heard telling the dispatcher "to get a police officer up here, what has to happen?"

Item:

A man was stabbed after causing a stink — literally — in a motel room while eating with a friend, police said.

Five men from the Houston area were sharing a Waco motel room Tuesday night, and two were inside the room eating when one had a flatulence problem, Waco police Officer Steve Anderson said. One man was so upset about the gas that he threw a large knife at him, cutting his leg, and then stabbed him in the chest, Anderson said.

Note: if the dude had bought the farm I wouldn't be laughing about it; his injuries were "non life-threatening."

Oh, this next one did involve a death, so never mind ...

Item:

A distraught woman jumped 60 feet to her death at the crowded Queens Center Mall Wednesday, landing on a teenager relaxing in a massage chair.

Let's say we're not laughing at the woman committing suicide, but at the teenager -- whom we'll call "surly" for effect -- relaxing in a massage chair at the time.