aah yes, other human activity as well,that is, individuals passing gas and lighting them up with matches, can alter the stresses and strains in their living room environments causing severe distress to their family members on saturday evenings after a meal of beans.

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Sorry but this is 9 maybe 10 on the Mulder/Scully scale. I am not doubting that scientists will be able to trigger Earthquakes at some point in the future if they so choose, but it seems complete balderdash to suggest they have been doing it for 30+ years.

I get how they could be weaponised, yeah its scientificly possible/plausible but the reasoning why is nuts... Natural disasters have a way of uniting people and can help troubled leadership by giving them the ability to respond in a manner that makes them look good or showing up complete and utter incompetence... the thing is I doubt anyone could predict which effect will happen.

As for weird lights seen "before" earthquakes and the like... these kids of things are reported all the time afterwards... Its part of human nature to try and see why these things happened and what warning signs might have been seen before hand that if only had been listened to...

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...in the article about underground nuclear detonation, readily observed on seismographs around the world.

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Surely, the only way to avoid future catastrophes is to enact a worldwide Tremor Tax.

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Why is alternet scaring its readers with stories about weaponized earth=quakes?

Have the editors decided to embrace the cold war ethic after all?

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Funny how so many 'conspiracy theories' regarding the Bush admin have become common knowledge.
Consider even Van Dakiens Chariots of the Gods- If we are moving farther out in space, why assume no other beings have done it before Us?Various people around the world building similar buildings, using megalithic stones, similiar legends, similiar 'predictions'. It is far less logical to think they all came to these ideas independently without having some form of contact with a common source.
We already do controlled Avalanches, Burns. We have vast number of satallites picking up and sending out information, why not focused energy to a specific area?Man has always worked to control the effects of Nature- from building shelters to forecasting. Why not try to instead actually control it, not just it's effects.Seems that would be the real Proof of Mans conquest over nature.
Unfortunatley, like children we are drawn to the gun, but don't comprehend it is loaded and can go off easily. We haven't even completely comprehended the human body- should we expect to understand the Earths biological mechanisms any better?
Intellegence is a gift,but understanding the fact we are not fully cognizant of how everything works is Wisedom.since we have repeated shown ourselves the side effects of some of our 'intellegent' ideas, you'd think we would start thinking more about the Ramifications before we delved in further.
Perhaps we were 'helped' in our intellegence, but left with our innate predatory instincts,just to see if we ever develope Wisedom.A Lion can kill a hyena easily, but is not stupid enough to take on a pack of them just because he's hungry- Wise choice.

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All his liberating technologies are forbidden, including free energy and disease eradication. No mention of tesla in any library

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EARTHQUAKE MACHINE

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We can induce earthquakes from thousands of miles away, can intensify and steer hurricanes, control crowds through EM fields bounced off the ionosphere but we can't bring down two 110 story buildings without anyone knowing about it.

That takes an "act of god" and/or incompetent sructural engineering.


What was that about fools, consistency and hobgoblins. Oh yeah.

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Once again, last week I made a comment speculating about how we might be triggering earthquakes by releasing pressures underground in the forms of oil and water extraction, and this week there is an article about just this very thing.

Sychronistically it could just show how great minds lie in the same gutter and how once an area of the thought pool is opened up anyone can find it. Lord knows I'll never get around to writing a damn article and getting it published, so have at it. Tap my muse! The idea is all that's important anyway.

Good call on the nuke testing! I've pondered that one too. How about an article next week on melting ice caps changing the weight distribution of the planet and possibly it's orbital relationship with the moon and sun. Just testing my theory... ;o)

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I'm not qualified to know how serious and how correct all this is, but the first response to almost any given piece of new scientific knowledge is for the US military to determine how many people they can kill with it.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGOdOuufvz0

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This is support for technology being used against the population of the world. Its main goal is control of food and water through weather modification, but the vast vast expense of this program, as well as the classified technology of corporations such as Time Domain Corporation, suggest even greater goals are being obtained in conjunction with the attempt to lock down food and water.

Monsanto Corporation is also deeply involved in this illegal take-over, and many others. Electro-sensitivity of the soil itself will only allow gm crops to crow eventually. Get it? I knew you would.
Ionization of these sprayed particles also causes many forms of radiation to rain down upon the as yet unsuspecting populace of the world, as well as lensing programs to dehydrate land, dry up water sources,
AND START FIRES. The first lie of the NWO is that a shield is needed because the atmosphere has been depleted -- it is too bad that THEY themselves can now deplete the atmosphere at any time and thus CREATE THAT NEED.

The true crux of the program is to create conductivity within all life on the surface of the planet, by spraying conductive materials which inevitably end up in the soil, the water, the air, and the food. Great inroads have been made in the last few decades concerning electronic,
DandDBroadCasTING2 (10 hours ago) Show Hide
coercion through thought entrainment and other electronic stimulus; some examples of this include Paperclip, mk-ultra, pandora, and the work of the so-called doctor delgado.

Spraying of conductive materials was preceded just slightly with the widespread use of cell phones, and it is a fair and reasonable contention that the cell phones are just a cover for the deployment of broadcast towers everywhere, a necessary adjunct to electronic mind control and automated law enforcement.
DandDBroadCasTING2 (10 hours ago) Show Hide
Look around yourselves, the evidence is before your eyes. Towers everywhere and daily spraying of chemicals in American skies, as well as all over the world, will give you a fair clue of just what the new world order with its nazi connections is all about.
Electro-sensitivity is being created so that the populace will respond in a predictable way to various forms of broadcast energy being used for control and coercion. There are also implants being used on a broad scale, in places such as-
veterans hospitals, and certain dental labs, and these are used also for coercion, and act as tracking devices too. Finally, the two bush gulf wars were nothing but testing fields for biotech infections that react to electronic broadcast fields. Now, enemies of the State in the US are systematically targeted by The Brothers cadre within the bush cia for coercion through direct pain. It is more than unfortunate that most of the medical records pertaining to the first bush gulf war have now
destroyed. They were stored in the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City, when it was demolished by individuals possessing all the symptoms of advanced nazi mind control science.
Broadcast towers are simply the means to control the mass. The hard cases are targeted with handheld and airborn fields which cause accelerated growth of funguses and cancers the freedom fighters have been intentionallly infected with.
No one can escape this attack on the world by a few degraded non-human animals,

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HAARP is not unique. The Soviets were said to have deployed this technology in the '70s. That would align better with the '76 earthquake --- retribution for the Chinese-Nixon detente?

The Alaskan facility did not go online until the mid '90s, and did not reach full power (billions of watts) until recently.

It is designed to project focused energy into the ionosphere; in other words, it heats the atmosphere at a given location. Seems to me this might be useful in controlling weather, although clearly, from the weather we've been having lately (Katrina, Gustav, Ike), it doesn't work very well --- or it's being directed by the oil companies against their own production facilities. (They wouldn't do that, would they?).

There are said to be a dozen of these things around the world. Are they working at cross-purposes? Is their cumulative effect resulting in "global warming" or the appearance of same? (Could the "global warming" campaign be disinfo to disguise the effects of these powerful atmospheric heater?)

Since its military applications are secret, there's no way for the American public or its elected representatives to know how it's being used, or misused. Like the "Kremlin watchers" of old, we are forced to try to connect the dots.

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If the area of an earthquake is composed mostly of quartz, (a form of silicon dioxide) like 80% of the earth's crust is, then there's a good chance that piezoelectric action created balls of plasma. These would light up the sky and burn things as they disintegrated. They would jump out of the ground as seismic pressures were rearranged in the bedrock. So there is a natural explanation for pre-earthquake lights and burns.

Tesla's tower at Wardenclyffe was dismantled and sold for scrap metal - that seems very bizarre. Surely an energy weapon built by a one of a kind genius would be more important than a few pennies on the pound. But there's one thing we do know for sure: the people who are obsessed with developing high tech weapons are completely evil and insane.

Sure there's no mention of Tesla in history class, there's no mention of the sociopathic agenda either.

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I am an insane person, but my eyesight is good. During the north ridge earthquake in california i jumped from bed and got out side. Looking at the santa monica mountains behind my house i saw distinct flashes of balls of lightning. My first thought was power lines were forced into oscillations causing them to contact and short. But then I considered piezoelectric effects and that seemed a better explanation since the flashes of light seemed to be coming from places were there were no power lines. So yes folks, there are plasma discharge flashes during some earthquakes.

After the large devastating earth quake in indonesia (dec 24, 2005 i think) some one suggesting that mother nature and or Gaia were pissed off at the destruction of nature and global warming by man and was retaliating. Yeah right, I uttered (to myself). But this ain't so far fetched. Global warming has reduced the mass of ice on Antarctica by trillions of tons (my estimate) and this relieving of pressure would naturally lead to a floating of the continent, a shifting of the Antarctic plate, and earthquakes. So who knows. More research is needed.

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When still a preteen, I read an issue of Captain Marvel in which the evil scientist Dr. Savanna planned to create chaos for fun and profit by inducing a giantic earthquake with a humongous mallet powered by....who knows what? For those with a good memory, Captain Marvel was written on two levels, one for children (thrills & chills), and the other, for adults (humor). Alas, soon after this, along came the idiotic Comics Code (C. 1952), and away went some of the best comics ever. The same pathetic ignorance is alive and well today, what with some people using their meagre imaginations to decry evil science as the cause for this and that. They convienently ignore the fact that intellectually-challenged bureaucrats are usually the ones who make most of the boneheaded and evil decisions in this world, despite warnings from scientists. Putting a heavy weight over an area known to be geologically unstable is but one example.

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to keep pumping all of the oil from beneath the earth's crust and we will have all kinds of unintentional earthquakes worldwide that will be mankinds doing and demise. There won't be any selective earthquake maneuvering.

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Most folks under 30 don't remember the spate of quakes we had in the late 1980's and early 90's. Nor do they remember how the truth about them was 'leaked' out. it was by punching John Glenn in the face. Yes a punch in the face brought out the truth.

The young man who nailed Glenn in the face did so,not to make a name for himself by decking a sitting Senator,but to get 'camera time' from the newsjockies that trailed around Congresspeople in the early days of 24hr news.

What got said?? Star Wars was operational,made by Mcdonald Douglas,and used to create earthquakes and there would be more coming. The proof of it was given to Gorbachov on his vist to the US and he had to hastily return home to the devastation that was wrought.Shortly after the Wall came tumbling down.

To prove our 'badass nature' just like every criminal gang,we had to whack our own so....
hello Mt. St. Helens, Mexico City, San Francisco, and L. A.. Have you ever stopped to wonder why the highway systems around San Fran and L A were'nt choaked with car,trucks and buses,like they should have been, given the high traffic times those quakes hit. Careful planning and redirection does the trick.

To make Star Wars a viable system they needed to make a change,a change in the kind of laser it used. When first deployed Star Wars couldn't hit the broadside of a barn,why? Because it worked on a 'hot laser' principle. One that became uncontrollable in the atmosphere of the Planet. So it was change to a 'Cold Laser'. Much more controllable and had a hidden benefit. It left no scorch marks,like hot lasers do and it could penetrate to the bedrock layers and cause them to crumble into sand.The result? A localized but strong earthquake.

This cold laser could as a side effect create earthquakes, which was much better than hitting incoming missles because you could cause the ground under launch systems could be made to fail and make the sites useless. This made the Star Wars nuts very happy.



So what proof do I have? A video tape of DOD guys doing damage assesments in San Fran and L.A. As soon as they saw they were getting videoed,they bolted out of the scene. How is that proof? Well DOD doesn't film natural disasters,if that was true they'd have been all over Katrina. Disasters are FEMA's area of control. The young man who clocked Glenn, he had enough 'facetime' to tell everyone that was tuned in at that time the he worked for McDonald Douglas, helped invent the system,and there would be more and greater quakes to come.



This governence,at it's highest levels,those ABOVE the President, are heartless killers who move without consequence nor conscience. They don't care who is President and answer to no one in the White House. They are the Shadow Government. They feel they are above everyone but the do make mistakes. If you happened to be connected to American Telecasting, a cheap version of cable TV,the week before Bush stole the election at 10:30 pm on the 30th of Oct. your TV went blank for about a minute and if you didn't change the channel you heard a message saying. ' General ( crackling static) what's your readiness?" then a different voice came back ' The Shadow Government is now in Place' then your TV went haywire and the show you were watching came back on,with static. The very crap cable TV wasn't supposed to have.

These assholes are good at hiding themselves but they aren't infallable. If you haven't got the digital antenna for you sets yet, buy an extra old TV. Leave it alone and run a regular antenna, you won't get any shows but you will pickup other transmissions and you just might pick up the same things I have recorded.

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In the book, "The American West at Risk" [Wilshire, Nielson, Hazlett, Oxford U Press, 2008], the authors describe an earthquake that was induced by the high-pressure injection of wastewater into deep wells [in Ohio, a non-earthquake prone area]. So, it is apparently a known effect among geologists. However, the use of it in warfare, even if it was possible, seems rather far-fetched--especially given the modern warfare tendency toward 'precision' attacks with predictable results. Moreover, it seems unlikely that the human species will survive long enough to reach that far in it's efforts toward self-destruction.

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that despite all the evidence just recent History can & DOES show Us about the destructive abilities of Mankind, when a "new" way to destroy or control something is talked about, the FIRST reaction EVERY time is "NO Way They can do that!" Then comes the "Conspiracy Theory" attacks to discredit anyone trying to inform, learn about or understand this "new" technique, idea or 'invention'. No one takes the time to think about WHY all the attacks on this "new" thing are happening when it is SIMPLE to see that IF these attacks did not occur & the Public LEARNED about this "new" thing, whatever it is, the Ones responsible for it COULD NOT USE IT for the purpose of HARMING Others or as easily as They would like to! And this process of saying "No way! Mankind cannot do that (yet)" works EVERY time (when judged by the effectiveness on the overall Public)!

Anyone with an ounce of humanity, compassion for a fellow Human & a measure of "goodness" does NOT want to believe Others without these qualities can & would do terrible things for Their own benefit yet History SHOWS Us time & again They DO & WILL continue to do horrible things!

Because of this STUPIDITY, Evil, Vile & despicable People get away with MURDER, Mayhem & whatever other crap They want to while the General Pubic CONTINUES to 'believe' "That cannot be done!", "They wouldn't do that" or "That's Impossible!".

A PRIME example of this is the last addition to My Guest book on My Website http://www.whatsyourlifeworth2.info which states "Man You're Crazy!... You are small & insignificant" because I believe the N.S.A. is censoring My website! I have barely been able to post any entries on My site since February 10, 2009 on My OWN Computer! Any INTELLIGENT Person MIGHT want to ask WHY! What is so frightening about what I write there?

I have no idea IF Our "Government" can cause Earthquakes with focused beam weapons, But I have NO illusions that IF They can, They WOULD! I would THINK Everyone, out of a desire for seer Survival, would want to KNOW IF They could! LOOK at the recently released "secret documents"! "President" Bush had declared Himself a defacto Dictator, Yet We are fighting to have Him/& His Administration PROSECUTED with little results! Seems kind of Strange to Me in a "Democracy".

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Please, Alternet, it is this type of paranoia, pseudo-science, and rumor-mongering that tends to discredit the www as a significant source of real and authentic news. And you are one of the more respectable sites!
I have no problem with understanding that the Military Industrial Complex hijacked the Truman doctrine and has created billionaires and multi-millionaires at taxpayer expense since 1947. That is known history. We may have a permanent "War Party" (that integrates both the Democratic and Republican parties) operating out of Washington and Wall Street and so we see billions spent in R&D and weapons sold to Third World countries and the Middle East as testing grounds for these weapons. War is good (great?) for business. I can understand that, too.
But this Tesla/Buck Rogers garbage? Break out the tin foil caps, boys...

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I find my tin foil hat.

Now, what did I do with that damned thing...

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I was wondering the same thing about creating Hurricanes from space or from beneath the ocean which super heats a large portion of the water. Could that be done using sound waves?

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Is this supposed to pass as journalism?

"It is rumored that..."
"...who reportedly predicted..."
"...New York Times allegedly reported that..."
etc.

If you care to share actual *evidence* of anything, please share it. This article contained almost no actual information--just rumors, legends, and ambiguous accusations.

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... not CONSPIRACY THEORIES. The latter is best used to describe the everyday madness that goes on at the Capitol (or Parliament, or Bundestag or whatever they call it where you are) to take away more liberty and autonomy from you. So, here we go: along with David Ray Griffin and many others, I call the official account of 9/11 events a 'conspiracy theory', along with the explanations for the current global financial crisis or for anti-terrorist action. The perpetrators are in plain sight to us all, not in some elaborate X-Files ruse, but most people are so infected with the logic of their authorities that they can't see it for themselves.

Tesla was, like many genius scientists, estranged from society and kind of a weird guy, but he was not by nature pathological. There are some great biographies that give a convincing analysis of him... read them before you judge how his inventions came to be adopted and adapted by the military. Despite what Tom McNichol (humorist!) has to say, or even military officials close to the source of covert weapons development (you expect them to be honest with you in an interview?), this technology is realizable, and might already be in effect. Tesla, of course, is not directly responsible for the scientists who came after him, like Edward Teller, and brought these projects to fruition, but he was amazingly innovative when it came to anticipating weather modification (already happening!) and atmospheric energy transfer possibilities (HAARP, of course).

While some things are physically impossible to achieve, there are also 'fulcrums' where energy and mass can be critically effected without too much energy being used or without the contrivance of too many agents... I don't know exactly what to think about the ability to set off earthquakes yet, but I can accept this as a plausible, but necessarily covert, technology.

Anyone who doubts all this is a victim of wishful thinking who has been naturalized to accept the authoritarian standard line: that is, we are the only ones capable of looking after you; everything that we do is for your own safety; we need this dangerous stuff in order to protect you from even bigger (and more imaginary) dangers!

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The Bible prophesies that in the last days there will be earthquakes in divers(e) places.

Of course, those who believe in the Bible are conspiracy theorists also.

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heard of the microwave HAARP or GWEN networks of the 1960/70's? Before anyone dismisses this article, you should investigate..go to their government websites; the technologies have existed for a long time it's just that a minor portion of the public is just becoming aware...

1789

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1. Sarah Palin's state is home to a massive recipient of H.A.A.R.P. funding.

2. I'm reminded of the fantastic, but ENTIRELY TRUE story of *the day a farm blew up on Bell Island offshore from Newfoundland*... which is considered to be victim of a HAARP experiment (don't believe me? ...how many times have you heard of BOTH the Russians & Americans coming to visit a Canadian farm & examine damage with the RCMP??... you think I'm kidding, right? ...go do your homework... )

3. anybody remember that film, Conspiracy Theory?

Now, I'm not suggesting any of these three items have anything in common...

I'm just saying, its amazing how these things start to sound less like science fiction ... & a lot more like individual issues that should be investigated... because they're individually consisting of questions that sound as if...

somebody might be doing something & not letting us in on all the details so we might make informed consent ...





perspective, people.


Perspective.

The Jeff Farias Show: podcast

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READ MY WHOLE URL: http://www.inventube.com/ooojay/blog/ IT HAS THE SAME OFFER I SENT YOUR HUSBAND TO DELETE EARTHQUAKES AND QUAKE RELATED TSUNAMI'S PERMANENTLY. THIS, IF YOUR SERIOUS ABOUT YOUR STATEMENT ABOUT EARTHQUAKES MY SOLUTION CAN DELETE EARTHQUAKES FOREVER. EMAIL ME IF YOUR OR OUR COUNTRY IS INTERESTED IN BUYING MY SOLUTION TO DELETE EARTHQUAKES. MICHAEL J. SCHMITZ

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However it turns out with the Haarp/Tesla theory, I'm glad that Alternet printed this article. I think it is important to think in wider terms than we often do. Like the cop in the movie "The Exorcist" said,"If nobody ever said 'what is that fungus?', we would never have penicillin."

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I heard that there have been earthquakes in Iraq. Could they be caused by the U.S. bombings there?

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This article is ridiculous. The very real science behind the horrible Chinese decision to put a huge reservoir over an active fault is drowned out by one of the worst conspiracy theories I've ever heard. Hell I see better evidence for UFO's on the History channel! There is a reason almost everyone in science disregards most of Tesla's later ideas, they are JACK! He did great work and made enormous breakthroughs in electricity, but if you compare the difficulty of his accomplishments and the difficulty of his more eccentric ideas....well if you have any scientific sense you'll understand the dramatic difference.... Tesla is a hero to people who are interested in the cool things of science, but dont care enough to learn any of the boring facts....

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This article has no point of view, delivers no new information and uses the prop word, "conspiracists" as if to apologize for the existence of any printed word that introduces challenging ideas. Get some fifty year old National Geographics and Scientific American articles on the subject and stop wearing your ignorance as a badge.

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There is a LOT of evidence for this sort of thing if you'd get off your scoffing butts and do some investigation. New, very large bodies of water have been linked to earthquakes in the past. It is by those examples that many predict that as the ice caps melt and the oceans expand by trillions of tons that they too will trigger movements in the underlying crust... which we tiny things will experience as earthquakes.

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Alternet articles have gotten more and more ridiculous, from graphic descriptions of strap-on dildos to now earthquake conspiracy theories..........

I think it's time I realize that this is a ridiculous GenY site and move on.

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Tesla was a true genius, and like most true geniuses, a bit of a nut job.

Tesla was indeed famous for his work with AC and particularly the Tesla coil. Labeling him to just those pursuits misses a lot.

One of my favorite Tesla inventions is his boundary layer turbine, which is so simple that it is just pure genius. One of the most efficient energy conversion technologies that I have heard of, I am hoping to build one this summer and marry it with a solar boiler to generate electricity.

Anyway, Tesla was also big into resonance. He was famous for moving his neighbor's buildings, and then his own, at resonant frequencies and causing big problems. If I recall correctly, the earth resonates at about 8hz according to his tests.

As one poster mentioned, NT was also big on leveraging his energy, getting the most reaction for the least input. He was moving those buildings without the benefit of megawatt power sources.

He was also big into trying to project energy. He did light remote lights and even drive electric cars powered by projected fields that he set up in the atmosphere.

I am among the Tesla fans that thinks that it is highly probable that one of his projected energy experiments was involved in the Tunguska Explosion.

Looking at his capabilities almost 100 years ago, and considering that in those same hundred years we went from riding horses to counting terraflops, I think that it would be foolish to believe that various entities would not have taken his work exponentially into the future.

Shaking the ground, microwaving the upper atmosphere, EM pulses, huge waves of projected energy as a weapon, and all sorts of scary stuff isn't just possible, it is likely.

Tesla said that he could shoot down 300 airplanes or immobilize an entire army at a significant distance, plus do all of the things that I mentioned. That was 100 years ago.

While the Angel/HAARP folks might well be kooks, some of their stuff regarding Tesla and HAARP might not be that far off. In fact it could well be that they are spot on, or even understating things.

I am a big Tesla fan, and sometimes wonder if he didn't have a little ET blood in him. He made Einstein look like a short bus drooler. That ain't normal.

Now if we could only get our hands on his "Free abundant energy from any point on the globe" thing before Exxon does...

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I was a science geek in junior high school, winner of a NYS science fair, recruited by the CIA, USAF and US Army. Turned 'em all down: I was a Canadian. One of my science projects was Tesla's thermomagnetic motor; I read widely about his work. I'd agree his reach exceeded his grasp but that certainly wasn't true of Barnes Wallis, inventor of the 'dam busters' skipping mine, who developing the 'camouflet' bomb series, 'Tallboy' and 'Grand Slam.' These bombs were designed to create earthquakes beneath German U-boat pens and V1 weapons sites---and one railway tunnel, spectacularly collapsed from withing---and they did precisely that.
It's been done with conventional explosives. Why not with Tesla's radiation technologies?
And, as a sidebar, what of the paranormal work done by Dr William James and his circle into the power of radiation waves to control human behaviour 125 years ago?

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GOOd article.

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DVD Converter for MAC

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Imagine you have just purchased a piece of land say 390’ x 300’ – the approximate size of a soccer pitch. On it you build yourself a house measuring 200’ x 200’ consisting of 2 floors and a plane unfortunately flies into the top floor.

Since the plane is travelling at let’s say 400 mph, all the force would be propelled in the forward horizontal direction, and the result would be that the top floor would be virtually sheered off the ground floor.

As to the fate of the ground floor, well why would it collapse? Can you see it collapsing before your very eyes? I just can’t see it.

However, because the plane that hit the WTC happened to be very high up, it is very easy to create an illusion that it could collapse at break neck speed.

Whether or not it’s free fall is immaterial, next time you see a house burning, see how quickly it suddenly disappears before your very eyes. Oh dear, you’re going to have to wait a long time.

Next time you are gazing up at the Empire State Building, imagine a plane flying into it, and then imagine what it must take for the building to collapse in approximately 20 seconds.

See? It’s impossible. I’ve tried every which way to imagine a tall building collapsing rapidy. You could even simulate it by building a model and then whacking the top of it with a hammer as hard as you can, and then setting fire to it, even pouring kerosene all over the building.

Damn! It just won’t collapse on itself no matter how hard you try to bring it down.

Not to worry. Not only did 3 enormous buildings miraculously disappear in the twinkling of an eyelid, the instruments the caused it were able to evade the most highly sophisticated defence system ever built.

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‘Hey, Obama, sorry, I mean Osama, we hear you intend to hijack some planes and fly them into the heart of Manhattan. Don’t the Americans have ways of preventing that? Suppose they get shot down before they’re even half way there?’

‘Won’t make a blind bit of difference! We will have made our point, and that’s what counts. Bush will still come chasing after me, for he’s already made all his plans for invading Afghanistan, and he’s just waiting for the right moment. We need his troops out there because the Taleban are demanding too much money for the rights to the pipeline license, plus they’re trying to wipe out the opium industry.’

‘Fair dos, but do you have any idea how difficult it is to fly an airliner, especially those Boeings? Not only that, the guys who have volunteered are also going to deliberately end their lives. Supposing they are crap pilots, and they forget how to fly the damn things?’

‘I know, it’s going to be touch and go, but I am sure it will be ok on the day. But look at it this way. It’s not as if they’ve got to start it up and taxi it down the runway. All they have to do is overpower all the passengers, get in the cockpit and point it in the right direction. It will be child’s play I assure you, and so long as there is no heavy cloud blocking out the view of the ground, they’ll be no problem.’

‘And you reckon you’re basically going to succeed with 4 planes?’

‘Of course! The Americans, well, they are so dumb and inefficient at everything they do, our 19 volunteers are so ferocious and cunning they’ll just sail through customs, get on those planes, hijack all of them, put two fingers up to the FAA, and then fly two of them into those very tall buildings that are standing next to each other. It is a foolproof plan and nothing’s going to go wrong. Even better, we are choosing September 11 which equates to 911 which is the number Americans dial to get the emergency services.

Or so I believe it to be the case. Actually, none of us has ever needed to call the emergency services in America, so I guess I must be making this bit up.

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