Downsized Nine-to-Fivers Turn to Kinky Sex Work

By Tracy Quan, The Daily Beast. Posted February 5, 2009.

And at $200 an hour, a piquant visit to a Manhattan dungeon for a spanking administered by a good-looking girl with a liberal arts degree is easier on a guy's wallet than the "girlfriend experience" offered by many an Internet courtesan. If a pro-domme permits him to "satisfy himself," the end result may be similar enough to what he would get from an escort -- and less expensive. Men who pay for kink aren't all diehard fetishists or submissives -- a spanking isn't essential to their personal happiness. It may be an occasional side thrill. Clients are middle-management types, small-business owners, dentists, young lawyers, even a few single males who see themselves as casualties of the gig economy. A fence-sitter -- flirting with, not truly committed to kink -- might discover that the antidote to a recession resides in the nearest S&M parlor.

He might also be surprised to learn that the woman whose toes he's sucking isn't much kinkier than he is. Because many of these freelance pro-dommes are just supplementing their incomes and don't plan on staying in sex work forever, they may not be as erotically hardcore in their outside lives. "I wasn't really that interested" in S&M, says Chloe. "I got involved because it was easy money. The strap-on? I'm OK with it, but it's not really a personal interest of mine."

Chloe is a middle-income student about to graduate from the School of Visual Arts. Her dungeon activities pay for school supplies, shoes, laptop equipment, Metro cards, and food. She's even used freelance kink work to allow her to take an unpaid internship -- something you can't necessarily do if you're not bankrolled by your parents. In this way, S&M promotes social mobility. Chloe says her mother "would probably cry" and be "very upset" about her fetish gigs, but I suspect some parents would be secretly proud of a daughter resourceful enough to hack the increasingly rigid class system that permeates New York life.

Though dominatrix work is considered by many to be the hardest in the sex industry, being able to avoid actual intercourse is key to its appeal to "everyday" women who are just looking to pick up a little extra money to pay the bills. Because of this, counterintuitive as it sounds, the kink sector tends to attract women who are more risk-averse than traditional call girls -- and more law-abiding.

Lyla, for instance, has worked the fetish party circuit as a popular foot model and pro-domme, always "staying within the bounds of what was legal." She is understandably proud to have "a very particular foot with a high arch." On a good night, she might bring in $1,000 -- "you get to keep it all, and it's completely legal," she adds, citing a celebrated 1994 decision (New York v. Georgia A.) concerning the definition of "sexual conduct," a key element of prostitution law.

That court decision has been a blessing and, perhaps, a curse -- contributing to an oversupply of talent. Not every pro-domme earns as much as Lyla does because, she says, "dungeon managers take advantage of the social stigma around our work." Some domination houses pocket a pro-domme's tips, while others impose wacky fines. Although the work itself is legal, people -- especially freelancers -- are reluctant to challenge these practices through official channels.

So has kink lost its glamour? Is it just a bunch of office drones slipping it into their schedules of consulting gigs and child rearing? Actually, kink was never as glam as people imagined it to be. Trust me, I know: Even if you're bossing your client around in a pair of thigh-high boots, you're still working in a service industry. And after an hour, your feet hurt.

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Tracy Quan's latest novel is Diary of a Jetsetting Call Girl, set in Provence and praised in The Nation as a "deft account of occupational rigors and anxieties before the crash." She is the author of the bestsellers Diary of a Manhattan Call Girl and Diary of a Married Call Girl and is a columnist for The Guardian.

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