Rush Limbaugh Threatens to Break Up With New York

In a shocking development bound to send panic through the streets of New York, Rush Limbaugh has threatened to sell all of his NY properties and move to Texas if the state institutes a plan to tax residents who make over $500,000. Confronted with Limbaugh’s threat, NY officials did not beg the portly talk show host to reconsider.

Limbaugh added that high earners like himself would WORK LESS if faced with more taxes on their income, because, you know, when our commie government redistributes all your wealth to welfare moms, what’s the point? Though in Limbaugh’s case, this threat is especially hilarious since he probably couldn’t be pried from his microphone by the reanimated corpse of Stalin.

I for one -- and many residents of New York State may be with me here -- would be totally OK if a state tax sapped Limbaugh’s puritan work ethic. How great would it be if the talk show host, discouraged from his intensely difficult labor by higher taxes, traded in spewing uninformed, hate-filled crap on the radio for lounging on some beach mainlining crushed prescription pills?

Sniffed Limbaugh: